I have been struggling with the death of my grand-father. HELP!!!!?!


Question: I have been struggling with the death of my grand-father!. HELP!!!!!?
How do I get over the death of a loved one!. He was always there for me!. But I just don't know how to get over his death!. But some one out there has the kindness in his/her heart to help me over this sturggling problem!. He has been dead for a long time!. (2-3 years tops) And now i'm a grown girl!. Some times my friends call me weird!. Just because I can't get over his death!. My therapist said to think of the good things that happened when he was here!. But everything was a good thing!. How do I get over this!. But not cry about everything that people tell me about him!. Even the bad stuff!. He will always be in my heart!. And even my mom calls me crazy!. Because when I'm angry I go down into my room and them talk to myself!. I think that it's perfectly normal!. But others think that I'm totally crazy!. Please help me get over this!. I think that even doctors couldn't help me!. But maybe some advice should!. And hopfully some one has the right advice!. That would work totally for me!. And hurry!!!!!!!!!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
What would your grandfather think of you constantly mouning over his death!. He wouldnt want to be like that!. He would want you to continue life because death is appart of life and he is in a better place now!. Your grandfather wants you to live a happy life too just like him!. You dont have to just move on but think of the happy times it may not be the same but you can still talk to him maybe not physically but just talk to him when your down you will find out it actually makes things easier!. I lost my grandfather too it was very sudden too in January 2008 and we all mourned but we didnt let it control us !. He was a great man and lived a great life!. He was a great role model to me and he is now in a better place and soon i will also be with him!.

Hope this helps, wasnt sure if your a christian or he was so hope i didnt offend you in any was!.

And im so sorry for your lossWww@Answer-Health@Com

You were so very fortunate to have a wonderful, loving relationship with your grandfather!
Always remember the fine things he has taught you!. A good part of him will always be with you by way of the influence his attention and advice and example has become ingrained in you!.
He is at rest (do you believe in heaven, I do) and he is still able to be with you spiritually!.
My older sister died many years ago and I put her in charge of parking places!.!.!.stupid!? !.!.!.maybe!.!.!.but I ALWAYS find a parking place anytime, anyplace!Www@Answer-Health@Com

From someone who has lost two siblings, one ten years ago and one a month ago, I could tell you that you will never get over it, but that is not necessarily a bad thing!. Our loved ones should never be forgotten, they live on inside of you!. Let your grandfather live on inside of you and know that whenever you need your grandfather, he was always there to begin with!. Do not think that it is weird that you talk to yourself, I do it often and I have found that it helps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

i dont think there is anything wrong with missing a loved one who has passed away,ive lossed all my grandparents as well as a parent!.I will always miss and love them!.I even have conversations with them(in my head)you can always remember the different things that they would say,therefore you have a good idea of what they would say in any current situations!.Possably you should simply keep your conversations with them privateWww@Answer-Health@Com

So sorry for your loss!. I lost my grandmother 4 years ago, and I was very close to her!. I still grieve over it!. It is especially hard on holidays, and even moreso my recent wedding, not having her there made me so sad!. I don't think you are crazy!. What has helped me is making a scrapbook about her, and watchign a DVD of her 90th birthdy party!. I guess the greater question is !.!.!.is your grief impacting your functioning!? I am glad youhave therapy!. Are there any bereavement groups you can go to!? I "talk" to my grandmother or write her letters!. Creepy!? I don't really care, it makes me feel better!. I also notice I miss her more when I am having a bad time, and I think I turn to that grief so I could deal with that instead of my other problems!.!.!.just something to think about so you don't miss maybe subconcious issues you are ignoring!. Your grandfather is with you and if you are a person of faith pray to him!. The bereavement process takes time!.!.!.and it varies from individuals!. Be grateful that you had such a close bond with him!. I personally did not get to know either of my grandfathers!. Count your blessings, and I will say a prayer for you!. It will get better!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I don't know why your therapist didn't tell you this, but grief for loved ones goes through many stages, and there can be YEARS in btween stages!.

The closer you were to that person, the longer the grieving period!.

2-3 years is NOT a long time for the grief process - my grandfather never got over my grandmother, but did his grieving in little things, like continuing to wear the pajamas she made him, even when they were threadbare!. he did remarry, two years after her death, but he never forgot her and she never left his heart!.

I was also very close to my grandmother; she had a lot to do with my upbringing and who I am today!. She got cancer, but by the time they found out, it was in her bone marow and her brain!. The only solace was the tumor on her spine, which kept her from ever feeling any pain!. She died while I was pregnant with my first child, several states away, and I was forbidden to travel!. My sister was also pregnant at the same time, also too far gone to travel!. The last thing my grandma was ever able to say to me was "I'm sorry I can't make anything for the babies!." That still brings tears to my eyes, 29 years later!.

I still miss her, but it doesn't kill me anymore!.

You're not crazy in the least - lots of people talk out loud when angry or very upset!. I see your mom was not at all close to your grandpa!. She should try some compassion!.

You have a softer heart, a loving compasionate heart!. Don't try to suppress it!. Your missing him will get better in time; you'll go days and weeks without missing him!.

But you'll never forget him - and you never should - he was a big part of making you who you are!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

In the span of 8 years from 4th grade to 11th grade I lost 5 great-grand parents, 2 of which I was close to!. I also lost quite a few pets during that time, one of which I was really close to!. I lost 2 of my great-grandpa's in 4th grade, I was close to one of them despite him having a stroke and not being able to talk or anything I still visited him and talked to him in hopes he would recover!. He never did and he got worse until my great grandma decided to end it as he was on life support!. That great grandma lived on for 8 more years till my junior year of high school!. I was so close to her and it hurts because I miss her a lot but I think about everything she taught me and and how i know she is watching over me in everything I do!. Like my first car accident I was close to being killed but i know she was watching me and my sister and I came out of it with no injuries!. She taught me how to cook, how to sew, she introduced me to plays and she took me from the time I was little liike 5 years old until i was a sophomore!. I will always remember the last time I stayed at her house, she wasn't able to go to the play like we planned but that night I stayed at her house even though I thought I was too old to do it I did because I know she wanted me to!. I'm glad I did because it was the last time I got to wake up and make her coffee like i had always done whewn I was younger!. Yeah I still cry about it and miss her but you have to remember and celebrate their life!. Like as I am typing this I miss her and I am crying but its okay because I live every day in hopes that I will be a great-grandma and be like her!. Go ahead and cry but celebrate rather than mourn his death!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I'm so sorry for your loss!. It's extremely hard to lose a grandparent, especially when we're so close to them!. I lost my grandfather four years ago, and in some ways, I still mourn that!.

Anyone who calls you crazy for mourning the loss of your grandfather should be henceforth ignored!. It wasn't them!. Their relationship with him - if they had one at all - was different from your relationship with him!. Their memories aren't the same!. And everyone feels grief in a different way!.

Yes, Thinking of happy times is a bit clich



The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories