Is it okay to still be sad about a grandparent's death four months later?!


Question: Is it okay to still be sad about a grandparent's death four months later!?
My grandma died four months ago!. We weren't extremely close, but her death hit me really hard!. She had dementia (it's like Alzheimer's) and, in the last two years of her life, did not recognize me or understand who I was!. When she died, I think I took it the hardest out of my whole family - they all expected her death!. I found out and then less than 36 hours later, I was at her funeral!. During her funeral I cried SO hard!. I was shaking so much I couldn't breathe!. Then, after a few really hard weeks (about six weeks) I thought I was okay!.

Recently, my school gave a presentation about loss!. I ended up crying in school!. My friends tried to get me through it!.!.!. but recently, I've been thinking a LOT about my grandma!. I feel really guilty that I didn't love her more while she was alive, and mad at myself!. I cried thinking about all this last night!.

Is this normal!? How can I work through this!? I've already talked to my guidance counselor!.Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
You are just normal Hannah; you are feeling guilty for not spending more time with her but please stop this or it will eat you up--emotionally!. Keep those few moments you spent with her deep in your heart and laugh when it is okay to do so--like when she gave you something or said something that made you laugh and it is okay to cry!. I lost my grandma and yes it is still fresh in my memories-- I don't have many memories because I as too young to remember much; I was 7 years old!. You will cry because you are human otherwise you would not be so let go!. if you could I am sure you would spend more time with her and love her so much and hug her tighter; most of us neglect our grandparents and then we feel downhearted because "I should have done_____" but this is not possible so just keep her in your memories and in this you will always keep her alive!. Try to take flowers to where she lays and just live!.
I sometimes recommend for some that are going through this to write a letter and tell her what you would if you could (you will probably cry) and tie it to a helium filled balloon and let it go (as a symbol of you saying here grandma enjoy this)!. !.Www@Answer-Health@Com

You should look into speaking to a psychiatrist!. Although grief is a normal emotional process and can last up to a year (medically) without being suspect, certain signs may point to a more serious condition!. These include hallucinations (hearing or seeing the deceased), guilt, thoughts of suicide, etc!. Talking to friends and family helps, but sometimes it takes a stranger to assist in the healing process!. A trained professional such as a psychiatrist specializes in such issues!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

It's definitely normal!
When my grandma died, it took a long time for me to get over it!.
(She was the last one alive, she did not have a good end in life, etc!.)
Don't worry, eventually you will accept it and get over the pain!.
Happens to everyone, and everyone gets over it at different times depending on the situation!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I'm sorry for your loss :(

Yes it is normal to still be upset about it!. My mother dies when I was 6 and I'm 21 now, and I still ball my eyes out thinking about her because I miss her so much!. You will be ok, you just have to go on living your life, that is what she would have wanted!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

normal is whats normal for you!.
my grandmother died over five years ago and i still miss her so bad!.
keep talking to your counselor and if they aren't helping talk to someone that helps you!. but keep talking and get your feelings out!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

It's completely normal!. It just takes time!. Don't ignore your feelings, you have to allow yourself to grieve to get through thisWww@Answer-Health@Com

Yes it is normal!. There are processes to grief that each of us must go through on our way to acceptance!. You just haven't gotten there yet!. Try this site: www!.copewithgrieving!.comWww@Answer-Health@Com

Yes it is ok!. My grandfather died almost 7 years ago and 2 family friends died a few years ago and I am still sad/mourning in a way for all of them!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

It is total OK because my cousin died 2 years ago and i cant go a day without crying!. Its something others wouldnt understand!. i know how you feel!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

its really hard to lose someone you love! my grandfather died 7 years ago and sometime I still get sad and sometimes cry a little over it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Totally,
you cared for them so it's natural to feel sad!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Yes it is normal to still be emotional, over a loss of a loved one!. Only time will ease the pain!.!.!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

since you were so close yes i think that is ok and healthy!! just so it isn't obsorbing your life!!Www@Answer-Health@Com

there is no time on griefWww@Answer-Health@Com

It is completely normal for you to still feel sad!. You can get some relief by talking it out, but you can also keep this in mind: Your Grandma is not in that suffering state that she was in when she died!. She would rather you do not burden yourself with guilt over things you cannot change!. It will not bring one drop of good if you remain sad and feel guilty forever!. I think you can start pulling out of the sadness by doing something in the name of your Grandma that is positive!. Maybe she had a hobby you are interested in!? Did she have some food she used to cook and it was a favorite of yours and the family!? (You can practice making it for yourself and the rest of the family) You could volunteer somewhere that she did volunteer work, or even take a walk once in a while just because she enjoyed that!. (if she did) When you figure out the thing you want to do, take comfort and know she would be proud that you are doing it!. The loss of your Grandma will always be sad, but you can find ways to carry on with her memory that will bring new happiness to your life!. She would be so proud to know she is the cause of happiness for you, where it would be sad for her to know you are only staying miserable over her loss!. I sure hope this helps!. Good luck, :)Www@Answer-Health@Com

I'm really sorry for your loss :( Sometimes it helps to think that she is in a better place and that someday you can see her again! I know what you mean about feeling guilty about not appreciating the person enough while they were alive!. My uncle died 6 years ago in the 9/11 crash, and I remember not only being devastated that he was gone, but really upset with myself for not taking advantage of the time we had!. It's always hard to find out that someone has unexpectedly died!.!.!. and it never seems fair!. This sounds silly, but try just sitting in your room and talking to your grandma!. Let her know how you're doing and that you miss her!. I felt silly doing that at first, but it really helps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Its totally normal!.!.!. it just takes some time!. things like this are hard to recover from!.!.!.!. my grandfather died when i was 7 and i didnt know him well because he lived in norway and when we did go and visit i wouldnt get near him!.!.!. my parents said that i was afraid of him!.!.even though he was the sweetest man ever!.!.!. and a year ago i started to think about it and i cried!.!.!.!.!. i dont think it will ever go away it will always be a sad thing and sometimes yyou may look back at it and cry and thats okay!.!.!. you did all you could!.!.!. i think she knew you loved her and that always makes grandparents feel better!.!.!.

i hope you get through this alright and i hope this helps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Please don't worry!.!.!.it's very normal to feel sad about the loss of your grandmother!. I'm sure you can remember the times she and you spent together in a happier situation!. Try to focus on the good times spent perhaps baking cookies, talking one-to-one, or just sitting together quietly!. I know your grandmother would not want you to be sad, and would love to see you get on with living!. My Grandmother died about 7 years ago, and I still grieve!. The pain of your loss will slowly diminish, I promise!. Love and laughter will help!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I went through a similar thing and i think it is ok to feel that way!. My grandmother died and i felt the same way, i was upset at first and then i thought i was ok and a few months later started to feel guilty for not putting in the effort when she was alive!. I know you're upset and it's hard to understand this but you have to remember the good memories you have of her, many people say not to dwell on the actual passing of the person but to linger on the memories and good things in her life, i hope this helps you, good luck&god bless!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

This is absolutely normal, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!. People grieve in many different ways, and the grieving period is different for all people!.

My mom and dad died MANY years ago, and occasionally something will happen that will trigger my being sad!. It's normal because you're a human being!.

Try to think about the good things that happened while she was alive!. We've all got a finite time on Earth, and there are too many "could haves" to dwell on!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

This is normal human activity!.Everyone will go through this at some point in their life!. But just don't feel guilty about not loving her more!. You obviously really cared for her and everyone knew it!.She knew that you loved her and cared deeply for her!. To get through something like this,is live life at it's fullest!.You'll miss her from time to time,but this can also be good!.You'll remember the good times you had with her!.After a while,the pain will start to go away,but the memories and good times won't!. Remember everyone goes through this!.Www@Answer-Health@Com





The consumer health information on answer-health.com is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions.
The answer content post by the user, if contains the copyright content please contact us, we will immediately remove it.
Copyright © 2007-2011 answer-health.com -   Terms of Use -   Contact us

Health Categories