Can someone tell me how to get over my fear of rejection that ive had life long !
Question: Can someone tell me how to get over my fear of rejection that ive had life long !?
ive always had severe low self esteem, ive had a very rough life - ive never built up any relationships ever with anybody!.!.!.!.!.!.i have post traumatic stress and borderline personality disorder!.
i have always been rejected unfortunatly and never known how to maintain a relationship with somebody!.!.!.!.i get clingy!.!.!.feel inferior!.!.!.act desperate!.!.!.!.as well as very low self esteem to!.
at 30 im determined to build my life up, better myself and achieve my goals of a good job and a wife & a home in a sunny climate!.!.!.!.even though im greatly disadvantaged!.
through the internet, i have managed to intitiate contact with a few girls on myspace who i started off well with!.!.!.!.sent them friendly messages etc!.!.
we have been messaging to and throw for weeks now!.!.but all of a sudden ive clammed up!.!.!.!.im afraid to get back to them!.!.!.because ive started to like them!.!.!.!.and thay deep fear of rejection has come right of the front of my mind again!.!.
what if the past repeats itself !? what if i continue toWww@Answer-Health@Com
i have always been rejected unfortunatly and never known how to maintain a relationship with somebody!.!.!.!.i get clingy!.!.!.feel inferior!.!.!.act desperate!.!.!.!.as well as very low self esteem to!.
at 30 im determined to build my life up, better myself and achieve my goals of a good job and a wife & a home in a sunny climate!.!.!.!.even though im greatly disadvantaged!.
through the internet, i have managed to intitiate contact with a few girls on myspace who i started off well with!.!.!.!.sent them friendly messages etc!.!.
we have been messaging to and throw for weeks now!.!.but all of a sudden ive clammed up!.!.!.!.im afraid to get back to them!.!.!.because ive started to like them!.!.!.!.and thay deep fear of rejection has come right of the front of my mind again!.!.
what if the past repeats itself !? what if i continue toWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Good grief man, how many times are you going to go over and over and over the same question!. I don't want to sound like a t w a t, but you need to learn to take control of yourself and be proactive instead or wallowing in self pity!. There have been loads of people giving you excellent advice, offering you their friendship and support, you're not the only person in the world to have ever experienced adversity, feelings of low esteem and rejection anxiety!. You say you have goals in life, what are you actively doing to achieve these goals!? you need to stop thinking of yourself as a victim and just get the fcuk on with your life before it passes you by!. I'm sorry to rant at you dude, I've suffered from the same fears and mindfcuk as yourself pretty much all my life, and its easy to let it get a hold of you, the thing is you go round and round in circles untill you eventually dissapear up your own a r s e; don't let it happen to you, have a little courage and trust in the fact that you're obviously a nice guy and other people might actually want to get to know you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
During strong emotions, our brain sets up associations with whatever else we're perceiving at the time!. This is especially significant during childhood!.
This is how you can experience (fear of) rejection even though you're not being rejected!.
There are a few ways you can rewire such emotions!. The one that you might be able to do yourself is EFT:
http://www!.emofree!.com/
Otherwise go and see an EFT or NLP therapist!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
This is how you can experience (fear of) rejection even though you're not being rejected!.
There are a few ways you can rewire such emotions!. The one that you might be able to do yourself is EFT:
http://www!.emofree!.com/
Otherwise go and see an EFT or NLP therapist!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
In the entire case, Look at the third and fourth paragraphs and concentrate!. Take a print out of these two paragraphs and pin them on the wall where they would be visible!. go thru it daily and you will have the energy to get along !.
Remember one thing if u have something today because of your own efforts then u can have it again at any point of time u want!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Remember one thing if u have something today because of your own efforts then u can have it again at any point of time u want!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Just think about the fact that everyone dreads being rejected!. But you can't live with that fear all your life!. Remember this" When one door closes, another opens up"Www@Answer-Health@Com
its always good to want to better yourself, well done you!.
First off, you got to learn to be comfortable with yourself before anyone else gets involved with you!. Figure out whats good about you and who you are then understand that if others dont agree/accept it thats just a difference of opinion, not meant personally!. If they say it in a personal way towards you, take the thought that its their attitude problem not yours!
Secondly, set your own standards to live towards - not other peoples!. Once you realise that you dont have to live up to others expectations (only your own) then that releases pressure!.
Fear of being rejected is natural and a battle for us all until we are truley comfortable with our own sense of self worth!. Love and be happy with you and who you are/where you want to go and who you want to take with you, the rest will follow
It'll all come in time and practice!. At least you striving to do better!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
First off, you got to learn to be comfortable with yourself before anyone else gets involved with you!. Figure out whats good about you and who you are then understand that if others dont agree/accept it thats just a difference of opinion, not meant personally!. If they say it in a personal way towards you, take the thought that its their attitude problem not yours!
Secondly, set your own standards to live towards - not other peoples!. Once you realise that you dont have to live up to others expectations (only your own) then that releases pressure!.
Fear of being rejected is natural and a battle for us all until we are truley comfortable with our own sense of self worth!. Love and be happy with you and who you are/where you want to go and who you want to take with you, the rest will follow
It'll all come in time and practice!. At least you striving to do better!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You seem to be developing self-awareness, which is a good indication that you are ready to make some fundamental changes!. I detect that you have come to realize that you, like all of us, tend to repeat behavior!. It is fine to repeat patterns that help us, and it doesn't make sense to repeat ones that do not!. But we often do so anyway!. You want to change that, and like all forms of improvement, easier said than done, but with conscious application, it is doable!.
The necessary basic change in approach is easy to describe, although not so easy to always do!. Whenever you address yourself to somebody, you need to find out what it is that they want to do, what is important to them!. Then you need to think and talk about any activities that will help them to accomplish what is important to them!.
When you do this, you will always say the right thing!. That is because in doing this you are forgetting about your own agendas and fears, which are always the source of our saying the wrong thing!.
In order to be able to do this, you have to be genuinely interested in the wants and needs of other people more than you are in your own problems!. This way, your own problems take on a realistic perspective!. They are no longer the most important thing in the world, and that way you have a fighting chance to push them out of the way, so that they stop interfering with your having enjoyable relationships with other people!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The necessary basic change in approach is easy to describe, although not so easy to always do!. Whenever you address yourself to somebody, you need to find out what it is that they want to do, what is important to them!. Then you need to think and talk about any activities that will help them to accomplish what is important to them!.
When you do this, you will always say the right thing!. That is because in doing this you are forgetting about your own agendas and fears, which are always the source of our saying the wrong thing!.
In order to be able to do this, you have to be genuinely interested in the wants and needs of other people more than you are in your own problems!. This way, your own problems take on a realistic perspective!. They are no longer the most important thing in the world, and that way you have a fighting chance to push them out of the way, so that they stop interfering with your having enjoyable relationships with other people!.Www@Answer-Health@Com