What Can I possibly do about all this craziness going on all around me? How do I!


Question: I had to evict my lifelong friend from my home last week and move back in b/c he was doing drugs and refused to let me come home even if he cont. to live here rent-free. Then the guy I was dating went back on crack, but he is better now and we are still talking. My estranged husband is coming back around me now but he is still on methadone--legally and smokes pot-illegally. He refused to give either up wants me to give up all my friends. My other best friend is in the hospital with two blood clots on her lung and my other friend is in the psych ward . I was in the psych ward about a month ago. I am off work until next Friday. I have so much going on that I don't know what to be doing with myself. I have been going to church and that helps. My mom got mad at me for talking to my husband again and refuses to talk to me anymore--she cut me out of her life again. So any advice for the lonely, scared, excited and busy drama queen that does not involve so much drama?


Answers: I had to evict my lifelong friend from my home last week and move back in b/c he was doing drugs and refused to let me come home even if he cont. to live here rent-free. Then the guy I was dating went back on crack, but he is better now and we are still talking. My estranged husband is coming back around me now but he is still on methadone--legally and smokes pot-illegally. He refused to give either up wants me to give up all my friends. My other best friend is in the hospital with two blood clots on her lung and my other friend is in the psych ward . I was in the psych ward about a month ago. I am off work until next Friday. I have so much going on that I don't know what to be doing with myself. I have been going to church and that helps. My mom got mad at me for talking to my husband again and refuses to talk to me anymore--she cut me out of her life again. So any advice for the lonely, scared, excited and busy drama queen that does not involve so much drama?

Obviously therapy and perhaps some sort of meds consistent with what your therapist diagnoses. You don't have to be in a psych ward to get psychological and psychiatric help.

It's good to recognize that you're drawn to drama - it's the usual "codependent" reason to choose druggie friends and lovers, or people with mental problems. Then again, creating or enjoying, on some level, drama goes with a variety of psychological conditions. Diagnosis would be important in figuring out the best way to deal.

It sounds like your mother may also be a bit dramatic if she's cutting you out of her life, though for all I know your behavior may be giving her reason, and maybe she wants you to hit bottom and see you need to give up these druggie friends. It may take considerable insight and work to learn to choose different people with whom to associate. For now, alone time might be good. I'm guessing that if you've been around these sorts of folks a lot, you're familiar with 12-step groups and that Al-anon might help a lot. If you're into the self-help thing and it's appropriate, "Codependent No More" is a good read. If you have had your own substance abuse problems, AA is always out there as well.

My feeling is that no matter what faults you think you have, or how much stress you're under, you are a very strong person. I say that because you have been through all the things you describe and are still standing. That's remarkable, you know - I hope you'll take a moment or two to congratulate yourself!

you need to step away from all the people who are causing the drama and only concentrate on you

yup get rid of the husband you shouldn't trust him as far as you could throw him. if he wants you to give up your friends then something is wrong. the only advice i can give is try to release the tension, how is up to you. and talk to someone it really does help





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