How can I get over my insecurities and be confident in my relationship? Help!?!
Question: How can I get over my insecurities and be confident in my relationship!? Help!!?
How do I learn to love myself!? How do I get over my irrational fear that my boyfriend, who sincerely loves me, will leave me or abandon me or cheat on me or lie or leave me heartbroken!? He tells me so many times he won't do that, he is to a breaking point always trying to prove his love to me!. I need to be secure and confident, I don't want to lose him!. How do I stop being so scared and so needy and dependent!?!? I want to be independent and I want to be secure and believe in myself and in my boyfriend!. Help please!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Obviously you've been hurt in the past or you know someone close to you who has been hurt!. Stop punishing yourself!. You've already been through it once, why punish yourself by assuming it'll happen again!. You have to put past issues behind you!. Your last relationship didn't work out!. It wasn't supposed to!. Now you're in another one!. Stop dwelling on the past, and focus on the present, look to the future!. Not all relationships are meant to last!. If they were, you wouldn't be in the one you're in now!.
Also, stop punishing your man for what the last one did to you!. It's not his fault!. (It's not yours completely either)!.
Reverse the roles: If your boyfriend constantly came to you and told you he was afraid you'd leave him, you'd feel like you were being accused of not loving him enough, not being dedicated enough, maybe even trying to hook up with other guys!. When really, it's quite the opposite!. That's probably how he feels!. He probably feels like he's doing all he can and it's not good enough!. If anything, he will get worn out from trying to prove to you that he's not like the others, and that will be the end of the relationship!. You have to start tursting him and most importantly, trusting yourself!. It's not all your fault that your past relationships failed!. Both people have to be willing to make it work, to make it work!. Let go of the past, live in the moment!. Who knows, maybe this relationship isn't meant to be forever either, but everything you do in life is a learning experience and you have to accept that you don't know what will happen in the future, and you can't control everything that happens!. All you can do is work at what you've got, try to trust yourself more, try to let go of the past, trust your boyfriend, let him know he's doing alright!. If you have no reason to doubt that he loves you, don't doubt it because of those other losers you were with!. He's a different guy!. Let him prove himself and stop comparing him to the others!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Also, stop punishing your man for what the last one did to you!. It's not his fault!. (It's not yours completely either)!.
Reverse the roles: If your boyfriend constantly came to you and told you he was afraid you'd leave him, you'd feel like you were being accused of not loving him enough, not being dedicated enough, maybe even trying to hook up with other guys!. When really, it's quite the opposite!. That's probably how he feels!. He probably feels like he's doing all he can and it's not good enough!. If anything, he will get worn out from trying to prove to you that he's not like the others, and that will be the end of the relationship!. You have to start tursting him and most importantly, trusting yourself!. It's not all your fault that your past relationships failed!. Both people have to be willing to make it work, to make it work!. Let go of the past, live in the moment!. Who knows, maybe this relationship isn't meant to be forever either, but everything you do in life is a learning experience and you have to accept that you don't know what will happen in the future, and you can't control everything that happens!. All you can do is work at what you've got, try to trust yourself more, try to let go of the past, trust your boyfriend, let him know he's doing alright!. If you have no reason to doubt that he loves you, don't doubt it because of those other losers you were with!. He's a different guy!. Let him prove himself and stop comparing him to the others!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Hi
I know what you are going through!.
You sound like you have a self confidence issue!.
Try to remember 10 things each day that people say that were nice!. Tell yourself in the mirror how wonderful and beautiful you are as a person (you will feel silly at first but it works)!.
Remember, you control what you think about!. Maybe you can make up a list of fun things to think about (like shopping, sport, a favourite pet, something that you need to get done, whatever you like) for when you have these negative thoughts!. The more you stop yourself thinking this way, the better you will feel!.
This is not about how your boyfriend feels about you but maybe that you think you don't deserve to be happy!.
All in all, it is destructive behaviour which may cause the relationship to end!.
You do deserve to be happy and you can stop this!.
Good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com
I know what you are going through!.
You sound like you have a self confidence issue!.
Try to remember 10 things each day that people say that were nice!. Tell yourself in the mirror how wonderful and beautiful you are as a person (you will feel silly at first but it works)!.
Remember, you control what you think about!. Maybe you can make up a list of fun things to think about (like shopping, sport, a favourite pet, something that you need to get done, whatever you like) for when you have these negative thoughts!. The more you stop yourself thinking this way, the better you will feel!.
This is not about how your boyfriend feels about you but maybe that you think you don't deserve to be happy!.
All in all, it is destructive behaviour which may cause the relationship to end!.
You do deserve to be happy and you can stop this!.
Good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com
Ask yourself, "How can he truly love me if I don't love myself!?" If you don't get over your insecurities and stop fearing that he will leave you, chances are he will!. Look in the mirror and say what you like about yourself!. Then, say what you don't!. And why!. Ask "Does the thing that I dislike about myself affect how other people see me!?" You just need to figure out why you are so insecure and try to fix it!. You should love yourself if you have a boyfriend or not!. Work on that and then you won't need to be dependent of anyone!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You have got the right idea, when you said, how can I get him to love me by learning to love myself!. Rent the movie, the Joy Luck Club!. Do something for yourself to make yourself lovable!.
You can breed!. You can overcome insecurities learned in childhood by replaying the roles, but this time, you be the mommy!.
You can be proud of yourself for something you do well!. Under the surface, you're either anxious or secure!. If you're anxious try anti anxiety meds!. If you're secure, then get married!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You can breed!. You can overcome insecurities learned in childhood by replaying the roles, but this time, you be the mommy!.
You can be proud of yourself for something you do well!. Under the surface, you're either anxious or secure!. If you're anxious try anti anxiety meds!. If you're secure, then get married!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Have you ever had true independence!? You may have never had the chance to prove to yourself that you are a worthwhile person!. In this case, the relationship is either doomed, or you need to take a break to accomplish something really outstanding to show yourself that you can!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
you need to find trust in your self!.!.!.
if you cant trust him, that means you cant trust you!.
you need to just pray to god to give you strength and to help you through and to watch over your boyfriend to keep him from temptation of doing you wrong!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
if you cant trust him, that means you cant trust you!.
you need to just pray to god to give you strength and to help you through and to watch over your boyfriend to keep him from temptation of doing you wrong!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I will tell you I am 51 years old and I have the same problem!.I have a new boyfriend and all I think about is him leaving me or cheating on me!. I would love to help you but I need to learn how to trust also!.Anytime you want to talk my e-mail is deborahbonanno@yahoo!.comWww@Answer-Health@Com
erm!.!.
i think you just have to believe your partner!.!.
if u really love him, you shoul believe him!.!.!.
besides, u should be more confident!.!.
maybe u can start with ur appearance!.!.
the way you talk, walk!.!.everything!.!.
u should have belief in urself that u can do this!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
i think you just have to believe your partner!.!.
if u really love him, you shoul believe him!.!.!.
besides, u should be more confident!.!.
maybe u can start with ur appearance!.!.
the way you talk, walk!.!.everything!.!.
u should have belief in urself that u can do this!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
My insecurities come from stuff he does!.!.!. but, if yours doesn't come from something ur bf does, then just try to be happy knowing that he loves you and make the best of it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Nobody can help you!. Quit making it all about you!. That is the best that I can tell you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com