I have the most debilitating depression,and I'm at the end of my tether.i ca!
Question: I have the most debilitating depression,and I'm at the end of my tether!.i cant go on like this!.!?
please only answer if you can help,i had enough sarcasm here today!.
Imoved to the north west 20 years ago,due to not being able to afford to buy house in my home town!.
I cant adapt and have the worst home sickness and depression ever!.
Im not coping anymore and want to just end it all,but i know my hubby would be lost without me!.
I am hanging on because of him,but im just not coping today at all!.
I have stopped functioning and spend my days in bed trying to sleep to make the pain go away!.
We have no friends or family here,as the ones that live near by hate us because were southerners!.
I know if only we could afford to go live at home it would go away,as when we go home on holiday im great all the while were there till the day we come home,then its like i have this awful feeling of dread and i loathe it here,but cant get help from councils at home for social housing,and we cant afford to buy or private rent!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Imoved to the north west 20 years ago,due to not being able to afford to buy house in my home town!.
I cant adapt and have the worst home sickness and depression ever!.
Im not coping anymore and want to just end it all,but i know my hubby would be lost without me!.
I am hanging on because of him,but im just not coping today at all!.
I have stopped functioning and spend my days in bed trying to sleep to make the pain go away!.
We have no friends or family here,as the ones that live near by hate us because were southerners!.
I know if only we could afford to go live at home it would go away,as when we go home on holiday im great all the while were there till the day we come home,then its like i have this awful feeling of dread and i loathe it here,but cant get help from councils at home for social housing,and we cant afford to buy or private rent!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I know what it's like to live somewhere you don't belong, and to be someplace where you're not part of things!. In some ways, I'm doing that right now!. I moved to California in December 2006 to be near my father, because I wanted to care for him as he got older ~ ever since I got here, things have blown up in my face; nothing is like I thought it would be!.
First off, my father isn't the person I thought he'd be!. It took months of work to build enough trust with him to where I could get him to see a doctor, but I knew something was wrong the minute I got here!. It turns out my father has Multiple Sclerosis that probably went undiagnosed for 25 to 30 years, and the only real sign that he's sick is that he has Mild Dementia!. He's not the same person I've known all these years we've been talking over the phone; he's not the person I've relied upon to be my mentor, my spiritual and business guide, all these years!.
Within two weeks of finding out my father had MS, I was diagnosed with Stage IV Cancer, almost guaranteed to be non-curable!. They don't know if it's Ovarian Cancer that's spread to my Uterus or Uterine Cancer that's spread to my Ovaries ~ either way, I'm facing only a 20% chance of still being alive in 5-years, and there's no one who will step forward to care for my father if I die!. My brother won't do it, and my mother divorced him in 1991; if I die, my father is completely on his own ~ Dementia and all ~ until he dies!. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and since I just moved here, I don't have any friends to share any of this with; all my friends are back in Missouri where I left them when I moved here a year and a half ago!.
I'm having to figure out how to be strong for both my father and myself, just when we're each facing our most difficult battles of our lives!. I don't know how to do this, but I have to!. And that's the boat you're in right now -- you don't know how to be strong any longer, but you have to be, for your husband and for yourself!.
Owning a home isn't all it's cracked up to be ~ I've been there and done that; in today's market especially, there are so many bad mortgages being written that it's hardly worth owning a home any longer, so many people are losing them!. The housing boom has gone bust; people aren't going to be owning homes for much longer!. People are going to have to return to renting homes for quite some time to come, or at least until the market stabilizes and the prices return to where they should be!. So stop making "owning a home" a priority!. Take that off the plate for right now and see if that doesn't change things a bit for you!.
Are you tied to the Northwest part of the country for jobs for either one of you, either you or your husband!? If not, if you can get similar jobs in the South -- where you're from and where you feel more "at home" -- then why aren't you looking for replacement jobs in the part of the country where you really want to live!? Is your husband aware of how desperately you miss the South and how badly you want to return!? If he doesn't know how deeply this is hurting you, then you need to tell him ~ and tell him NOW!. If you've already told him, do you think he gets how serious you are!?
If you can, get an online subscription to a major newspaper from your old "hometown" area and start looking at jobs for the both of you online!. Get your resume together, and get his resume together, too, and start making suggestions about jobs the two of you can apply for!. Until you start actually applying for jobs in the area, you really don't know what type of housing you'll be able to afford because you don't know what types of salaries you might be in line for!.
Start by taking small steps and put a plan together!. Start with things like resumes and online newspaper subscriptions in the area(s) you want to wind up in; graduate to an online campaign of applying for jobs: looking for a full-time job is often a full-time job in and of itself!. You'd also do well to check the housing market where you live now and see how long it takes to sell the average house in your neighborhood - if it takes 180-days to sell a house where you live, you might need to rearrange your plans and put the house on the market BEFORE you land that new job!.
Don't give up on the idea of going home unless or until you have exhausted all possibilities!. On the surface, my situation looks pretty bleak -- but when you dig a little deeper, even my situation can improve!.
To help myself, I took out an ad on Craigslist in the Personals section, advertising for Friends!. And I found some -- I have friends I communicate with by e-mail, and some I see in person or talk to on the phone!. I've got a good Oncologist who's treating me with Chemotherapy in an attempt to shrink my tumors before we even attempt surgery to remove the Cancer, and things are looking promising!. I feel a lot more positive about my situation now than I did 6-months ago!.
You can improve things for yourself if you want it bad enough, and if you work hard enough at it!. But you've got to decide on a plan and then put that plan into motion for your situation to improve, and you've got to tell your husband how desperately you need for this to happen!.
Don't give up on the idea of anti-depressant medication, either!. The idea is that, when you're feeling better, DON'T stop taking it -- stay on the medication so you can reap the benefits of feeling better and being productive!. I've been on anti-depressant medication for close to 15-years now, and I would NEVER go back to living without it!. I was put on the medication to help me cope with chronic pain and being physically disabled; it has helped tremendously, and continues to help me face my challenges every day!.
If you'd like to talk to me offline, e-mail me through Yahoo and I'd be happy to communicate with you via e-mail for a while; I'm sure we can help each other out!. OK!? Just don't give up!.
MinPinWww@Answer-Health@Com
First off, my father isn't the person I thought he'd be!. It took months of work to build enough trust with him to where I could get him to see a doctor, but I knew something was wrong the minute I got here!. It turns out my father has Multiple Sclerosis that probably went undiagnosed for 25 to 30 years, and the only real sign that he's sick is that he has Mild Dementia!. He's not the same person I've known all these years we've been talking over the phone; he's not the person I've relied upon to be my mentor, my spiritual and business guide, all these years!.
Within two weeks of finding out my father had MS, I was diagnosed with Stage IV Cancer, almost guaranteed to be non-curable!. They don't know if it's Ovarian Cancer that's spread to my Uterus or Uterine Cancer that's spread to my Ovaries ~ either way, I'm facing only a 20% chance of still being alive in 5-years, and there's no one who will step forward to care for my father if I die!. My brother won't do it, and my mother divorced him in 1991; if I die, my father is completely on his own ~ Dementia and all ~ until he dies!. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and since I just moved here, I don't have any friends to share any of this with; all my friends are back in Missouri where I left them when I moved here a year and a half ago!.
I'm having to figure out how to be strong for both my father and myself, just when we're each facing our most difficult battles of our lives!. I don't know how to do this, but I have to!. And that's the boat you're in right now -- you don't know how to be strong any longer, but you have to be, for your husband and for yourself!.
Owning a home isn't all it's cracked up to be ~ I've been there and done that; in today's market especially, there are so many bad mortgages being written that it's hardly worth owning a home any longer, so many people are losing them!. The housing boom has gone bust; people aren't going to be owning homes for much longer!. People are going to have to return to renting homes for quite some time to come, or at least until the market stabilizes and the prices return to where they should be!. So stop making "owning a home" a priority!. Take that off the plate for right now and see if that doesn't change things a bit for you!.
Are you tied to the Northwest part of the country for jobs for either one of you, either you or your husband!? If not, if you can get similar jobs in the South -- where you're from and where you feel more "at home" -- then why aren't you looking for replacement jobs in the part of the country where you really want to live!? Is your husband aware of how desperately you miss the South and how badly you want to return!? If he doesn't know how deeply this is hurting you, then you need to tell him ~ and tell him NOW!. If you've already told him, do you think he gets how serious you are!?
If you can, get an online subscription to a major newspaper from your old "hometown" area and start looking at jobs for the both of you online!. Get your resume together, and get his resume together, too, and start making suggestions about jobs the two of you can apply for!. Until you start actually applying for jobs in the area, you really don't know what type of housing you'll be able to afford because you don't know what types of salaries you might be in line for!.
Start by taking small steps and put a plan together!. Start with things like resumes and online newspaper subscriptions in the area(s) you want to wind up in; graduate to an online campaign of applying for jobs: looking for a full-time job is often a full-time job in and of itself!. You'd also do well to check the housing market where you live now and see how long it takes to sell the average house in your neighborhood - if it takes 180-days to sell a house where you live, you might need to rearrange your plans and put the house on the market BEFORE you land that new job!.
Don't give up on the idea of going home unless or until you have exhausted all possibilities!. On the surface, my situation looks pretty bleak -- but when you dig a little deeper, even my situation can improve!.
To help myself, I took out an ad on Craigslist in the Personals section, advertising for Friends!. And I found some -- I have friends I communicate with by e-mail, and some I see in person or talk to on the phone!. I've got a good Oncologist who's treating me with Chemotherapy in an attempt to shrink my tumors before we even attempt surgery to remove the Cancer, and things are looking promising!. I feel a lot more positive about my situation now than I did 6-months ago!.
You can improve things for yourself if you want it bad enough, and if you work hard enough at it!. But you've got to decide on a plan and then put that plan into motion for your situation to improve, and you've got to tell your husband how desperately you need for this to happen!.
Don't give up on the idea of anti-depressant medication, either!. The idea is that, when you're feeling better, DON'T stop taking it -- stay on the medication so you can reap the benefits of feeling better and being productive!. I've been on anti-depressant medication for close to 15-years now, and I would NEVER go back to living without it!. I was put on the medication to help me cope with chronic pain and being physically disabled; it has helped tremendously, and continues to help me face my challenges every day!.
If you'd like to talk to me offline, e-mail me through Yahoo and I'd be happy to communicate with you via e-mail for a while; I'm sure we can help each other out!. OK!? Just don't give up!.
MinPinWww@Answer-Health@Com
It sounds like you need to find a good local church group to belong to and throw yourself into the group and find yourself again!. don't just lock yourself away look around and find a group please don't just waste your life!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
There are many medications that will help with your depression!. And various dosages for each!. Go back to your doctor!. It often takes a couple weeks to notice an improvement in your depression, but often as quickly as just a few days!. Don't give up!. Keep going back to your doctor until your doctor finds just the right medication(s) and doseage to reduce or eliminate your depression!. Hang in there!. You'll be glad you did!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
please try these
have you thought about a pet(like a dog), or working part-time
also
Mediation technique
We experience life through our mind!.
Experiences are what they are, but the mind often puts a new spin on them, making them seem worse at times!.
This produces the pain we feel inside, and when it builds up enough we either hurt others or ourselves!.
Not because we are bad or evil, but we aren't sure how to deal with the agony inside!.
The longer it stays, the more dead/dull we feel inside!.
Meditation is all about controlling you mind rather than being controlled by it!.
It is difficult to directly approach the mind and tame it, so we start by approaching the nearest manifestation of it- breath!.
It can be seen that when we have tremendous concentration we are not breathing as regularly, and when upset breath shallow and rapid!.
How to do this!.
Begin by becoming aware of your breath!.
With each inhalation pay attention to the air entering you right nostril(air will enter both,but focus on the column of air in the right side)
Exhale and pay attention to the column leaving your left nostril!.
Inhale and pay attention to air entering the left nostril
Exhale and pay attention to air exiting the right nostril!.
Then breath deep and feel the air in both sides rise up to the tip of your nose(like an inverted V ),
and push it all out(feeling both sides)!.
This is one cycle, you can do up to 100 in a day!.
It is a simple game to keep the mind busy(if you loose track on count restart), and off the things it can't change with worry(realistically everything)!.
As you get better at this you'll be able to identify a space between your thoughts!. As that awareness deepens you'll feel a peace when it arises!. And soon you should be able to identify yourself as that peace rather than your mind!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
have you thought about a pet(like a dog), or working part-time
also
Mediation technique
We experience life through our mind!.
Experiences are what they are, but the mind often puts a new spin on them, making them seem worse at times!.
This produces the pain we feel inside, and when it builds up enough we either hurt others or ourselves!.
Not because we are bad or evil, but we aren't sure how to deal with the agony inside!.
The longer it stays, the more dead/dull we feel inside!.
Meditation is all about controlling you mind rather than being controlled by it!.
It is difficult to directly approach the mind and tame it, so we start by approaching the nearest manifestation of it- breath!.
It can be seen that when we have tremendous concentration we are not breathing as regularly, and when upset breath shallow and rapid!.
How to do this!.
Begin by becoming aware of your breath!.
With each inhalation pay attention to the air entering you right nostril(air will enter both,but focus on the column of air in the right side)
Exhale and pay attention to the column leaving your left nostril!.
Inhale and pay attention to air entering the left nostril
Exhale and pay attention to air exiting the right nostril!.
Then breath deep and feel the air in both sides rise up to the tip of your nose(like an inverted V ),
and push it all out(feeling both sides)!.
This is one cycle, you can do up to 100 in a day!.
It is a simple game to keep the mind busy(if you loose track on count restart), and off the things it can't change with worry(realistically everything)!.
As you get better at this you'll be able to identify a space between your thoughts!. As that awareness deepens you'll feel a peace when it arises!. And soon you should be able to identify yourself as that peace rather than your mind!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com