Mom wants to be my age?!
Question: Mom wants to be my age!?
my mother 61 years old and i am 38 years old she seems very paranoid about being 61 and looking her age when she doesnt look 61!.she is always looking for compliments that she looks like my age instead which is far from the truth!.
she makes false comments that others say she looks younger then me which is a long shot!.i do not understand what my mothers problem is any suggestions please!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
she makes false comments that others say she looks younger then me which is a long shot!.i do not understand what my mothers problem is any suggestions please!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
That makes me sad to hear!. I am near her age (56), and I am totally happy to be my age!. I might not look "my age," whatever that means, but I don't look "young," and I don't try to look "young"!. I just try to look my best!. I am about 40 lbs!. over my ideal weight, but I don't care!. More of me to love, right!? I have fun with my appearance--hair style, makeup, clothes & jewelry, and I take risks with those things that younger women I know don't take, because they are trying to impress the males of the species!.
I am married, and I want my husband not to be REPELLED, but I'm more than my sexual attractiveness, and isn't that really what we're talking about when women get "stuck" in wanting to be "young"!? I have an education (which anyone can work on), and a career (people can make a difference in the world through work or volunteering), and decades of knowledge that I share with younger women!. I'm their advocate, not making a fool of myself trying to be their competition!.
I think I started looking at issues of aging a long time ago!. I knew that youth was fleeting, and there has to be something that keeps us going once our youth has passed!. I thought about the fact that our youth is about our reproductive years, but we live so long after that, there has to be a reason!.
A woman at 61 doesn't look 38, period!. That's even if she has extensive surgery to stave off aging!. Old skin is old skin and doesn't look young, even if it's stretched to keep from sagging!. It just looks stretched!.
We are so much more than our exteriors, and if we don't appreciate that fact by the time we're 61, we are going to be IN PAIN (or, as with your mum, in DENIAL)!. At worst, it just sets us up as objects of pity or ridicule!.
I remember the day I realized I was older, not just by the calendar, but in the eyes of others!. I was talking to a couple of male co-workers, and younger female co-worker came up to us, and in an instant the conversation we were having about work shifted to attention on her and some nonwork topics!. I was 44, and she was 20!. I decided in that moment that I would not be jealous, or try to pass as younger to "compete" with her, or other women her age, but to find a new social role for me!. I've developed that role over time through trial and error, and 12 years later that young lady is still in my life!. She is the daughter I never had!. She has no idea about that "moment" when our paths first crossed and how that changed my life, but I have been an important person in her life BECAUSE of the decision I made then!.
I am a source of wisdom, comfort, and acceptance to the young people in my life, esp!. but not only women, and this is a wonderful role that women "of a certain age" assume perfectly!. Our culture doesn't emphasize this role, but it's so obvious once we let go of the hot momma image that's shoved down our throats as the only use for women!. Screw that! I don't accept that, your mother doesn't have to accept it, and I love blazing a new trail for other women in this area!. I always say "if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem," and no more so than in this!.
Hope that helps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I am married, and I want my husband not to be REPELLED, but I'm more than my sexual attractiveness, and isn't that really what we're talking about when women get "stuck" in wanting to be "young"!? I have an education (which anyone can work on), and a career (people can make a difference in the world through work or volunteering), and decades of knowledge that I share with younger women!. I'm their advocate, not making a fool of myself trying to be their competition!.
I think I started looking at issues of aging a long time ago!. I knew that youth was fleeting, and there has to be something that keeps us going once our youth has passed!. I thought about the fact that our youth is about our reproductive years, but we live so long after that, there has to be a reason!.
A woman at 61 doesn't look 38, period!. That's even if she has extensive surgery to stave off aging!. Old skin is old skin and doesn't look young, even if it's stretched to keep from sagging!. It just looks stretched!.
We are so much more than our exteriors, and if we don't appreciate that fact by the time we're 61, we are going to be IN PAIN (or, as with your mum, in DENIAL)!. At worst, it just sets us up as objects of pity or ridicule!.
I remember the day I realized I was older, not just by the calendar, but in the eyes of others!. I was talking to a couple of male co-workers, and younger female co-worker came up to us, and in an instant the conversation we were having about work shifted to attention on her and some nonwork topics!. I was 44, and she was 20!. I decided in that moment that I would not be jealous, or try to pass as younger to "compete" with her, or other women her age, but to find a new social role for me!. I've developed that role over time through trial and error, and 12 years later that young lady is still in my life!. She is the daughter I never had!. She has no idea about that "moment" when our paths first crossed and how that changed my life, but I have been an important person in her life BECAUSE of the decision I made then!.
I am a source of wisdom, comfort, and acceptance to the young people in my life, esp!. but not only women, and this is a wonderful role that women "of a certain age" assume perfectly!. Our culture doesn't emphasize this role, but it's so obvious once we let go of the hot momma image that's shoved down our throats as the only use for women!. Screw that! I don't accept that, your mother doesn't have to accept it, and I love blazing a new trail for other women in this area!. I always say "if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem," and no more so than in this!.
Hope that helps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well it is just her way of coping with being 61!.
You should encourage her to feel young!. Why not!. She is trying herself to keep young!. God knows you don't want a fuddy duddy grey hair old lady for your mom!.
You are really lucky she is trying to stay 'young at heart' Of course she knows you look younger, she just wants to feel better about herself!. You should be flattered, she obviously thinks you are attractive!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You should encourage her to feel young!. Why not!. She is trying herself to keep young!. God knows you don't want a fuddy duddy grey hair old lady for your mom!.
You are really lucky she is trying to stay 'young at heart' Of course she knows you look younger, she just wants to feel better about herself!. You should be flattered, she obviously thinks you are attractive!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
These days older women want to look decades younger--you see a lot of anti-aging, anti-wrinkle skin products on the market, plus those Botox commercials-- and it's because they associate youth with beauty!. Maybe she feels insecure about these changes to her appearance, and needs words of encouragement to accept herself the way she is!. But that is just a possibility!. Whatever it is, try to discuss the issue with her and get down to the bottom of things!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Tell her that aging is natural and that its her true beauty that makes her beautiful and not outward appearances!. And just to make her feel better I guess you could tell her that you love her for who she is!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It sounds like she has a fear of looking old or she is preoccupied with the way she looks!. Just tell her to be comfortable in her own skin and people will like her for who she is!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
she's scared she won't be attractive anymore because of her age and she may need your support in this, unfortunately this problem of yours may get worse going into later years!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Most females want to look younger!. Something like in their 20s!.Www@Answer-Health@Com