How can I get over insecurity and shyness?!
Question: How can I get over insecurity and shyness!?
I know I am insecure and don't have enough confidence, but I need to know how to get over it!. I'm even shy with my relatives!. The only people I am confident with are the people I live with!. I don't know if I can ever form a decent relationship like that!. I was shy from 1st grade on, though I do remember some things that had happened that showed I was not as shy as I am now!. I guess it's gotten worse!. I cannot laugh in school and can barely smile because I feel like people are staring at me and are going to think bad things about me!. If someone says hi I atleast try to say hey in reply, but it comes out small!. If someone compliments me I'll just say thank you and go on!. I don't want people to think I don't like them either!. I don't raise my hand to answer questions in class because I think I may get it wrong or something!. I just always feel looked at and like people are thinking bad things about me even if I tell myself that it seems a bit selfloving to think everyone's thnking about meWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Have we met!? I swear you described me almost to a T!. At least the old me, that is!. I used to cringe every time someone wanted me to contribute in class or every time someone I was not previously acquainted with wanted to talk to me!.
I don't mean to be simplistic, but honestly you just gotta get yourself out there!. I started by giving strangers compliments!. I might see a girl with cute shoes and tell her she has cute shoes!. The comment never ended in her looking me up and down and then laughing at me with her friends like I might have envisioned it happening!.
The other thing I had to do was imagine myself in my mind's eye being more social and outgoing, and even telling myself I'm liked by everyone I meet (which is not always going to be true, but it NEVER will be if you tell yourself the opposite)!. If you picture yourself in situations where you're having a casual, easy going conversation, it will feel more natural when it really happens!.
At one point, I just had to remind myself that I am in fact different from everyone else!. I certainly don't mind other people's differences, so why would I assume they would mind mine!? As long as I was not being offensive, rude, apathetic, or so on, I didn't have to worry about what I said, because it's always easiest to just be myself instead of who I think other people want me to be!.
Don't be a wallflower! The world has plenty of them!. We want to see the real you, and I bet we will love you! ;)Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't mean to be simplistic, but honestly you just gotta get yourself out there!. I started by giving strangers compliments!. I might see a girl with cute shoes and tell her she has cute shoes!. The comment never ended in her looking me up and down and then laughing at me with her friends like I might have envisioned it happening!.
The other thing I had to do was imagine myself in my mind's eye being more social and outgoing, and even telling myself I'm liked by everyone I meet (which is not always going to be true, but it NEVER will be if you tell yourself the opposite)!. If you picture yourself in situations where you're having a casual, easy going conversation, it will feel more natural when it really happens!.
At one point, I just had to remind myself that I am in fact different from everyone else!. I certainly don't mind other people's differences, so why would I assume they would mind mine!? As long as I was not being offensive, rude, apathetic, or so on, I didn't have to worry about what I said, because it's always easiest to just be myself instead of who I think other people want me to be!.
Don't be a wallflower! The world has plenty of them!. We want to see the real you, and I bet we will love you! ;)Www@Answer-Health@Com
in Bootcamp there were obstacle everywhere, my Drill Instructor solution was GET OVER IT !!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
you only live once!.!.!. have fun!Www@Answer-Health@Com
You could see a psychologist and try to work it out, but if you are looking for something easier the only advice I could give would be to be yourself!. I use to be a lot like you, but I've overcome it!. The way I did it was by realizing that it didn't matter what others think of me because the people that love me in life are going to be there for me no matter what!. So think of it this way, you are afraid to talk to someone because you think they will judge you, well even if they did and it was negative, its not like they loved you in the first place so who cares!. Also realize this, when you are shy and you don't say things to people they usually take it harshly, like you are stuck up or something!. I got that alllll of the time!. By not talking to them it was easier for them to judge me and think I was a mean person, but when I did open up to people they realized that thats not how I am!. You just have to be fearless and realize that even if you do something embarrassing, or someone doesn't like you--- atleast you tried, and you know that you always will have the people around in your life that truly love you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Without knowing your age, it may be hard to give a really helpful answer!. Adolescents are typically either very introverted or very extroverted!. You sound like an introvert - shy, calm, directing inward!. This is not a bad personality trait, especially since you know it exists in you!. What I would suggest is asking a few of those peole that you are comfortable with to do some role play with you and help you work out good opening lines to begin talking to schoolmates, also just practice with you at home on how to respond and initiate social situations!. Some people are just wired shy and it is okay!. As long as you at least make an effort to respond to people when you are spoken to and sometimes smile back (or even first!!) people will not think you are rude or mean - they will just know you are a bit shy!.
Take care!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Take care!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well it would help to get to the root of the problem!. This 99% of the time means you have gone through some sort or sorts of traumatic events in your childhood, which have been shown to have a direct correlation as you grow older!. You must acknowledge those times, and move on!. You are who you want to be!. You can be anybody you want!. Until you aren't afraid of being yourself, you're always going to be insecure and shy!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You know what seriously helps!? Getting involved with a sport!. You see the same people everyday and you learn how to communicate with them through teamwork!. Wearing a team jersey can also give you a tremendous dose of confidence!. I don't know if you are the sporty type, but try it!. It helped me out a lot, even though I pretty much suck at volleyball!.
I think the key is to find something that you are really good at and can do well, and it will help you with your self esteem and how you see yourself!. Do something you normally wouldn't do!. My mentor once told me to "Do it afraid!."Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think the key is to find something that you are really good at and can do well, and it will help you with your self esteem and how you see yourself!. Do something you normally wouldn't do!. My mentor once told me to "Do it afraid!."Www@Answer-Health@Com
yes ma i know how u feel i used to be like that the way to make that ice brake is to make a small conversation with someone u hardly talk to!. It will lift u up!. Socialize with others, don't be afraid to express yourself! be who u r!. enjoy a nice walk and talk with others by just making a small comment about the weather or something!. Little by little this ice will melt have faith honey i know u can do it!. i was like that until i started with small positive comments and i also got a part time to see if that helps and it did a lot!. take care a good luck! GOD BLESSWww@Answer-Health@Com
primarily it is the impact where you have grown up!.the foundation in the early age made you so!.you seems to have inferiority complex!. to overcome this weakness you better resort to yoga and martial art which will built up self confidence, couraga and make you perfectWww@Answer-Health@Com
Pax tecum!. Practise speaking in a slightly louder voice ( C U M - M A G N A - V O C E ! ) in front of a mirror, with a genuine smile, using your eyes, as well as your mouth!. See social anxiety/shyness, and self confidence, in sections 9, and 38, at http://www!.ezy-build!.net!.nz/~shaneris Here is an exercise that can help you!. It is called "Act as If!." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing!. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone!. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior!.
Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior!. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy!. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit!.
Try this for a month, in every situation you can!. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing!. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave!. People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot"!. But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy)!. Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally!. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often!. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me"!.
Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind!.
Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication!. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger!. Rewind your mistakes!. Let's say you want to change an annoying laugh that you have, when you hear something funny, your old laugh will come out!. You have to immediately think of what you wanted to happen, (i!.e!. your new, practiced laugh) and then do it immediately!. It will be a little bit late, but slowly you will start to pair the two together, and eventually your brain will become conditioned to switch the first for the second!. It usually takes 30 - 40 repetitions, to instill a new habit, with most people, so I estimate a similar amount, in the reprogramming process!. Use what you can, from this: Practise one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed!. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you !. Section 53, and pages 2, 2!.q and 2!.o at ezy-build also refer!. "Even though I sometimes have low self esteem/confidence, I deeply and completely accept myself"!. ~~~
1!. Build up your self-esteem!. You must take an inventory!. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others!? Try to make only one change at a time!. Always check you progress before making another change!.
2!. Celebrate your journey, not your destination!. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow!.
3!. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction!. Know what you want!. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals!. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly!. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference!.
4!. Be proactive!. Take the initiative!. Be decisive!. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you!. Proactive people tend to be more successful in their career!.
5!. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important!. (You'll be amazed how this works!.)
6!. Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye!. Practice both of these!. Your handshake should be just right!. Not too firm and not too loose!. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person!.
7!. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills!. Learn a way to remember the other person's name!. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation!. [ AND MINE: USE THEIR NAME FOR A WHILE, OFTEN, AT FIRST, SO IT HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF MAKING THE TRANSITION FROM SHORT TERM, TO LONG TERM MEMORY!. FOR EXAMPLE: "What sort of things are you interested in, Obediah!? I like archery, and train spotting, but am no longer combining the two!." next: "I'm from Upper Volta, Obediah, Where are you from, originally!?" READ SECTION 41, AT EZY BUILD, FOR MORE MEMORY TIPS!.]
8!. Visibly respond to the other person!. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name!. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond!. The body language is the most important part of a conversation!. Practice, practice, practice
Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior!. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy!. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit!.
Try this for a month, in every situation you can!. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing!. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave!. People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot"!. But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy)!. Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally!. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often!. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me"!.
Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind!.
Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication!. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger!. Rewind your mistakes!. Let's say you want to change an annoying laugh that you have, when you hear something funny, your old laugh will come out!. You have to immediately think of what you wanted to happen, (i!.e!. your new, practiced laugh) and then do it immediately!. It will be a little bit late, but slowly you will start to pair the two together, and eventually your brain will become conditioned to switch the first for the second!. It usually takes 30 - 40 repetitions, to instill a new habit, with most people, so I estimate a similar amount, in the reprogramming process!. Use what you can, from this: Practise one of the relaxation methods on pages 2, 11, 2c, or 2i, daily, and when needed!. Also, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you !. Section 53, and pages 2, 2!.q and 2!.o at ezy-build also refer!. "Even though I sometimes have low self esteem/confidence, I deeply and completely accept myself"!. ~~~
1!. Build up your self-esteem!. You must take an inventory!. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others!? Try to make only one change at a time!. Always check you progress before making another change!.
2!. Celebrate your journey, not your destination!. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow!.
3!. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction!. Know what you want!. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals!. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly!. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference!.
4!. Be proactive!. Take the initiative!. Be decisive!. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you!. Proactive people tend to be more successful in their career!.
5!. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important!. (You'll be amazed how this works!.)
6!. Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye!. Practice both of these!. Your handshake should be just right!. Not too firm and not too loose!. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person!.
7!. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills!. Learn a way to remember the other person's name!. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation!. [ AND MINE: USE THEIR NAME FOR A WHILE, OFTEN, AT FIRST, SO IT HAS A BETTER CHANCE OF MAKING THE TRANSITION FROM SHORT TERM, TO LONG TERM MEMORY!. FOR EXAMPLE: "What sort of things are you interested in, Obediah!? I like archery, and train spotting, but am no longer combining the two!." next: "I'm from Upper Volta, Obediah, Where are you from, originally!?" READ SECTION 41, AT EZY BUILD, FOR MORE MEMORY TIPS!.]
8!. Visibly respond to the other person!. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name!. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond!. The body language is the most important part of a conversation!. Practice, practice, practice
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