How do I act confident?!
Question: I often feel self-conscious even when no one has hurt my feelings. How can I "shine with confidence" even when I don't feel that way? :p)
Answers: I often feel self-conscious even when no one has hurt my feelings. How can I "shine with confidence" even when I don't feel that way? :p)
I do understand. You just think that automatically someone is going to critisize you no matter what you say or do. Well I used to be like that when I was younger, like in my teens. I guess I can say that I learned to just express my self no matter what. If the people you are around are contatly putting you down or makes you feel like your not good enough. Then there is something wrong with them. You need to remove all the negative energy and people out of your life that make you feel less than what you are, and surround yourself with people who enjoy having you around, and talking, and love hearing you out. Eventually you will find yourself, and what you love about your self and that will be the thing(s) that will help you shine with confidance.
Maybe decide what it is about you that you are so self concious about and find away to fix it, or if you cant than accept it and love it. If anyone has something bad to say or to put you down, it is usually to make them feel better about them self, and that is even more ugly than you could probably ever even feel.
Have you ever heard of " Killing someone with Kindness" Well there are alot of people who are jelous in this world and will do anything they can to break you or see you down so they dont feel like they are in competition with you, or that you are any better than them. Even though your intentions are just to be friends, there are awful jelous people who hate people with genuinly good hearts, like you, and are made to believe they are not good enough, because that will entertain you for awhile and you cant still that other persons shine.
Before that happens girl, let me tell you. " Kill your haters with Kindness!" No matter what they say or do, dont show them it has effected you. Just keep being nice and smiling, and you will watch that ugly side of them just like the exersisit.
If someone was a real friend or really cares they wont judge you, and if they absolutly have to to say somehting, they can come to you a right and mature way.
So just remember, Be who you are, if some one dont like it, they can love it, and if they dont love it... they dont have to look.... keep your spirits up, and let your confidence shine and watch all the beautiful things that will come to your satisfaction. Smile and love yourself.
Many people have confidence problems. These are brought on for a whole host of different reasons - usually with low self-esteem as the trigger, which in itself is brought on by many different things.
If you want to be confident, then you first need to learn to ACT confident - this is the bridge between wanting to be confident and actually being confident.
Your internal dialogue powerfully programs and shapes your self-concept. If you believe you are worthy and strong, you will live up to that truth. The following exercises will help to focus your habits and patterns and hopefully set you free of some of your negative internal dialogue.
Exercise 1
Pick a day for doing this exercise, preferably a day when you don't plan to be doing anything dramatic or out of the ordinary. Keep your journal or a small notebook and pen handy throughout the day. Make a series of appointments with yourself. Every two hours, stop what you're doing, take out the notebook, and simply jot down observations about the self-talk you've been having for the past two hours. Each of these eight or ten note-taking sessions need only take a few minutes. Write down what you've been telling yourself about:
Your appearance.
The work that you've been doing for the past two hours.
Your intelligence.
Your competence.
Your skills and abilities.
Your worth.
If you find it easier not to wait for the two-hour mark, but instead to jot things down as you hear yourself saying them, then by all means, do it that way. The point is to develop a thorough understanding of one day's internal dialogue, without completely upsetting your daily schedule.
Exercise 2
Imagine that you are scheduled to make an important presentation at work tomorrow. A number of important customers or clients, as well as several of your coworkers and you boss, will be there watching. It's the night before. You're lying in bed, in the dark, think about the presentation. What are you saying to yourself?
Take whatever time you need to consider, honestly and thoroughly, the kinds of messages that would be going through your head. You'd be having a conversation with yourself, so what would you be saying? Write down as much of this conversation as you can.
Exercise 3
Look back at the writing that you did for both Exercises 1 and 2. Do you see common themes or threads running through both sets of writings? If so, what are those common features? Describe them in writing.
Exercise 4
When you look back over your writing for Exercises 1 and 2, how would you describe the overall tone or mood of your internal dialogue? Is it positive, upbeat? Or is it pessimistic, defeatist, self-condemning? If it is positive, is it rational? Or is it just some rah-rah self-con job with no substance? Are there particular areas where what you've written sounds especially harsh or critical? By contrast, does your internal dialogue as to some areas of your life strike you as particularly upbeat and optimistic? Circle any writing that you think illustrates especially positive or especially negative internal dialogue.
Exercise 5
Again, glancing back over your writing for both Exercises 1 and 2: What does your writing tell you about your locus of control? Is your internal dialogue oriented externally, internally or in accordance with chance? Write down your answer.
Exercise 6
As you look at your writing, answer this question: What kind of a friend are you to yourself throughout the day? If you were a friend whispering in your ear the messages you recorded in Exercises 1 and 2, what kind of friend would you be? You're the one who talks to you, all day, every day. What kind of friend are you? Are you actively creating a toxic environment for yourself, contaminating your experience of the world? Or are the messages that you send yourself characterized by a rational and productive optimism?
It is very hard to go straight from wanting to be confident to actually being confident; that is such a huge loop. Therefore the intermediate step is to act AS IF you are confident, in a sense to pretend you are when you are not, like an actor on a stage.
If you act like you are confident, convincingly, then you will find people are much more likely to treat you as if you are confident, and as a result, you will make the transformation from acting confident to actually being confident!
I believe self confidence is in the way you carry yourself. There has been so many times I felt the same way you described but I would walk with my head up, straight posture, no head down and look people in the eye. You also have to tell yourself you are good. Remind yourself of the positive things about you! Don't let anyone make you feel less than. Some of the sexiest people in the world are not necessarly the most beautiful.
Well, you have to stop and address the problems you have with yourself....
-What don't you like?
Your image? Well, get a magazine, and they usually have articles about how to do your hair, make-up, what hair cut would be best for you...etc.
The key to confidence is feeling good in your skin. So if you don't "feel good in your skin" then it's time to change it up a bit.
I don't know what you look like or why you lack confidence...so I don't know what to tell you to do to fix this, b/c I don't know what the problem is,lol, but feel free to contact me and maybe we can fix this problem.
luck!
=)
Imagine you are a star and everyone is waiting to see you and hear what you have to say
There could be many reasons for this.... Here is my prescription.
#1. Pick out the things that you feel bad about yourself.
#2. Give yourself things that you can accomplish, and do it. For example, weight loss for me always improves my self confidence. So I run, or lift weights etc.... Looking good in a mirror always helps.
#3. If you like the outdoors. Pick a mountain and go climb it.
#4. Dress sexy and go out. If you look good, people of the opposite sex will notice, and it will help.
Hope this helps.
See self esteem/confidence, in section 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and consider volunteering, even from home, at first. It will also provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I ..(insert activity here).." Section 47 also refers. On volunteering outside the home, you will come into contact with supportive people, and receive positive feedback for your efforts, which will be obviously appreciated: there are many options; one is sure to suit you. Practise one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you . Section 53, and pages 2, 2.q and 2.o at ezy-build also refer. "Even though I sometimes have low self esteem/confidence, I deeply and completely accept myself". ~~~
1. Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change.
2. Celebrate your journey, not your destination. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow.
3. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction. Know what you want. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.
4. Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tend to be more successful in their career.
5. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You'll be amazed how this works.)
6. Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person.
7. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation. [ AND MINE: USE THEIR NAME FOR A WHILE, OFTEN, AT FIRST, SO IT HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF MAKING THE TRANSITION FROM SHORT TERM, TO LONG TERM MEMORY. FOR EXAMPLE: "What sort of things are you interested in, Mordecai? I like archery, and train spotting, but am no longer combining the two." next: "I'm from Upper Volta, Mordecai, Where are you from, originally?" READ SECTION 41, AT EZY BUILD, FOR MORE MEMORY TIPS.]
8. Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice