Is it *better* for *mental health* to be an honest person or a liar?!
Question: Is it *better* for *mental health* to be an honest person or a liar!?
This is a serious question I have, and it relates to my experiences where I have realized that almost everyone lies and they lie all the time if it is to their advantage!. They lie but people like them anyway, and people don't care if others lie, and they expect it, I guess!. Liars even are the ones that reach levels of power in the community!. The second part of my question is, what is going to happen to an honest person that tries to participate in that world openly and HONESTLY!? Is an honest person or one who *expects honesty* abnormal, mentally!? Are they doomed to failure!. How should they cope with the situation!? Just some added questions!. Feel free to give me your insights, experiences, and suggestions for dealing with it, and especially your comment on the main question!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
What do you consider an 'unacceptable' minor lie!?
What do you consider an important, yet 'minor' honesty!?
Telling someone her/his new hairdo looks fine may be a lie I consider the compassionate thing whereas telling her/him that I think it looks horrible an honest yet mean spirited act!.
There is a lot of gray between 'right and wrong!.'
Personally, it's better to focus on the outcome and consequence providing that some weight is given to the individual steps taken along the way!. The ends does not completely justify the means, but the means alone does not always get you to the desired end, either!.
Most ppl who rise to power have a looser definition of lying, and are willing to lie to a certain degree, or at least that has been my experience/belief!. Most ppl who live with doe eyed honesty get trampled along the way!. Niether extreme is healthy in my opinion!. Living honestly is hugely important, however, "honesty" can be defined to such an extreme that it is not healthy!. 'Brutal honesty,' for example, is saying absolutely every thought one has no matter how mean!. That's not constructive!. Same thing when sharing every inner thought when asked!. It's easy for other less honest ppl to take advantage of that person!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
What do you consider an important, yet 'minor' honesty!?
Telling someone her/his new hairdo looks fine may be a lie I consider the compassionate thing whereas telling her/him that I think it looks horrible an honest yet mean spirited act!.
There is a lot of gray between 'right and wrong!.'
Personally, it's better to focus on the outcome and consequence providing that some weight is given to the individual steps taken along the way!. The ends does not completely justify the means, but the means alone does not always get you to the desired end, either!.
Most ppl who rise to power have a looser definition of lying, and are willing to lie to a certain degree, or at least that has been my experience/belief!. Most ppl who live with doe eyed honesty get trampled along the way!. Niether extreme is healthy in my opinion!. Living honestly is hugely important, however, "honesty" can be defined to such an extreme that it is not healthy!. 'Brutal honesty,' for example, is saying absolutely every thought one has no matter how mean!. That's not constructive!. Same thing when sharing every inner thought when asked!. It's easy for other less honest ppl to take advantage of that person!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I believe that I am an honest person, with an honest husband, and two honest grown sons!. The only problem we have encountered is : Honest people expect other people to be honest with them!.
I believe it really messes with your brain, to be a liar!. Soon, a person can't tell the truth from a lie!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.when that person TELLs 'it'! Respecting people is the greatest reason I have for teaching honesty!. It did not harm my ability to go far in my career, nor my husbands, nor my sons!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I believe it really messes with your brain, to be a liar!. Soon, a person can't tell the truth from a lie!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.when that person TELLs 'it'! Respecting people is the greatest reason I have for teaching honesty!. It did not harm my ability to go far in my career, nor my husbands, nor my sons!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
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Well!.!.!.!. to have any hope of knowing the truth, you have to be honest!.
And you must trust people, or you'll create liars!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
And you must trust people, or you'll create liars!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
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There is a difference between lies, exaggerations and white lies!.
A white lie is a socially acceptable way of not hurting someone's feelings!. That whole, "Do these pants make my butt look big!?" situation!. There are ways to be honest, and there are ways to be tactful that might only be about 95% honest!.
Then there is exaggeration!. That is also a lie, but most people understand that an exaggeration is for effect or humor and while not 100% accurate, it's OK!. "If I keep eating this ice cream I'm going to weigh a ton!."
Then there is lying as in the "weapons of mass destruction" lying, and that is never OK!. I think the world still values honesty, even when it is hard and unpopular!.
As a psychotherapist for the past 26 years I can tell you that a large percentage of my business is helping people get out of lies they've told, or get themselves straightened out when they've told so many lies they aren't sure what is real or true anymore!.
It's easier to not lie, easier to not have to remember what was told to who and easier to keep the facts straight when you actually stick to the facts!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
A white lie is a socially acceptable way of not hurting someone's feelings!. That whole, "Do these pants make my butt look big!?" situation!. There are ways to be honest, and there are ways to be tactful that might only be about 95% honest!.
Then there is exaggeration!. That is also a lie, but most people understand that an exaggeration is for effect or humor and while not 100% accurate, it's OK!. "If I keep eating this ice cream I'm going to weigh a ton!."
Then there is lying as in the "weapons of mass destruction" lying, and that is never OK!. I think the world still values honesty, even when it is hard and unpopular!.
As a psychotherapist for the past 26 years I can tell you that a large percentage of my business is helping people get out of lies they've told, or get themselves straightened out when they've told so many lies they aren't sure what is real or true anymore!.
It's easier to not lie, easier to not have to remember what was told to who and easier to keep the facts straight when you actually stick to the facts!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
For your own mental health, it isn't good to go against your conscience!. Doing things you feel are wrong hurts your self-esteem and leads to guilt, which causes stress, and that can wear down your mental functioning!.
I think the world still values honesty, (there are even laws about ethics in many professions, such as law and stock trading), but that honesty must be combined with respect, consideration!. There are a lot of people who call themselves "honest" who are using honesty as an excuse for thoughtlessness or outright cruelty!. For example, if someone's boss gave her a proposal including grammar errors and asked "so what do you think of this proposal", saying "you don't have the slightest idea how use the English language" would be honest, but not helpful!. A better approach would be "the idea is great, I like your suggestions about A, B, and C, but I think we should have this proof-read before we send it out!. I know I often make spelling errors I don't see!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think the world still values honesty, (there are even laws about ethics in many professions, such as law and stock trading), but that honesty must be combined with respect, consideration!. There are a lot of people who call themselves "honest" who are using honesty as an excuse for thoughtlessness or outright cruelty!. For example, if someone's boss gave her a proposal including grammar errors and asked "so what do you think of this proposal", saying "you don't have the slightest idea how use the English language" would be honest, but not helpful!. A better approach would be "the idea is great, I like your suggestions about A, B, and C, but I think we should have this proof-read before we send it out!. I know I often make spelling errors I don't see!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
This is a very interesting question!. But more importantly, is it addressing people individually, or people as a society, or as a group!. Is it addressing strangers or people you would meet at a cash register, or is it addressing relatives and friends!? Corporate smiles are lies, yet we encounter them everyday!. "Have a nice day" is often a habitual lie that falls fromt the tongues of sales people, is it sincere!? When a child asks their parent if the picture they spent two hours on is nice, and it is in reality, a lot of scribbling, does the busy parent give a sincere answer!? Of course they can if they wanted to!. It would be an opportunity to teach the child how to do better!. But do all parents do this!? Do they even have the time!?
When a friend is going through a rough time, and has an exam coming up, and you just saw her boyfriend kissing another girl in the hall, and she is ready to go take the test, do you tell her right then and there what happened!? Is it not better to wait, less she fail her exam!? This is considered deception though!. Honesty, believe it or not, is not a cut and dry situation, or simple in any way!. There are many different reasons why people lie!. Some of them are good, some are bad!. People say they feel "fine" all the time!. So often they are lying!. When the lady in a clothing store or the boss who's interviewing you quickly asks how your day is, are you going to tell them "horrible"!? Of course not!. You would be obligating them to ask why, and of course you would end up telling them, thus rudely taking up their time!. The whole fabricated routine of ettiquete and politeness is a lie!. Why did we have to create it!? Think about it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
When a friend is going through a rough time, and has an exam coming up, and you just saw her boyfriend kissing another girl in the hall, and she is ready to go take the test, do you tell her right then and there what happened!? Is it not better to wait, less she fail her exam!? This is considered deception though!. Honesty, believe it or not, is not a cut and dry situation, or simple in any way!. There are many different reasons why people lie!. Some of them are good, some are bad!. People say they feel "fine" all the time!. So often they are lying!. When the lady in a clothing store or the boss who's interviewing you quickly asks how your day is, are you going to tell them "horrible"!? Of course not!. You would be obligating them to ask why, and of course you would end up telling them, thus rudely taking up their time!. The whole fabricated routine of ettiquete and politeness is a lie!. Why did we have to create it!? Think about it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com