My sons best friends mother has a mental illness.?!
Question: My son has a best friend, whose mother has paranoid schizo. At first, I was thinking this lady is just crazy..drama queen, doesnt work and exagerates and needs a hobby. Then I witnessed serious issues she said people follow her, her family is out to get her, dead bodies in her garage, she uses her autistic son as a communicator for this sickness. She will have these episodes, she gets completely paranoid and has called the police on herself twice that I know. The police told me she was nuts. Noone can commit her except her husband. Just last week I spoke to her husband and he was able to have her go to the mental facility but then they let her out within 24 hours. I am trying to ween my child from this boy and their family. I told my son he is not allowed over there anymore. I just tell my son she doesnt feel well in her head.
I do not need anymore problems, she doesnt get it. I am trying to rationalize with a mental person. Driving me crazy.I think the husband is afraid of her.
Answers: My son has a best friend, whose mother has paranoid schizo. At first, I was thinking this lady is just crazy..drama queen, doesnt work and exagerates and needs a hobby. Then I witnessed serious issues she said people follow her, her family is out to get her, dead bodies in her garage, she uses her autistic son as a communicator for this sickness. She will have these episodes, she gets completely paranoid and has called the police on herself twice that I know. The police told me she was nuts. Noone can commit her except her husband. Just last week I spoke to her husband and he was able to have her go to the mental facility but then they let her out within 24 hours. I am trying to ween my child from this boy and their family. I told my son he is not allowed over there anymore. I just tell my son she doesnt feel well in her head.
I do not need anymore problems, she doesnt get it. I am trying to rationalize with a mental person. Driving me crazy.I think the husband is afraid of her.
Unstable environments are not good places for kids, so wanting your son not to hang out there makes sense. Not having the other kid over to your place, however, is a loss for him. He needs to know what an ordinary home is and also that he is not his mother's illness. That is not your responsibility, but it is a kindness you can offer.
As for dealing with the mother, stop trying to rationalize and don't try to fix. She has to assume responsibility for managing her illness with meds and therapy. Shy of that, no one can do it for her. Yet, there is something for you to learn from this person if you are open to it. Most ppl experience the world in one way. She experiences it differently. There is nothing right or wrong about it. You call it crazy and nuts. Yes, by some measures. By others, she's someone who experiences the world differently than most ppl. It's not inferior, less than, evil, or even scary. It's different, and differences usually make for interesting learning providing you don't get wrapped up in judging while you're at it.
I can't walk away w/o saying it. You sound angry at this woman. Yet it is she with a very serious mental illness, and most likely is in too much of a paranoid psychosis to trust getting treatment. That's a truly awful place to be. Your anger is misplaced.
JMO from one of the 'loons' with bipolar disorder.
Where is the question...?
if you can proove she is dangerous to either herself or others you can have her commited.
wow...this is going to be a tough one...if the family can't get her on some meds to level her out, you don't need that in your life..totally understand...you don't have to explain anything to her, just become to busy with your son, your child has things to do or go...but it's sad if the boys are good friends and can't play together...don't answer the phone, door, etc..maybe she will get the hit...but what about her husband, tell him how you feel.
if you live close to each other, big problem..if not, you should be able to end ties..
good luck
It's a very hard situation. Your son and his friend shouldn't have to pay the consequences of his mother's mental illness. Instead of weening your son from his friend, try to always have his friend come to your house. Make all the arrangements through his father. It's very unfortunate that a child should have to suffer due his/her parent's mental condition.
Also, the mental health system is no longer setup to take long term patients with mental illness. It is now setup as a crisis intervention step. The treatment teams now make sure that a person is not a danger to themselves or others and then refers them to an outside therapist and psychiatrist (medication education). The average stay on behavioral health units is now 3-5 days.
It is obvious you love your son, but remember your son also cares about his friend.
Hope this helps!
She apparently didn`t voluntarily sign the commitment papers, so the hospital can`t hold her unless she is a threat to herself or others. You don`t say how old your son is, but you made a good decision to keep him away. Too bad someone can`t get this poor woman some help as there is medication that would help, but not cure her illness.
It makes sense that as a caring parent you're worried about your child, and i think you're right to limit or even stop your child from spending time at the woman's house, but encouraging your child to end the friendship with this boy is not the answer. This teaches your child that he should be afraid and not associate with people with mental illness. It isolates his poor friend who is probably in desperate need of good friends and normality in his life.
Being friends with someone who has a mental illness can be challenging and even frightening at times, but it is never as bad for the onlooker as it is for the person themselves dealing with the illness. The only difference between you and this lady is that you are you lucky enough not to have Schizophrenia.....yet.
Think a little more about how you would want you to respond if it were you in her shoes...because one day it might be..or it may be your son, your grandchild, your niece or nephew. People need support, not fear and judgement.