Should I back off and support her till she gets treatment?!
Question: Should I back off and support her till she gets treatment!?
My g/f of 15 years is suffering from mental health problems and is about to finally go see a psychiatrist in a few weeks!. We've had a lot of relationship problems due to her illness and currently her heart is closed off to loving me, feeling that she needs to straighten herself out before she can fully jump into a relationship with me!.
But she's also not sure she even wants to try to love me, given that I was emotionally immature and lacked what it takes to keep a relationship healthy!. I pushed her away for a period of time when I myself was depressed!. And her mental illness stems from abandonment issues and abuse from her childhood!. A part of her says she's afraid to love me again, but also is unsure if she wants to try again!. She hasn't completely closed the door, but isn't hopeful!. She does want to see what happens when she goes on her treatment and can think more clearly!. After 15 years and 3 kids, I believe it is worth sticking out because there is still love between usWww@Answer-Health@Com
But she's also not sure she even wants to try to love me, given that I was emotionally immature and lacked what it takes to keep a relationship healthy!. I pushed her away for a period of time when I myself was depressed!. And her mental illness stems from abandonment issues and abuse from her childhood!. A part of her says she's afraid to love me again, but also is unsure if she wants to try again!. She hasn't completely closed the door, but isn't hopeful!. She does want to see what happens when she goes on her treatment and can think more clearly!. After 15 years and 3 kids, I believe it is worth sticking out because there is still love between usWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I think you really have to listen to her at this time!. Just be there as a good friend for now, and maybe when he has worked through her issues she will be able to think more clearly about committing to you further!.
Don't forget, she has been hurt in the past, and emotional scars tend to take longer to heal than physical ones ( if they can be healed) so you need to be extremely patient right now!.
Her abandonment and abuse issues will definitely make it difficult for her to trust ANYONE at the moment, and your own immaturity and lack of affection - even if they were due to you being depressed - will only make things even more awkward right now!.
By the way, did you ever have any treatment or see a counsellor when you were depressed!? If you didn't, then there may be a chance it still lingers on the surface, so I think it might be a good idea to visit your gp and find out if you could benefit from treatment!.
She's being very sensible in wanting to sort out her issues before beginning a full - on relationship with anyone, including you as she needs to regain her mental strength first, so she can handle the stresses and strains of living with someone, so please don't imagine for one minute that she's stopped loving you!. The opposite is true - shes doing this because she DOES love you and she wants to give a little more to the relationship than she can at the moment, so see this as the ultimate expression of love!.
Hope you're both feeling better soon!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Don't forget, she has been hurt in the past, and emotional scars tend to take longer to heal than physical ones ( if they can be healed) so you need to be extremely patient right now!.
Her abandonment and abuse issues will definitely make it difficult for her to trust ANYONE at the moment, and your own immaturity and lack of affection - even if they were due to you being depressed - will only make things even more awkward right now!.
By the way, did you ever have any treatment or see a counsellor when you were depressed!? If you didn't, then there may be a chance it still lingers on the surface, so I think it might be a good idea to visit your gp and find out if you could benefit from treatment!.
She's being very sensible in wanting to sort out her issues before beginning a full - on relationship with anyone, including you as she needs to regain her mental strength first, so she can handle the stresses and strains of living with someone, so please don't imagine for one minute that she's stopped loving you!. The opposite is true - shes doing this because she DOES love you and she wants to give a little more to the relationship than she can at the moment, so see this as the ultimate expression of love!.
Hope you're both feeling better soon!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You do not back off,she need you and she depend on you in her way, and ,you are her friend and she expecting you to be there for her when she gets better, and can show you that she have a heart that love, and in return can give her your honest loveWww@Answer-Health@Com
Sounds like you do love each other and I believe you will work through this!. Hang in there, you have a lot of years and 3 children together, I am sure it will work out and all of this will be just a bad memory!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think you need to talk with her about what she needs from the relationship at the moment!. It would be best to just cool things for a while and give her as much support as she needs!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Perhaps you should consider going into some counseling together after her treatment is completed!. All those years and 3 kids - should at least give it a try!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You can't change the past!.!.!.you can't make someone love you!. Move on and good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com
i would hope that my boyfriend would be supportive of me and still love and accept me even with my mental issues!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
In my opinion you should get out while you can!. If she's telling you that she doesn't want to love you anymore, then if you stick around you're only going to end up smothering her and making her sick of you!. Let her go!. Give her some space!. Leave her alone for a few months or even years!. Let her see what life is like without you!. She might end up deciding that she can't live without you!. On the other hand, she might decide that she'd rather continue on her own!. Either way, your best bet is to let her figure that out by herself!. Don't smother her or you'll just drive her away really fast!Www@Answer-Health@Com
it sounds like she's trying to let you go and using her illness as an excuse!.You say that she been going out alot and is not cheating!.How do you no!? why after all these years that you have been there is she now saying she needs time!?something else is going on and she isn't being honest with you!.If it was me I would let her go and let her find her way!.why sit bck and wait for someone who might not come bck!.that's not fair to you and is setting some false hopes for your children!.If the two of you truly love each other then in time you will find that out, but until then go your own way and let her go hers!.Personally I think she is lying to you about what she is really up to!.Look at the big picture!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
a person with a mood disorder is can no more participate in a healthy relationship than a person with pneumonia can run a marathon!.
Just support her unconditionally until she gets treatment!. Don't coddle her as she will have to be very strong to get over the abuse, but don't add any pressure!.
BTW, once she gets the right treatment, you won't believe the change in her!. Talk to her then, not before!. Just be her friend!. She needs you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Just support her unconditionally until she gets treatment!. Don't coddle her as she will have to be very strong to get over the abuse, but don't add any pressure!.
BTW, once she gets the right treatment, you won't believe the change in her!. Talk to her then, not before!. Just be her friend!. She needs you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com