Why does my girlfriend's past cause me mental anguish?!


Question: Why does my girlfriend's past cause me mental anguish!?
My girlfriend has had a very hard life!. She was in a foster home, molested, became promiscuous, started using drugs, started dancing (stripping), etc!. She is a good woman and loves me very much, and she's changed, but her past keeps haunting me!. I try to stay focused on all the positive aspects of our relationship, but I can't control my thoughts and I become very depressed!. I keep dwelling on past events that can't be changed!. It's HER past, not mine, so why does it depress me and make me sad!? How do I get over this!? I just want to be happy and enjoy my life with her!. Please no rude answers!. I want to know the reason this is happening!.Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
Go to a Bible teaching church, just try it out!. If you don't like it, no biggy, don't go back!.!.!.

It helps a lot of people with this type of history!. She needs help, and support, or she may return to that lifestyle, because that is all she knows!.

She needs therapy also, to get over all of this trauma!. If she doesn't, she and you will eventually have a lot of problems, believe me!.!.!.!.
Been through this stuff with a friend years ago!.!.!.!.
She never went to therapy to talk about it, or heal, so she brought all her terrible "baggage" into the relationship with her boyfriend!.!.!.
The only thing they have in common is they both are sex addicts!. She is quite miserable!.

Be careful, guard your heart, and like I said, GET her to therapy, a psychologist or psychiatrist will help her more than you know!. You should go with her at some point, to tell the doctor how you feel, and how to get through this!.!.!.!.!.
God Bless you and your girlfriend!.!.!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

You love her and you feel bad that she has to go through with this pain, you feel like you should have done it instead of her!?

It'll take a while for you to get over it, how long has it been!? Over a year, you could try talking to her about this, just to let it out, let her know how you feel, tell her that your sorry that she went through that and just let it all out, you can cry it's okay :DWww@Answer-Health@Com

Because you love her and you hate knowing that your girlfriend was like that!. You hate her past, the person she once was!. It's like the was a different entity in that past, and you hate that entity!.

It will probably pass with time!. My fiance was bothered by the fact that I was in jail once, but now he's pretty much over it!. It took him a while, but he never thinks about it anymore!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

YOu said it- it;'s her past not yours!. Learn to accept that and be happy wit who she is today, and be thankful that she survived!. It;s probably happening because you really love her and are sensitive and sympathetic!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Because you love her and feel sad that she had it rough!. You would never have made her live like that!. And maybe you worry that she'll go back to it!? Talk to her, love her, and just be sad for her!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Try to talk with her about your concerns and let her know how you feel!. you made a hard choice from the begining giving her a second chance!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

You said she loves you!. That's a Strong statement does her past bother her!. If that's a no to her whats in the past is in the past!. The past is done gone don't do this to her or yourself!.
shes the one that had to go though it not you!. All your going to do is bring up a life that she doest live any more do you think that she wanted all of that to happen to her!.All your going to do is bring up her past and then she has to live it all over again!. What part of her past bothers you don't say you don't
know think about this really think I'm on the other end here
all i can do is give you in sight you have to do the work
all i am is somebody who lived a hard life i started my life over I'm happy with what i have lets see if i can help you
you cant change the past its dead and gone!.you need to be gratefully she chose you to love!. Love her back the same way
Her past only made her stronger to want to live life and now she doing it with you!. Respect that and you have nothing to fear shes your lady!. If there is something bothering you
have you talk to her about this!? if any body can help you that's
your lady !.If she can put it in the past she can help you!.
let me ask you this are you worried that your going to lose her!?
Shes your partner in life!. be truthfull about everything talk
to her
You can be happy just get this in the past the sooner you do
the sooner you can start living the life that you both are looking for
keep it real i wish you the bestWww@Answer-Health@Com

Good question!. I will try not to come off rude!.

It sounds to me like you want to forgive her for her past and somehow deep inside you are judging her for it even if you dont realize it!.
If you are internalizing all of these feelings it can lead to a depressed state!. If you continue to hold all of these feelings in they will eventually come out in your attitude towards her and even cause more pain to her and yourself and possibly ruin the relationship!.

Try reading some books about forgiveness!. Forgiveness is a constant thing!. You have to work on it everyday!.
We all have skeletons in our closets and things that we have done!. Just imagine if everyone held those things against you!.

You may want to try to consider being more open about your feelings with her!. Use caution and approach carefully though!. You have been holding that stuff in and it could come out the wrong way!.

If you cant explain to her how you feel I dont understand the basis of your relationship!. There needs to be more open communication in your relationship to make it last!.

You will need to forgive her for her past or you will not be able to move on in a healthy relationship!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Sometimes when people say "no rude answers," it just brings out the worst in me, but not in this case!. I can hear a lot of pain your post here!. I'm not sure if you are sad for her, or like one post said here, worried that she will (flip out and) go back to her old life, or if you are somehow suffering because you were not part of all that happened to her before you knew her--not because it was good, but because it was significant!. Is there somewhere in the back of your head some idea that it was glamorous, in a soap-opera-ish way, and you worry that she holds onto some of it as glamorous!? Does that maybe make you jealous!? Does any one aspect of her past depress you and make you sad more than other aspects!? I think these would all be great questions to talk through with a counselor!. It takes a brave person to look inside themselves like you're doing!. A therapist can help light the path on that journey!. Please don't take offense at any of my suggestions!. I'm just sitting on my sofa brainstorming possibilities for you to consider!. Best of luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com





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