Is my mother manipultive?!
Question: Is my mother manipultive!?
I'm 29 years old woman who has a 58 years old widow mother, she is a negative and mean person all through her life, most relatives have cut their tie with her!. She runs a failed business and lives with my sister who is also avoiding her!. Due to abuse i've moved out of home 10 years ago and I have a successful career and loving boyfriend!. a week ago i landed a great job with lots of pay, so i called my mother to let her know the great news, she was NOT happy for me, she said it was nothing exciting and there was no reason for me to be happy!. I quickly hung up the phone before she says more negative stuff!. She then try to call me back but i didn't answer the phone!. So today I called her just to say happy mother's day, she sounded very flat, not happy, and she tried to get off the phone quickly, she didn't really want to talk to me, also she said everything in her life is fantastic, she never asked how am i etc, is she ok!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
She sounds a selfish, mean, nasty piece of work!. My dad used to be like that!. Those people alienate everyone around them, and end up even more self-absorbed and cynical!.
Do your duty as a daughter, in keeping in touch, but don't allow yourself to be dragged into your mother's miserable moods!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Do your duty as a daughter, in keeping in touch, but don't allow yourself to be dragged into your mother's miserable moods!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I have just found it best to accept a person as negative and gently avoid them!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
shes sounds depressed look at all the things that happen to her!.!. but she shouldnt take it out on nobody!.!.!.!.!.and what do u mean HAPPY MOTHERS DAY thats not until may 11Www@Answer-Health@Com
sounds selfish to me
maybe she wanted to be so successfull like yourself and has regrets
try talking to herWww@Answer-Health@Com
maybe she wanted to be so successfull like yourself and has regrets
try talking to herWww@Answer-Health@Com
not to me, she is nice and kind to meWww@Answer-Health@Com
It was Mothers day 2ND of March its soon Fathers dayWww@Answer-Health@Com
Mother's Day!?!?
Oh crapWww@Answer-Health@Com
Oh crapWww@Answer-Health@Com
Sounds like my own mother hun!.!.!.!.i avoid my mother because of this reasonWww@Answer-Health@Com
This is a situation that goes much deeper than surface
tensions!. This all began many years ago!. why!? Only you 2 know!. But, the solution was never found then, so it surely won't be found now!.
It would take the both of you
to really want to repair this
relationship in order for it to work, which I doubt will happen!.
You are still wanting her approval by calling and telling her the good news!. She will
not give you any approval because she actually dislikes
you as much as you dislike her!. This is a no-win situation!.
Even parents and children must go their separate ways if they can't get along, and there's no love between them!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
tensions!. This all began many years ago!. why!? Only you 2 know!. But, the solution was never found then, so it surely won't be found now!.
It would take the both of you
to really want to repair this
relationship in order for it to work, which I doubt will happen!.
You are still wanting her approval by calling and telling her the good news!. She will
not give you any approval because she actually dislikes
you as much as you dislike her!. This is a no-win situation!.
Even parents and children must go their separate ways if they can't get along, and there's no love between them!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
i think your mum is 'OK' as in not sick
it also sounds like she is the kind of person who just cant stand the thought of you being able to enter into success
my mother is similar too - especially when i announced i was expecting a baby!.
i guess you would be better off keeping contacts with her to a minimum so she does not get much of a target for her negativity to bring you down!.
it will mean on occasion calling her bluff when she kicks off and not caving in to her bad attitude!. but i can see you are cut from a different cloth and you are making a success of your life which shows me you are not a victim of her but a SURVIVOR!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
it also sounds like she is the kind of person who just cant stand the thought of you being able to enter into success
my mother is similar too - especially when i announced i was expecting a baby!.
i guess you would be better off keeping contacts with her to a minimum so she does not get much of a target for her negativity to bring you down!.
it will mean on occasion calling her bluff when she kicks off and not caving in to her bad attitude!. but i can see you are cut from a different cloth and you are making a success of your life which shows me you are not a victim of her but a SURVIVOR!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think your mom is manipulative and I don't think she will get better!. She is used to using others and she does not care that you are doing well, in fact she would like that it is bad news because it would confirm how she feels about you!. Stay away from her!. You have things going well and her involvement would make you feel bad!. Take care of yourself!. It is sad that a mother would do this, but there are other mothers out there who do the same thing (obviously not the majority, thank God)!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
In many ways, my mother was exactly the same !.!.!.!. very selfish with only her own mandate and no one elses!. I lost count at the number of times that I popped in to see her and ended up walking out as she would get pretty derogatory towards me!. At 84 years of age, she went into EMI care with multi-infarct dementia and I know at that point that she had probably been a tad unbalanced all her life!. I suspect that your mother will never change, far too set in her ways and to be honest, trying to do battle with her will just continue to hurt you, just like mine did! My mum died, aged 86, and despite my feelings, the loss was tragic!. No pain or hurt anymore, for either of us, just sad memories !.!.!.!.!. I think your answer is to care about your mother !.!.!.!. but keep your distance for your own sanity!. She's still got a lot of life left in her !Www@Answer-Health@Com
Maybe she is suffering from depression and she's definetly trying to worry you and is trying to being manipulative!. Don't be gouded by her, live your own life!. My parents could be like this when they were alive, they resented anything I did which didn't include them, would start arguements over anything and try to spoil things for me and my family!. They ruled our lives until the day they died, but I still miss them!. Maybe you should have a word with your sister and go to see her together to find out what is wrong!. Don't go on your own you need family support!. Your mum is not your soul responsibility!.
Hope this helps and have a good dayWww@Answer-Health@Com
Hope this helps and have a good dayWww@Answer-Health@Com
i think you need to talk to your mother and tell her how you feel!.
Remember that she is going through a hard time in life, and may be depressed!. she may not realise that she is hurting you, so it would be good to tell her how you feel!.
i wouldn't take the nasty things she said to heart!. she is probably just jealous that your life is great and hers isn't, so she doesn't want to talk about it!.
i am glad that you didn't cut your ties with her like many of your other relatives did!. it would have been very hard for her if you did!. keep up the good work!. i admire how patient you have been, and i am sure deep down, your mother really appreciates what you have been doing!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Remember that she is going through a hard time in life, and may be depressed!. she may not realise that she is hurting you, so it would be good to tell her how you feel!.
i wouldn't take the nasty things she said to heart!. she is probably just jealous that your life is great and hers isn't, so she doesn't want to talk about it!.
i am glad that you didn't cut your ties with her like many of your other relatives did!. it would have been very hard for her if you did!. keep up the good work!. i admire how patient you have been, and i am sure deep down, your mother really appreciates what you have been doing!.Www@Answer-Health@Com