Help! How do you help someone with addiction understand how much its damaging th!
Question: my spouse has a major addiction. Although he knows he's an addict he doesn't see why its not ok to be an addict. How can I help him understand its destroying his relationship with his son, makes him moody, and keeps him from working...plus its hurting us financially. I think if he could see what all its doing he'd get help. What should I do?
Answers: my spouse has a major addiction. Although he knows he's an addict he doesn't see why its not ok to be an addict. How can I help him understand its destroying his relationship with his son, makes him moody, and keeps him from working...plus its hurting us financially. I think if he could see what all its doing he'd get help. What should I do?
you can't help him understand. you can't help him notice. you can't help him stop. this is his problem. unfortunately for you, it has become your problem as you are with him. since this is his problem, then you need to allow for it to be his problem. instead of this "hurting us financially" it needs to "hurt HIM financially". go on about your daily life financially as you would if you were alone. if this means that there's not enough food for him...well? if this means that he doesn't have clean clothes....um? cut his resources. if you continue supporting his habit by "being there for him" the only thing it's going to get is worse. ensure that you can pay your own bills. ensure that you do not purchase anything new "together" (ie - credit in both of your names). ensure that you can feed yourself, clothe yourself, get yourself to work and are independent - before you become a CO-dependent of his addiction.
while this sounds harsh - it is necessary, especially if you love yourself. in doing so, you are not asking him to leave, you are not criticizing him, you are not putting him on the defense - you are saving you.
good luck.
well all you neeed to do is SHOW him what would happen if he doesnt stop or you can just leave him and make him come bacck to you. I know it sounds cruel but I mean if words dont make him understand then maybe ACTIONS will...
First he has to realize he has a problem. Alcoholics anonymous is where you should go to seek advice. This organization has helped many of my friends that had drug/alcohol problems.Good luck.
unfortunately you cannot make him see the damage he is causing. Addicts have to hit rock bottom to rise above the addiction, but that is not a guarantee. He needs professional help, and it will take longer than the 28 day 12 step program. Just look at all the celebs who check in and out, and go back to old habits. It takes years to overcome addiction. I'm sorry to say protect yourself and family before its to late. Good luck-I've been there many times-look out for yourselves or you will go down with him.
The best thing you can do for him is pray. Now i understand u may not believe in that kind of stuff....but just try more than once, if u want the relationship to stay healthy, try and if it does work then you will know it is God, and that he has helped. Your son is being very effected and will remember this forever, your spouse needs to know how much it is hurting not only you and ur son, but him. Its not healthy for a young one to be around some1 like that.... Let your son know every things going to be alright, and pray with him. For more info email @ syradust478@aol.com
Leave - you are enabling him. Maybe if you do that he will hit a bottom. Maybe not. Addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful