Need help on this topic PLEASE READ?!
Question: Need help on this topic PLEASE READ!?
Ok i get botherd by things realy easy geitng a voicemail on my phone bother me cause i never know what the persons gona say anyway when i did something wrong not on purpose and i know it wasnt realy bad i dwell on it and then i make myself ok with it then i go back to dwelling on it and advice tips please!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Hi There!. I want you to know that I used to think a lot like you do, as well as a lot of other ways that are not really all that 'normal' at least by today's standards and expectations!. I had so many things that seemed intolerable and I blew them extremely out of proportion!. It took me awhile to put this together for you, so PLEASE READ!
It might take awhile for you to understand some things and there are probably some types of thinking in this list that don't even apply to you!.
Read through them and select the ones that you feel apply to you!. These types of thinking are available on the internet which is to say that they are 'quite viable'!.
Here it goes:
15 TYPES OF DISTORTED THINKING
THOUGHT DISTORTIONS:
? 01!. Tunnel vision
? 02!. Awfulising
? 03!. Black & White Thinking
? 04!. Generalization
? 05!. Assumption
? 06!. Projection
? 07!. Negative Thinking
? 08!. Self-consciousness
? 09!. Blame
? 10!. Unfairness
? 11!. Emotional Reasoning
? 12!. Manipulation
? 13!. Shoulds
? 14!. Got To Be Right
? 15!. Heaven's Reward
THOUGHT DISTORTIONS
01!. Tunnel Vision
Example: "I Expect It'll Be Another Boring Party"!.
It Is Being Stuck In A Mental Groove!. In Particular You Look For That Which Confirms Your Fear Or Prejudice, Remember It From The Past, And Expect It In The Future!. You Ignore Other Points Of View Or The Possibility Of Alternative Solutions!.
02!. Awfulising
Example: "I Can't Bear Going On These Awful Buses"!.
This Attitude Is Saying That It's Unacceptable If Things Aren't As You Would Prefer Them To Be!. You Take The Negative Aspect Of A Situation And Magnify It!. To Handle This, Recognize When You Use Words Like Terrible, Awful, Disgusting, Etc!. In Particularly The Phrase, "I Can't Stand It"!. Examine Their Rationality!.
03!. Black & White Thinking
Example: "You're Either For Me Or Against Me"!.
Things Are Black Or White, Wonderful Or Terrible, A Great Success Or A Total Failure, Brilliantly Clever Or Really Stupid, A Certainty Or A Complete Mystery, Friend Or Enemy, Love Or Hate - There Is No Middle Ground, No Room For Improvement, And No Room For Mistakes!. Judgments On Self And Others Swing From One Emotional Extreme To Another And Are Easily Triggered!. It Is Important To Remember That Human Beings Are Just Too Complex To Be Reduced To Dichotomous Judgments, And That All Qualities Fall Somewhere Along A Continuum, Containing Elements Of Either Extreme!.
04!. Generalization
Example: "I'll Never Be Any Good At Tennis" After One Poor Game!.
In This Distortion You Make A Broad, Generalized Conclusion, Often Couched In The Form Of Absolute Statements, Based On A Single Piece Of Evidence!. If Something Bad Happens Once, You Expect It To Happen Over And Over Again!. If Someone Shows Evidence Of A Negative Trait, This Is Picked Up On And Exaggerated Into A Global Judgment!. This Inevitably Leads To A More And More Restricted Life And Your View Of The World Becomes Stereotyped!. Cue Words That Indicate You May Be Over-Generalizing Are: All, Every, None, Never, Always, Everybody And Nobody!. To Become More Flexible Use Words Such As: May, Sometimes And Often, And Be Particularly Sensitive To Absolute Statements About The Future, Such As "No One Will Ever Love Me", Because They May Become Self-Fulfilling Prophecies!.
05!. Assumption
Example: "Nothing Can Change The Way I Feel"!.
Making An Assumption, Presupposes Knowledge That You Do Not Have!. Assumptions Are Often Popular Beliefs That Have Been Adopted Without Examining Their Basis In Fact, Such As "I'm Over The Hill Now That I'm Forty"!. Making Decisions Based On Assumptions May Lead To Disaster, As When An Executive Assumes That A New Product Will Sell Well, Having Made No Market Research!. Often, Taking Things For Granted Causes People To Be Blind To Possible Solutions - Assuming No-One Can Help Them, A Couple's Marriage May Go On The Rocks, When They Could Seek Counseling!. Question: What Leads You To Believe This!? Why Do It This Way!? Who Says!? What Alternatives Are There!? What Would Happen If You Did!? What Would Happen If You Didn't!?
As A Practical Matter, All Of Us Must Proceed With The Business Of Living By Relying On "Maps" Of The World Which We Have Taken On Trust And Which We Have Not Tested And Often Cannot Test!. To Supplement Personal Experience, We Absorb A Constant Stream Of Reports, Descriptions, Judgments, Inferences And Assumptions Coming From A Multitude Of Sources!. From This Abundance Of Stored Information, You Piece Together A Mental "Model" Of The World And Its Workings That Literally Becomes Your World View!. However, People Do Vary Considerably In The Extent Of Their Misinformation And In The Degree To Which They Actively Seek Out New Information, Take Opportunities To Correct Or Update Their Mental Models, And Expose Themselves To New Experiences!.
06!. Projection
Example: "I Know He Doesn't Like Me"!.
Making False Assumptions About What Other People Think Depends On A Process Called Projection!. It Is Like Mind-Reading - Putting Words Into Peoples' Mouths!. You Imagine That People Feel The Same Way You Do And React To Things The Same Way!. If You Get Angry When Someone Is Late, You Assume That Another Will Feel The Same Way About You Or Others, In That Situation!. If You Don't Like Yourself, You Assume Others Also Think That Way!. The Answer Is Not To Jump To Conclusions About What Other People Think And Feel!.
07!. Negative Thinking
Example: "We Haven't Seen Each Other For Two Days - I Think The Relationship Is Falling Apart"!.
You Read A Newspaper Article About Some Misfortune And Wonder If That Could Happen To You!. Predicting Negative Consequences Is A Defense, To Protect Oneself From Disappointment By Expecting The Worst!. Consider, What Are The Realistic Odds Of That Happening!?
08!. Self-Consciousness
Example: "Quite A Few People Here Seem Smarter Than I Am"!.
This Is The Introverted Tendency To Relate Everything Around You To Yourself, To Think People Must Be Judging You, Or To Think That Everything They Do Or Say Is A Reaction To Something About You!. It Is The Habit Of Continually Comparing Yourself To Other People, Based On The Underlying Assumption Is That Your Worth Is Questionable!. You Are Therefore Continually Forced To Test Your Value As A Person By Measuring Yourself Against Others!. If You Come Out Better You Have A Moment's Relief; If You Come Up Short, You Feel Diminished!. Your Worth Doesn't Depend On Being Better Than Others, So Why Start The Comparison Gamble!?
09!. Blame
Example: "It's Your Fault We're In Debt"!.
If You See Yourself As Externally Controlled, You See Yourself As Helpless, A Victim Of Fate Or "The System"!. You Don't Believe You Can Really Affect The Basic Shape Of Your Life, Let Alone Make Any Difference In The World, So You Try And Manipulate Others To Take Care Of Your Interests!. Someone Else Is To Blame And Is Responsible For Your Pain, Your Loss, And Your Failure!. The Truth Is That We Are Constantly Making Decisions And Every Decision Affects And Steers Our Lives!. It Is Your Responsibility To Assert Your Needs, To Say No Or Go Elsewhere For What You Want!. In Some Way We Are Responsible For Nearly Everything That Happens To Us, Including Our Distress And Unhappiness!. Taking Responsibility Means Accepting The Consequences Of Your Own Choices!. Ask Yourself: What Choices Have I Made That Resulted In This Situation!? What Decisions Can I Now Make To Change It!?
The Opposite Distortion Is Also Very Common - The Fallacy That Makes You Responsible For The Pain Or Happiness Of Everyone Around You!. You Carry The World On Your Shoulders!. You Have To Right All Wrongs, Fill Every Need And Balm Each Hurt; If You Don't You Feel Guilty And Turn The Blame On Yourself!. Blaming Yourself Means Labeling Yourself Inadequate If Things Go Wrong!. With This Viewpoint You Are Very Easily Manipulated!. The Key To Overcoming This Fallacy Is To Recognize That Each Person Is Responsible For Himself - Taking Responsibility Doesn't Imply That You Are Also Responsible For What Happens To Others!. Remember, Part Of Respecting Others Includes Respecting Their Ability To Overcome Or Accept Their Own Pains, Make Their Own Decisions And Be In Control Of Their Own Lives!.
10!. Unfairness
Example: "It's Not Fair; He Should Take Me Out More Often"!.
The Consideration Of Unfairness Results From Resentment That The Other Person Does Not Want Or Prefer The Same As You, Or That Events Do Not Turn Out In Your Favour!. The Person Gets Locked Into His Or Her Own Point Of View, With A Feeling Of Ever-Growing Resentment!. Be Honest With Yourself And The Other Person!. Say What You Want Or Prefer, Without Getting Involved In The Fallacy Of Unfairness: That People And Situations Shouldn't Be The Way They Are!.
11!. Emotional Reasoning
Example: "I Feel Depressed, Life Must Be Pointless"!.
You Believe That What You Feel Must Be True - Automatically!. If You Feel Stupid Then You Must Lack Intelligence!. If You Feel Guilty Then You Must Have Done Something Wrong!. If You Feel Angry, Someone Must Have Taken Advantage Of You!. However, There Is Nothing Automatically True About What You Feel - Your Feelings Can Lie To You, They Can Be Based On Misconceptions!. If Your Feelings Are Based On Distorted Thoughts, Then They Won't Have Any Validity!. So Be Skeptical About Your Feelings And Examine Them As You Would A Used Car!.
12!. Manipulation
Example: "If We Had Sex More Often, I'd Be More Affectionate"!.
The Only Person You Can Really Control Or Have Much Hope Of Changing Is Yourself!. When You Pressure People To Change, You Are Forcing Them To Be Different For YouWww@Answer-Health@Com
It might take awhile for you to understand some things and there are probably some types of thinking in this list that don't even apply to you!.
Read through them and select the ones that you feel apply to you!. These types of thinking are available on the internet which is to say that they are 'quite viable'!.
Here it goes:
15 TYPES OF DISTORTED THINKING
THOUGHT DISTORTIONS:
? 01!. Tunnel vision
? 02!. Awfulising
? 03!. Black & White Thinking
? 04!. Generalization
? 05!. Assumption
? 06!. Projection
? 07!. Negative Thinking
? 08!. Self-consciousness
? 09!. Blame
? 10!. Unfairness
? 11!. Emotional Reasoning
? 12!. Manipulation
? 13!. Shoulds
? 14!. Got To Be Right
? 15!. Heaven's Reward
THOUGHT DISTORTIONS
01!. Tunnel Vision
Example: "I Expect It'll Be Another Boring Party"!.
It Is Being Stuck In A Mental Groove!. In Particular You Look For That Which Confirms Your Fear Or Prejudice, Remember It From The Past, And Expect It In The Future!. You Ignore Other Points Of View Or The Possibility Of Alternative Solutions!.
02!. Awfulising
Example: "I Can't Bear Going On These Awful Buses"!.
This Attitude Is Saying That It's Unacceptable If Things Aren't As You Would Prefer Them To Be!. You Take The Negative Aspect Of A Situation And Magnify It!. To Handle This, Recognize When You Use Words Like Terrible, Awful, Disgusting, Etc!. In Particularly The Phrase, "I Can't Stand It"!. Examine Their Rationality!.
03!. Black & White Thinking
Example: "You're Either For Me Or Against Me"!.
Things Are Black Or White, Wonderful Or Terrible, A Great Success Or A Total Failure, Brilliantly Clever Or Really Stupid, A Certainty Or A Complete Mystery, Friend Or Enemy, Love Or Hate - There Is No Middle Ground, No Room For Improvement, And No Room For Mistakes!. Judgments On Self And Others Swing From One Emotional Extreme To Another And Are Easily Triggered!. It Is Important To Remember That Human Beings Are Just Too Complex To Be Reduced To Dichotomous Judgments, And That All Qualities Fall Somewhere Along A Continuum, Containing Elements Of Either Extreme!.
04!. Generalization
Example: "I'll Never Be Any Good At Tennis" After One Poor Game!.
In This Distortion You Make A Broad, Generalized Conclusion, Often Couched In The Form Of Absolute Statements, Based On A Single Piece Of Evidence!. If Something Bad Happens Once, You Expect It To Happen Over And Over Again!. If Someone Shows Evidence Of A Negative Trait, This Is Picked Up On And Exaggerated Into A Global Judgment!. This Inevitably Leads To A More And More Restricted Life And Your View Of The World Becomes Stereotyped!. Cue Words That Indicate You May Be Over-Generalizing Are: All, Every, None, Never, Always, Everybody And Nobody!. To Become More Flexible Use Words Such As: May, Sometimes And Often, And Be Particularly Sensitive To Absolute Statements About The Future, Such As "No One Will Ever Love Me", Because They May Become Self-Fulfilling Prophecies!.
05!. Assumption
Example: "Nothing Can Change The Way I Feel"!.
Making An Assumption, Presupposes Knowledge That You Do Not Have!. Assumptions Are Often Popular Beliefs That Have Been Adopted Without Examining Their Basis In Fact, Such As "I'm Over The Hill Now That I'm Forty"!. Making Decisions Based On Assumptions May Lead To Disaster, As When An Executive Assumes That A New Product Will Sell Well, Having Made No Market Research!. Often, Taking Things For Granted Causes People To Be Blind To Possible Solutions - Assuming No-One Can Help Them, A Couple's Marriage May Go On The Rocks, When They Could Seek Counseling!. Question: What Leads You To Believe This!? Why Do It This Way!? Who Says!? What Alternatives Are There!? What Would Happen If You Did!? What Would Happen If You Didn't!?
As A Practical Matter, All Of Us Must Proceed With The Business Of Living By Relying On "Maps" Of The World Which We Have Taken On Trust And Which We Have Not Tested And Often Cannot Test!. To Supplement Personal Experience, We Absorb A Constant Stream Of Reports, Descriptions, Judgments, Inferences And Assumptions Coming From A Multitude Of Sources!. From This Abundance Of Stored Information, You Piece Together A Mental "Model" Of The World And Its Workings That Literally Becomes Your World View!. However, People Do Vary Considerably In The Extent Of Their Misinformation And In The Degree To Which They Actively Seek Out New Information, Take Opportunities To Correct Or Update Their Mental Models, And Expose Themselves To New Experiences!.
06!. Projection
Example: "I Know He Doesn't Like Me"!.
Making False Assumptions About What Other People Think Depends On A Process Called Projection!. It Is Like Mind-Reading - Putting Words Into Peoples' Mouths!. You Imagine That People Feel The Same Way You Do And React To Things The Same Way!. If You Get Angry When Someone Is Late, You Assume That Another Will Feel The Same Way About You Or Others, In That Situation!. If You Don't Like Yourself, You Assume Others Also Think That Way!. The Answer Is Not To Jump To Conclusions About What Other People Think And Feel!.
07!. Negative Thinking
Example: "We Haven't Seen Each Other For Two Days - I Think The Relationship Is Falling Apart"!.
You Read A Newspaper Article About Some Misfortune And Wonder If That Could Happen To You!. Predicting Negative Consequences Is A Defense, To Protect Oneself From Disappointment By Expecting The Worst!. Consider, What Are The Realistic Odds Of That Happening!?
08!. Self-Consciousness
Example: "Quite A Few People Here Seem Smarter Than I Am"!.
This Is The Introverted Tendency To Relate Everything Around You To Yourself, To Think People Must Be Judging You, Or To Think That Everything They Do Or Say Is A Reaction To Something About You!. It Is The Habit Of Continually Comparing Yourself To Other People, Based On The Underlying Assumption Is That Your Worth Is Questionable!. You Are Therefore Continually Forced To Test Your Value As A Person By Measuring Yourself Against Others!. If You Come Out Better You Have A Moment's Relief; If You Come Up Short, You Feel Diminished!. Your Worth Doesn't Depend On Being Better Than Others, So Why Start The Comparison Gamble!?
09!. Blame
Example: "It's Your Fault We're In Debt"!.
If You See Yourself As Externally Controlled, You See Yourself As Helpless, A Victim Of Fate Or "The System"!. You Don't Believe You Can Really Affect The Basic Shape Of Your Life, Let Alone Make Any Difference In The World, So You Try And Manipulate Others To Take Care Of Your Interests!. Someone Else Is To Blame And Is Responsible For Your Pain, Your Loss, And Your Failure!. The Truth Is That We Are Constantly Making Decisions And Every Decision Affects And Steers Our Lives!. It Is Your Responsibility To Assert Your Needs, To Say No Or Go Elsewhere For What You Want!. In Some Way We Are Responsible For Nearly Everything That Happens To Us, Including Our Distress And Unhappiness!. Taking Responsibility Means Accepting The Consequences Of Your Own Choices!. Ask Yourself: What Choices Have I Made That Resulted In This Situation!? What Decisions Can I Now Make To Change It!?
The Opposite Distortion Is Also Very Common - The Fallacy That Makes You Responsible For The Pain Or Happiness Of Everyone Around You!. You Carry The World On Your Shoulders!. You Have To Right All Wrongs, Fill Every Need And Balm Each Hurt; If You Don't You Feel Guilty And Turn The Blame On Yourself!. Blaming Yourself Means Labeling Yourself Inadequate If Things Go Wrong!. With This Viewpoint You Are Very Easily Manipulated!. The Key To Overcoming This Fallacy Is To Recognize That Each Person Is Responsible For Himself - Taking Responsibility Doesn't Imply That You Are Also Responsible For What Happens To Others!. Remember, Part Of Respecting Others Includes Respecting Their Ability To Overcome Or Accept Their Own Pains, Make Their Own Decisions And Be In Control Of Their Own Lives!.
10!. Unfairness
Example: "It's Not Fair; He Should Take Me Out More Often"!.
The Consideration Of Unfairness Results From Resentment That The Other Person Does Not Want Or Prefer The Same As You, Or That Events Do Not Turn Out In Your Favour!. The Person Gets Locked Into His Or Her Own Point Of View, With A Feeling Of Ever-Growing Resentment!. Be Honest With Yourself And The Other Person!. Say What You Want Or Prefer, Without Getting Involved In The Fallacy Of Unfairness: That People And Situations Shouldn't Be The Way They Are!.
11!. Emotional Reasoning
Example: "I Feel Depressed, Life Must Be Pointless"!.
You Believe That What You Feel Must Be True - Automatically!. If You Feel Stupid Then You Must Lack Intelligence!. If You Feel Guilty Then You Must Have Done Something Wrong!. If You Feel Angry, Someone Must Have Taken Advantage Of You!. However, There Is Nothing Automatically True About What You Feel - Your Feelings Can Lie To You, They Can Be Based On Misconceptions!. If Your Feelings Are Based On Distorted Thoughts, Then They Won't Have Any Validity!. So Be Skeptical About Your Feelings And Examine Them As You Would A Used Car!.
12!. Manipulation
Example: "If We Had Sex More Often, I'd Be More Affectionate"!.
The Only Person You Can Really Control Or Have Much Hope Of Changing Is Yourself!. When You Pressure People To Change, You Are Forcing Them To Be Different For YouWww@Answer-Health@Com
One of the symptoms of depression is worrying about the past or dwelling on the past!. Also, things bothering easily is another one (ie!. things that normally would roll off most people's backs but you are unable to let go) !. If it is making it hard for you to function in daily life or just in being happy, I think you should get a medical opinion about your symptoms!. They can help you to feel better!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know what you mean!. You might have ocd - like the obsessive part, where you obsess over everything!. Especially analyzing your day and conversations - - making sure that you didn't say or do anything wrong!.
Here's what you do:
think to yourself : "What is the worst feeling the other person could have!.!.!. could they EVER forgive me!?"
chances are - they will forgive you!.!.!. if they even remember what you are obsessing over ( i know because i do this too)
so!.!.!. they will forgive you!. that is established!.
Now, write yourself a note reminding you to ask the person to forgive you the next day!. Seriously!. I know it sounds weird, but obsessing over mundane things is even more weird!.
Ask them!. Then you can sleep that night!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Here's what you do:
think to yourself : "What is the worst feeling the other person could have!.!.!. could they EVER forgive me!?"
chances are - they will forgive you!.!.!. if they even remember what you are obsessing over ( i know because i do this too)
so!.!.!. they will forgive you!. that is established!.
Now, write yourself a note reminding you to ask the person to forgive you the next day!. Seriously!. I know it sounds weird, but obsessing over mundane things is even more weird!.
Ask them!. Then you can sleep that night!.Www@Answer-Health@Com