What do you do when a mentally challenged adult has a crush on you?!
Question: What do you do when a mentally challenged adult has a crush on you!?
He's 30 years old but mentally only about 12!. He lives next door with his parents!. I met him about a month ago while I was planting a garden in the back yard!. He came over and offered to help!. Now he's here everyday following me around and telling me how pretty I am!. He wants to water my garden and pull the weeds and etc!. I don't want to hurt his feeling but what can I do!? He's beginning to make me very uncomfortable!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
You would react to this situation the same way you would if he were physically 12 as well!. Recognize that he has valid feelings, same as you do, and feel flattered at what is most sincere compliments!. It's natural that he would want to feel helpful, and would enjoy the company of somebody who is kind to him!. In this case, it's you who will set the tone of the relationship!. It's also quite possible, given the mental age, that he actually means nothing sexual at all- it's an innocent girl/boy thing really, more like the crushes you see in children in preschool and nothing more!. If he does something inappropriate, like trying to hug you, you can stop him and explain that you are friends and that's not how you behave!. Explain that he's more like your little brother, and you certainly don't do that with a little brother!. And finally, you can have a quiet word with his parents, to ask for their advice and help!. Some mentally handicapped people are naturally more affectionate than the rest of us are accustomed to, except from young children!. And you are seeing him as the 30 year old, rather than a child, because of his physical size!. Normally, a 30 year old man would set off your alarms, but that's not the case here!. Here you have a child inside a man's body!. So react the same way you would if he were standing there in a 12 year old body!. Because he doesn't have the same motivations as a 30 year old!. Finally, do consider he may simply be lonely, and wants to do whatever he can to keep you as a friend!. He doesn't have the understanding of things to guide him and keep him from overdoing!. Your world is much larger than his, and he may just not have the same opportunities to make friends as you do!. Rather than be repulsed by his crush, you might consider how nice it is to be appreciated and admired by somebody who probably wants nothing more than to be near you and enjoy your friendship!. That's pretty hard to find in life, somebody who loves you just because you are you!. Just have a talk with his parents, and be gentle but firm with the "little brother"!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You need to mention to one of his parents what has happened; they'll probably have had this problem before and if not, they'll probably know how to handle it!.
You shouldn't feel uncomfortable: he's a man, but he's a boy; I understand; you have to talk to his mum or dad; depending on whom you're most comfortable with!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You shouldn't feel uncomfortable: he's a man, but he's a boy; I understand; you have to talk to his mum or dad; depending on whom you're most comfortable with!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You are mean to put this question on here!. I told you before, I am NOT mentally challenged!. I'm just looking for someone to play action figures with!. I thought you might like to join!. So what if I'm 30!? I think maybe it wouldn't be normal if I was still doing it at maybe 40!. I'll pull weeds if you play action figures with me, ok, pretty!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
I WOULD TELL HIM THANK YOU VERY MUCH,
BUT, YOU CAN NOT HAVE HIM OVER TO YOU HOUSE ALL THE TIME HELPING ME!.
BECAUSE, YOUR HOME INSURANCE WON'T ALLOW IT!.!.
YOU TELL HIM, HE IS VERY, VERY, KIND TO WANT TO HELP, AN YOU THINK HE IS VERY KIND TO TELL YOU THINKS YOUR PRETTY, BUT, THAT IS VERY IN APPROPRIATE!.
SO FROM NOW ON YOU CAN ONLY WAVE AN SAY HI!.!. HE CAN NOT COME OVER BECAUSE, YOU CAN GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE!.!.!.
AN IF HE PROTEST YOU THE THEN ASK HIM!.!.!.
DO YOU WANT ME TO GET INTO TROUBLE, AN HAVE TO MOVE!?!?!?!?
AND YOU GO FROM THERE!.!.!.
HE IS ONLY A CHILD, AN SO YOU SPEAK TO HIM AS SUCH!.!. YES, AN ADULTS BODY!.!. BUT, HE IS JUST A CHILD!.!.
YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY PROBLEMS AFTER THAT!!!
HOPE THIS HELPS YOU
SILVERWOLFWONWww@Answer-Health@Com
BUT, YOU CAN NOT HAVE HIM OVER TO YOU HOUSE ALL THE TIME HELPING ME!.
BECAUSE, YOUR HOME INSURANCE WON'T ALLOW IT!.!.
YOU TELL HIM, HE IS VERY, VERY, KIND TO WANT TO HELP, AN YOU THINK HE IS VERY KIND TO TELL YOU THINKS YOUR PRETTY, BUT, THAT IS VERY IN APPROPRIATE!.
SO FROM NOW ON YOU CAN ONLY WAVE AN SAY HI!.!. HE CAN NOT COME OVER BECAUSE, YOU CAN GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE!.!.!.
AN IF HE PROTEST YOU THE THEN ASK HIM!.!.!.
DO YOU WANT ME TO GET INTO TROUBLE, AN HAVE TO MOVE!?!?!?!?
AND YOU GO FROM THERE!.!.!.
HE IS ONLY A CHILD, AN SO YOU SPEAK TO HIM AS SUCH!.!. YES, AN ADULTS BODY!.!. BUT, HE IS JUST A CHILD!.!.
YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE ANY PROBLEMS AFTER THAT!!!
HOPE THIS HELPS YOU
SILVERWOLFWONWww@Answer-Health@Com
My roommate has Downs Syndrome and I've noticed that the more attention i give to her, the more she expects!. Maybe just be short with him and not too nice (don't be mean, just not overly nice) and in time he'll back off!. I wouldn't tell his parents yet cuz then he'll just get angry!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Wow!. That's the first time I've ever heard of something like that!. =/
Maybe you should talk to his parents or something and calmly explain the situation to them and how it makes you feel!. Then maybe you guys could work out some sort of solution!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Maybe you should talk to his parents or something and calmly explain the situation to them and how it makes you feel!. Then maybe you guys could work out some sort of solution!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
damnit-let him follow you around, he probably adores you! Its not as bad as it seems, take it from me-someone with a 13 year old mind;]Www@Answer-Health@Com
How about talking to his parents and letting them know the situation!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Take him to the beach or something - and leave him there!Www@Answer-Health@Com