A friend who I think has gone crazy?!
Question: A friend who I think has gone crazy!?
I have a friend who has an alcholic mother which has made her life I think horrible growing up!. She has inherited her mother's harshness in dealing with relationships from her husband to her friends!. She can blurt things that are so hurtful and sensitive to others without thought and with such ease!. I tried to tell her what she has done to me specifically because it hurt very much and she lashed out at me saying that I am depressed, need hospitalization and more horrific things!. What is this!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
One of the most common elements in alcoholic families is denial!. The alcoholic denies that they have a problem, family members deny that the alcoholic is alcoholic, the kids deny that there is a problem!. All of this denial, and everyone in the family grows up and takes it with them into their own families!.
I've been in this field for nearly 3 decades and I've seen denial that was jaw-dropping!. I once did a home visit and found the father unconscious, passed-out on the front steps of the house!. My client (age 12) opened the front door and invited me inside (I had to step over the drunk father) while telling me that, "Daddy decided to camp outside tonight!." That's right!. He was camping, not passed out!. That's how denial helps you cope and stay sane!.
But once you're an adult it's important to see things for what they are!. Your friend is verbally abusive!. She denies this, then blames you for being the one with the problem!. Pretty much how her alcoholic family worked, right!?
Honest, accurate feedback would help, but there is no guaruntee that it will change things!. If you want to give her feedback you might be able to do this when she says something harsh and hurtful to a friend!. You can be light about it and say something right in the moment like, "Ouch!" Or you can wait until later and say, "I think you hurt Sarah's feelings when you told her she was a bad mother!." Or, "I know you were trying to be funny, but I think you hurt her feelings when you said!.!.!."
The bottom line is, this isn't going to change until she is aware of what she is doing and ready to make a change!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I've been in this field for nearly 3 decades and I've seen denial that was jaw-dropping!. I once did a home visit and found the father unconscious, passed-out on the front steps of the house!. My client (age 12) opened the front door and invited me inside (I had to step over the drunk father) while telling me that, "Daddy decided to camp outside tonight!." That's right!. He was camping, not passed out!. That's how denial helps you cope and stay sane!.
But once you're an adult it's important to see things for what they are!. Your friend is verbally abusive!. She denies this, then blames you for being the one with the problem!. Pretty much how her alcoholic family worked, right!?
Honest, accurate feedback would help, but there is no guaruntee that it will change things!. If you want to give her feedback you might be able to do this when she says something harsh and hurtful to a friend!. You can be light about it and say something right in the moment like, "Ouch!" Or you can wait until later and say, "I think you hurt Sarah's feelings when you told her she was a bad mother!." Or, "I know you were trying to be funny, but I think you hurt her feelings when you said!.!.!."
The bottom line is, this isn't going to change until she is aware of what she is doing and ready to make a change!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm NOT trained in mental health but isn't it true people who had a alcholic parent are more likely to become an alcholic!? Maybe your friend has picked up drinking!.!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
she is feeling defensive because you think she is crazy
you seem to be very opinionated and judgmentalWww@Answer-Health@Com
you seem to be very opinionated and judgmentalWww@Answer-Health@Com
i dont think your friend has gone crazy!. more or less maybe she has a personality disorder but i am not sure of that yet since i havent met and observed her behavior directly!.
she is unaware of her condition and most likely remain in that state for a while!. for people like this most of the time it is up to them to decide when and how they would change!.
hope i helped!. even if just a little bit!. :)Www@Answer-Health@Com
she is unaware of her condition and most likely remain in that state for a while!. for people like this most of the time it is up to them to decide when and how they would change!.
hope i helped!. even if just a little bit!. :)Www@Answer-Health@Com