Suddenly my confidence has gone. What's wrong with me?!


Question: I'm 15 and lately, my confidence rate has gone down. I scared to speak up in class now, and I get so nervous at Jazz Band concerts and even practices, that my fingers trip over the piano keys! And lately, I've been drawn in by depressing music, and everyone in my Jazz Band tells me to play music that is a little happier. I've been given advice to be the one to make the first move and kiss my bf, but I get so nervous I decide not to. My friend told me to just kiss him on the cheek, but I can't even do that. I've even stopped yelling at my mom what I think my rights are. What's happening to me???? I need help!!!!! So please, give me advice!


Answers: I do not know if this will make any sense to you, but you are in a time, where your world is changing, and changing drastically. Your also going through hormonal changes, and sometimes there is the feeling that you need to feel the sadness before you can move on. I am NOT suggesting by any means to allow it to take over, but I really believe you are being too hard on yourself. It takes time to feel comfortable in one's own skin, so to speak, especially through your teen years. I'm not blaming it all on just being a teen-ager and if you think that maybe talking to a therapist about gaining self-esteem, or someone you trust, maybe having their support will be helpful to you. I speak from experience, and I remember what it felt like. I think that sometimes when going through all the changes that happen through these years, people don't realize that it may not happen the same to everyone, and maybe some people won't admit to it, but I don't know of anyone who has not gone through some insecure times, and just slow down a bit and take your time. Find someone you feel has your best interest at heart, if you want to talk with someone else about it, and please try not to beat yourself up too much about dealing with so many changes. It can be a difficult time, but I can promise you, you are not alone, and I know that being too critical of yourself can only make it more difficult than it already is. Slow down, allow yourself to feel what you are feeling, whatever it is, and remember, (even from me) it's easier to give advice, then it is to go through the problem. I just know I had to work through it in my own time and at my own speed. I sure hope this helps you some. Please just remember to not beat yourself up emotionally about all of these things happening. I do know this from personal experience, and it only makes it harder to face.





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