Horrible childhood haunts me still?!
Question: Horrible childhood haunts me still!?
From the age of 9 til about 19 i was horribly abuse physically and verbally!. I was always hit for things that were not my fault!. I have an older and a younger siblling but they were never abused!. I was constanly rediculed and told I was fat and ugly!. I remember being terrified of my mother!. My mom apologized when I got older but till this day I am still affected by her torment and abuse!. I find that it affects my daily life at work, while always being nervous around managers or people with more authority!. My self esteem is totally messed up and I know that my past has hindered me in many ways!. I just don't know how to get through this and move forward!. Not only has it affected my work life but it has also affected my marriage and my choice to marry a man that I settled for, for fear that I was not good enough for anyone else to marry me!. I feel miserable daily and have no motivation or drive- mostly because my self esteem prohibits me from attempting anything new!. suggestions!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I had a bad childhood, too!. It helped me A LOT to make sure I did everything 'different' and in doing so I felt that I was undoing what happened to me!. Maybe this would work for you!. Work hard NOT to repeat in any way the unfair treatment which your received, and I think it will help your self esteem a lot!. Be a great person and a loving and fair person, and that is how to overcome the injustice done to you!. Truly care about others, and their feelings, but do not allow others to abuse you!. Steer clear of those who might abuse you, whenever possible!. I know that might be the hardest part, but try!. People that were abused sometimes let it continue, but it is best if there would come a time when you say!.!.!.!.!.no, I will not accept this, and if you are fair and just and have good motivations you will feel that it is your right to stick up for yourself!. Be smart and alert and protect your interests, but do it with *kind* assertiveness!. If you have children undo everything that was done to you by being always vigilent about fairness and understanding!. It is turning bad into good if one is strong in undoing what was done to them by not doing it themselves!. SolaWww@Answer-Health@Com
There is a book called "You Can Be Happy No Matter What" by Richard Carlson!. I read it in one day!. It was truly a God send!. Amazon it and read it asap!. It puts life into perspective and helps you to deal with issues from the past!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Spend some time with a skilled therapist!. There's a lot to undo, and trying to do it on your own is next to impossible!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Please get counseling if you can, or a support group if you can't afford counseling! Just talking about this either one-on-one or in a group works wonders!.
I know how you feel, my self-esteem has been horrible too!. I settled for less than I should have in a marriage not just once, but 3 times!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know how you feel, my self-esteem has been horrible too!. I settled for less than I should have in a marriage not just once, but 3 times!Www@Answer-Health@Com
It sounds like you have a good handle on your problem!. The next step is to "move on!."
The obvious next thing I should say is "get counseling!." But only if you get help from someone who will not hold you back!. You must move forward!
With your background and your introspection, you would make a great volunteer to help others!. Get involved at a shelter for families in crisis or any other area that appeals to you -- animals, children, homeless, etc!.
I suffered no abuse as a child, and yet am intimidated by people with authority!. That is not unusual!.
If you focus on helping someone, I think your self-esteem problems will go away!.
Good luck & God bless you!Www@Answer-Health@Com
The obvious next thing I should say is "get counseling!." But only if you get help from someone who will not hold you back!. You must move forward!
With your background and your introspection, you would make a great volunteer to help others!. Get involved at a shelter for families in crisis or any other area that appeals to you -- animals, children, homeless, etc!.
I suffered no abuse as a child, and yet am intimidated by people with authority!. That is not unusual!.
If you focus on helping someone, I think your self-esteem problems will go away!.
Good luck & God bless you!Www@Answer-Health@Com
This is almost my story and it took me many years and much therapy to get my self esteem back and to know that it wasn't my fault!. My Mom was the most abusive , physically and emotionally but my Dad was emotionally abusive and I wound up marrying the same kind of man!. I have been divorced since 1990 and am 59 years old!. It has taken me many years to get over this and now both of my parents are gone and I never got to hear that they loved me!. I began to learn how to let go in therapy and give myself permission to let go of the guilt, as it will eat you alive and you will make bad choices in life!. Unless we learn how to get our self esteem back, we will always go to someone who will be similar because it is all we know !. We must find our way and love ourselves before others can love us in a healthy way!. I was also sexually abused by a minister and two different men after that!. (raped)!. I never forget, but I do know that it was NOT my fault!. I have learned through therapy and hard work on myself, that I am worthy and am a good person!. I try to stay around positive people and will not tolerate any abuse now!. It has set me free from that cycle!. Take back that control, as no one needs or should be controlled like that!. It keeps us ill!. Get therapy to take your power back and gain self esteem!. Then you will look at things differently and begin to know yourself and what you want out of life!. In order to move ahead, you need to let go of the past!. If not, you will remain in the same pattern and making the wrong choices!. Refuse to be abused anymore!. It's too bad that I didn't get an apology from my Mom or Dad but I have forgiven them and still love them because they weren't shown love growing up either and came from broken homes!. I realized they too didn't know how to love and that alone made me realize that it wasn't their fault either!. So I accepted that, went into therapy , forgave myself, gained self esteem, learned to love myself and be around positive people!. I have vowed and have kept that vow, to NEVER be in an abusive situation again or have someone control me!. It has set me free and I feel so much better!. I wish this healing for you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well your case seems very hard and sensitive to deal with, my only suggestion is for u to see a therapist!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Your childhood sounds exactly like mine was!. You should go into therapy to deal with the past!. You need to stop living in the past and start living in the present!. You can't change the past so why dwell on it!? Because of how my mom treated me she is no longer in my life!. It's hard to forgive her for how she treated me!. I had no self esteem growing up but now I do!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
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