Boyfriend is Bi-Polar, need advice?!
Question: Boyfriend is Bi-Polar, need advice!?
My BF of 8 months is Bi-polar!. I have known this for about 3 months or so!. I love, love, love him and have been very patient while his meds kick in and have been very supportive also!. The problem is, sometimes, he is very indecisive with me, and can't make up his mind on whether or not he wants to be with me!. The mood swings are pretty bad too!. He is on a mood stabilizer and an anti-depressant, which he will be coming off of shortly!. (before the anti-depressant things were GREAT)!. The problem I have is, I feel like I am ALWAYS blaming every mood swing on this disorder, and everytime he tells me one thing and then changes his mind (i wanna marry you one day!.!.!.we're not good together the next), I can't decipher whether or not it's him being "bi-polar" or again, if I am making excuses!. Since I don't have the disorder, all I can do is research to better understand and be there for him!. Can anyone give me some better understanding!? Or anyone in this/was in this situation!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Hi!.!.
I have bipolar disorder, and i was never indecisive about a relationship!.!.!.however, everyone is different, so you can't compare my life and the way i respond to situations with your boyfriend's current actions!.
I have noticed people blame my disorder for everything which has ever happened!.!.!. "did you take your meds!?"!.!.!. i'm an adult, and as such, it's no one's business whether i took my medication!.!. everyone has bad days, they don't have to have bipolar disorder!. It's sort of like men -- when woman are moody, they ask if they are on their period!.!.!. stereotypical!.
I don't use my disorder as an excuse for bad behavior, either, or an excuse to be short, mean or rude to others!. If i'm having a bad day, i let those in my life know "i'm having a bad day!.!.!."
I have experienced the heights of mania and the dregs of severe depression!.!. during these times, bipolars arent' much good to anyone (but mania can be a good thing, if it's not severe)!.
I hope that, when your boyfriend gets off the anti depressants, he will do better!. I can't take them at all!.!.!. (not saying the anti depressants are bad for your boyfriend, he is the one who will know)!. Most bipolars do take an anti depressant, and they are helpful!.
Your boyfriend will have "normal" phases as well as mood swings!. Catch him next time he's having a good phase, and ask him if he'd consider talking about where the relationship is going, and what he'd like from you!. If he wants to continue the relationship, it won't hurt him to tell him how you feel "I feel shoved out of your life when you tell me you're not sure if you want me or not"!.!.!.!. it's true, and you don't have to walk on eggshells, just because the guy has a mood disorder!. He also has a brain, and is capable of rational thought, especially when he is on an even-keel!.
there is a lot of information on line about bipolar disorder!.!.!. i'm sure you will find loads of helpful sites!.!.!.
good luck and be well!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I have bipolar disorder, and i was never indecisive about a relationship!.!.!.however, everyone is different, so you can't compare my life and the way i respond to situations with your boyfriend's current actions!.
I have noticed people blame my disorder for everything which has ever happened!.!.!. "did you take your meds!?"!.!.!. i'm an adult, and as such, it's no one's business whether i took my medication!.!. everyone has bad days, they don't have to have bipolar disorder!. It's sort of like men -- when woman are moody, they ask if they are on their period!.!.!. stereotypical!.
I don't use my disorder as an excuse for bad behavior, either, or an excuse to be short, mean or rude to others!. If i'm having a bad day, i let those in my life know "i'm having a bad day!.!.!."
I have experienced the heights of mania and the dregs of severe depression!.!. during these times, bipolars arent' much good to anyone (but mania can be a good thing, if it's not severe)!.
I hope that, when your boyfriend gets off the anti depressants, he will do better!. I can't take them at all!.!.!. (not saying the anti depressants are bad for your boyfriend, he is the one who will know)!. Most bipolars do take an anti depressant, and they are helpful!.
Your boyfriend will have "normal" phases as well as mood swings!. Catch him next time he's having a good phase, and ask him if he'd consider talking about where the relationship is going, and what he'd like from you!. If he wants to continue the relationship, it won't hurt him to tell him how you feel "I feel shoved out of your life when you tell me you're not sure if you want me or not"!.!.!.!. it's true, and you don't have to walk on eggshells, just because the guy has a mood disorder!. He also has a brain, and is capable of rational thought, especially when he is on an even-keel!.
there is a lot of information on line about bipolar disorder!.!.!. i'm sure you will find loads of helpful sites!.!.!.
good luck and be well!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Being bipolar doesn't make you indecisive- it doesn't make you change your mind all the time!.
It can make you very manic (fast, agitated, pressured, excitable, confused, angry) and depressed (slow, sad, tired, flat, confused, negative), and if someone is doing strange things in the context of these behaviours, it may be because of their illness!.
I am bipolar, and I'm quite decisive- I know what I want!. When I'm manic, I might be more enthusiastic and go-getting about it than when I'm depressed, but I still want the same people!.
If your boyfriend is being wishy-washy about the relationship, that's just him being wishy-washy, it has nothing to do with his bipolar disorder!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It can make you very manic (fast, agitated, pressured, excitable, confused, angry) and depressed (slow, sad, tired, flat, confused, negative), and if someone is doing strange things in the context of these behaviours, it may be because of their illness!.
I am bipolar, and I'm quite decisive- I know what I want!. When I'm manic, I might be more enthusiastic and go-getting about it than when I'm depressed, but I still want the same people!.
If your boyfriend is being wishy-washy about the relationship, that's just him being wishy-washy, it has nothing to do with his bipolar disorder!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It seems like everyone and their mother has bi-polar disorder these days, it is not a fashionable illness and believe it or not it is quite rare!.
I don't know what to tell you dear, the only thing I can suggest to you is to take care of yourself and perhaps find a new boyfriend because it seems to me that this one is using a mental illness to use YOU as a scapegoat!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't know what to tell you dear, the only thing I can suggest to you is to take care of yourself and perhaps find a new boyfriend because it seems to me that this one is using a mental illness to use YOU as a scapegoat!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think you have to decide whether you really want this life or not!. I mean being bi-polar, he's always going to be in medication and when you guys will have children there's a good possibility that they'll inherit his sickness!. Try talking to a psychiatrist for a better picture and to understand his exact condition!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
BESTT THING TO DO IS GO TO ASK!.COM AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS OR GOOGLE THAT CONITION!. I DONT THINK U LOVE HIM, U SOUND LIKE MORE OF A FRIEND TO SUPPOPRT HIM, ASK A DOC!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Bipolar mood swings cannot be mistaken for anything else!. When you're manic, you're on top of the world, talk fast, think fast, smarter than everybody, spend all your money, get all the sex you can until!.it spins either into psychosis or depression!. Depression is called "the black dog"!. You can't think, you can't move, you can't get dressed, you're in so much mental pain you want to kill yourself!. The world is black!.
It doesn't flicker back and forth day by day or have anything to do with whether I should date you, or marry you!. It's not little "twinges" of mood like everyone has, it's HUGE!. Mood swings last a week to months!. If he's on a mood stabilizer, he should have things under control!. Psychiatric drugs don't make people wack out; if you don't have the disease you wouldn't feel any effects!. If you are bipolar, they just make you feel "normal"!.
Don't let him say it's all the disease!. If he's not in the throws of a mood swing, HE is talking, not bipolar!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It doesn't flicker back and forth day by day or have anything to do with whether I should date you, or marry you!. It's not little "twinges" of mood like everyone has, it's HUGE!. Mood swings last a week to months!. If he's on a mood stabilizer, he should have things under control!. Psychiatric drugs don't make people wack out; if you don't have the disease you wouldn't feel any effects!. If you are bipolar, they just make you feel "normal"!.
Don't let him say it's all the disease!. If he's not in the throws of a mood swing, HE is talking, not bipolar!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I have bipolar disorder!. First off med changes are the worst, trying to find the right combination of meds is very frustrating and scary!. I had a bad experience with one med that made me mildly psychotic, the best part of it was that my kids were here to help me and the worst was seeing the fear in their eyes as I was falling apart!. Sometimes meds work for awhile and then they stop working thats just part of being bipolar!.
Every bipolar person is different too!. Some tend toward mainia, that would be me!. Some tend toward depression!. And then there are rapid cyclers who may be up and down all day for minutes or hours!. Then there are mixed moods when a person can be both up and down at the same time!. And sometimes we have our good days or bad days that are just life and not related to bipolar at all!.
I'm single in part because I am afraid to put someone through all the things that come with being with a bipolar person!. It takes a special kind of person, a strong person to be with a bipolar person!. Maybe, and this is just a thought, he is also afraid to put you through the choas that is bipolar!.
I recommend a book titled Break the Bipolar Cycle!. It is a good book for the bipolar person and the loved ones of a bipolar person!.
I also recommend a podcat call Bipolar Nation hosted by CaptJoe!. It's done from a bipolar persons point of view and may help you understand your boyfriend a little better!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Every bipolar person is different too!. Some tend toward mainia, that would be me!. Some tend toward depression!. And then there are rapid cyclers who may be up and down all day for minutes or hours!. Then there are mixed moods when a person can be both up and down at the same time!. And sometimes we have our good days or bad days that are just life and not related to bipolar at all!.
I'm single in part because I am afraid to put someone through all the things that come with being with a bipolar person!. It takes a special kind of person, a strong person to be with a bipolar person!. Maybe, and this is just a thought, he is also afraid to put you through the choas that is bipolar!.
I recommend a book titled Break the Bipolar Cycle!. It is a good book for the bipolar person and the loved ones of a bipolar person!.
I also recommend a podcat call Bipolar Nation hosted by CaptJoe!. It's done from a bipolar persons point of view and may help you understand your boyfriend a little better!.Www@Answer-Health@Com