I need help with my self-esteem and confidence. Please be nice.?!
Question: I need help with my self-esteem and confidence!. Please be nice!.!?
My low self-esteem is really disturbing my life!. I have always thought bad about myself but things just keep getting worse!. I think I'm fat and unintelligent!. My unconfidence is mostly about the way I look!. Somedays I find my hips too small, then I find my thights too big or that my waist is too thick!. Or that my chest is flat and my ankles are fat!. I can spend the rest of the day making a list of my flaws!. I have/had an eating disorder, have been trying to recover for 6 months!. I have visited the therapist but they did nothing, just said that the main problem is the fact that my mother is an alcoholic who beats me from time to time!. But there's no way to help her, because she'd rather die than agree to get help!. By the way, I'm 15!. Never have had a boyfriend or anything, because I am just way too afraid to even meet a guy!. You might think that I'm just seeking for attention but I was just wondering, if any one else has gone through the same issues!. Just share your experience, please!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
At 15, I had no confidence!. I truly believed I was the most unattractive, unappealing, "weird" girl in my high school!. I thought I was fat and practically starved myself for a few years!. I hated my nose, my stomach, my legs, my face, my hair, and most anything you can imagine!. I avoided relationships with guys who pursued me, stayed in when friends wanted me to go out, and eventually ended up basically alone!.
Now I'm 20 and can finally look in the mirror and not see myself as fat or ugly!. I'm finally able to appreciate my face and body!. The catch is that I've recently developed psoriasis (a skin and joint disease)!. I don't know how much of my body it will eventually cover, but severe cases have been known to cover people almost entirely, even their faces and hands!. I try not to think about it, but I'm scared of developing the arthritis that can go along with this!.
If I could go back to my 15 year old self and talk to her, I'd somehow make her realize how beautiful she is and how she's a worthwhile and interesting person!. If I could go back to before I had this disfiguring disease, I would wear the clothes I wanted to wear and love my body!. I would go out with the guys I liked and have a good time!. I would understand that I'm just as valuable as anyone else!. These are probably just words to you, but I feel them!. I feel the reality that no one has the upperhand and I was the one isolating myself and crying over imagined flaws!.
Long story short, appreciate what you have right now!. It can all be taken away from you in the blink of an eye!. You can wake up with anything from psoriasis to cancer!. While you're not in pain, presumably have two working legs, and have the opportunity to build some of the best memories of your life - do it! If I could go back in time, I would LIVE and forget the physical things I thought were wrong with me!. Please don't let this pass by; I'll always regret wasting away my teenage years!. Please shake yourself out of this and see yourself as you really are!. There will be a day when you realize you're beautiful - don't let it be after things have changed and you can't go back!. Regret has the ability to eat you alive, and that is an understatement!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Now I'm 20 and can finally look in the mirror and not see myself as fat or ugly!. I'm finally able to appreciate my face and body!. The catch is that I've recently developed psoriasis (a skin and joint disease)!. I don't know how much of my body it will eventually cover, but severe cases have been known to cover people almost entirely, even their faces and hands!. I try not to think about it, but I'm scared of developing the arthritis that can go along with this!.
If I could go back to my 15 year old self and talk to her, I'd somehow make her realize how beautiful she is and how she's a worthwhile and interesting person!. If I could go back to before I had this disfiguring disease, I would wear the clothes I wanted to wear and love my body!. I would go out with the guys I liked and have a good time!. I would understand that I'm just as valuable as anyone else!. These are probably just words to you, but I feel them!. I feel the reality that no one has the upperhand and I was the one isolating myself and crying over imagined flaws!.
Long story short, appreciate what you have right now!. It can all be taken away from you in the blink of an eye!. You can wake up with anything from psoriasis to cancer!. While you're not in pain, presumably have two working legs, and have the opportunity to build some of the best memories of your life - do it! If I could go back in time, I would LIVE and forget the physical things I thought were wrong with me!. Please don't let this pass by; I'll always regret wasting away my teenage years!. Please shake yourself out of this and see yourself as you really are!. There will be a day when you realize you're beautiful - don't let it be after things have changed and you can't go back!. Regret has the ability to eat you alive, and that is an understatement!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I would recommend therapy again!.Sorry that the previous counselor did nothing for you, but it is a process!.Try looking for someone else more helpful!. Or start by reading self-help books by Dr!.Phil or someone else you like/respect!. Or refer to the National Mental Health website for more ideas/references!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Prayer helps alot, and God will comfort you Shawnna!. Pray with your heart and I also will pray for you!. Sweet heart many of us have had alcoholic parents, and alanon helped me greatly also!. I'm in your corner girlfriend, and you've got good things comming your way!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I have curly brown hair, brown eyes, and tanned skin!. Apparently these traits are cute on a guy, but I hate them!. I feel guilty as there are some people in the world who don't even have hair or nice skin, but I keep wanting to be pale, have blue eyes, and blonde hair!. I think I'm too fat as well sometimes, and the relationships I've had are only painful!. I'm 15 as well, and people keep diagnosing this as "teen years" and "hormones", but I get fed up! I feel like I'm ugly and I'm very unconfident!. My parents have had a stormy relationship, my Mum is dating this guy and I always get the impression that my Dad is always sad!. Somehow, through all this, I manage to be brave and put on a smile, as nobody likes someone who's always down and depressed!. I put my faith in God, and I always feel guilty and bad about myself when I do something wrong, but happy when I do something good and right!. I like to think I have a bright future ahead of me (which is quite true), and I plan to go to a great university, get a great job, and enjoy life!. Unfortunately, these are the hardest things to do as a teen!.
Hope this helps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Hope this helps!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
As an adolescent I was devastated by my thin build, I know how you feel!. Now that I am much older I realize that nobody paid any attention to my physique!. Don't fret, do what you can to improve you body, be cheerful and friendly, be a good listener during and conversation and never bad mouth any person!. You are not alone, you are going through a hard phase of life, you must convince yourself that are as good as anyone else, because you really are!. Don't use your mother's condition as a crutch, it is not your fault!. I can assure you that that there are young males out there who find you attractive, hold you head high and be proud, you are asking for a help, many don't!. Good luck to you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Not cool that your mom beats you from time to time!. get out of there!. you have rights!. when I was 15 i finally said no to the abuse from my father!. i ran to a pay phone and dialed 911 during a beating!. i was placed in a foster home!. they ended up being my saviors!. it is the best thing that i every did!. my self esteem sky rocketed!. i am 34 now, very happy, with a 12 year old boy that i would never lay a hand on!. chin up! do something about it! it will be the hardest thing you will ever do!. i have a great relationship with my father now but only because i let him know it was not okay!. the court ordered him to go through counseling before he could have visitation!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Most people do have low self esteem, and I am one of them!. I don't know if you'll want to do this or not, but what came to me is that you need to join a self help group!. I know that does not seem at all appealling, but if you could talk to someone who has the same problem as you, I think it would really help!. The first step is always the hardest, and the rest should follow!. Talk to your Guidance Councelor about a group such as that!. I think it would be beneficial!. I know that I'm probably the last person you would take advice from, but the thing is, if you don't like it after you've gone to some meetings, you can always stop!. Another thing I have found that helps is actually to -and I know this sounds crazy- people watch!. Just sit down on a park bench and look at the world around you!. Notice how every person has a redeeming quality about them!. Look at their clothes, how they walk, what they look like!. Some of the most beautiful people you see may have the lowest self esteem!. A lot of the things you hate about yourself are things that men and women love/want!. For instance, do you think it's easy for someone with wide hips!? I have large hips and butt, so my pant sizes are larger than everyone else!. That does not make me feel confident!. Small hips can be a blessing! So can smaller breasts!.Some Women with larger breasts are more uncomfortable, because they feel like people are staring at them!. You are beautiful as you are, all you need to do is see it!. So, I think you should try to look at your surroundings, at the people around you,and think about how they must feel!. It's your life, and your choice, so I really hope that you benefeit from whatever you do!.Best of luck to you!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm 31 and I have lots of flaws!. I'm mentally ill, I live with my parents, I'm on welfare, I haven't had a girlfriend in 8 years, etc!. I had very low self esteem and I used to let these thoughts run through my head until I wanted to die!. finally I just realized that I need to accept myself for who I am!. That was the turning point!. I stopped caring what other people might think about my life!. If you can try to do the same and it will help!. By the way I know for a fact that you will find a guy who thinks you are pretty and you will find love!. Good luck to you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You sound very much like a sensitive, caring person!. You need to be sensitive in your evaluation of yourself!. Don't assume that people don't like you or that you are too fat or too flat chested!. Don't be so hard on yourself!. If you have a negative impression of yourself you will not give others a chnace to make their own, fair evaluation of you!.
You are 15!. While it is never obvious to the rest of us every 15 year old has anxiety and self doubt whether it is the class president or the head cheerleader!. You need to realize that for yourself!.
It will help you to have a success!. Find something that you do best and excel at it!. Work to make the best grades!. Volunteer to help school clubs raise funds or help the community!.
You are valuable and can make a difference if only you will try!.
YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!.!.!.and that means you are important!. Let yourself know that!.
My guess is that you are muh more attractive than you realize!. Let others see that!. Smile and greet everyone and soon you will see them do the same!.
I remember well at your age believing no one liked me and that I was so different no one ever would, but when I gave people a chance I found out that just wasn't true!.
Give people and yourself a chance!. It will get better!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You are 15!. While it is never obvious to the rest of us every 15 year old has anxiety and self doubt whether it is the class president or the head cheerleader!. You need to realize that for yourself!.
It will help you to have a success!. Find something that you do best and excel at it!. Work to make the best grades!. Volunteer to help school clubs raise funds or help the community!.
You are valuable and can make a difference if only you will try!.
YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!.!.!.and that means you are important!. Let yourself know that!.
My guess is that you are muh more attractive than you realize!. Let others see that!. Smile and greet everyone and soon you will see them do the same!.
I remember well at your age believing no one liked me and that I was so different no one ever would, but when I gave people a chance I found out that just wasn't true!.
Give people and yourself a chance!. It will get better!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know people have probably told you there are people who have it ten times worse out there!. but that doesn't mean you have to be thankful for **** you dont have!. I'm just gonna tell you, you only live once and make the best of it!. you appearance means a lot to you throughout most of your life!. look at some magazines, and get a visual perspective of what you want to be like, and motion your brain that way, to give yourself a makeover if you feel so!. looking different also makes you feel different!. you just gotta be able to give in to new things and challenge yourself!. talk to guys, act like you have confidence, because those things although they're fake inside, can build real confidence inside!.
I hope things get better for you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I hope things get better for you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I had the same issues!. I was 245 lbs when I graduated high school!. My mom used to beat me out of bed every morning and call me fat names!. I am now a successful adult and I have a totally different outlook!. I became friends with this girl who was a model!. She is thin, and beautiful with gorgeous blonde hair and green eyes!. She can eat anything she wants and never gains a pound!. I was sure she had an eating disorder until I knew her long enough, and she doesn't!. She is so lucky, she can get anything she wants with a bat of her eyelashes!. But you know something!.!. She hates the way she looks!. She is my best friend now and I have been friends with her for 12 years!. She could and would change a lot of things about herself!. She is never content, ever!. All the men she ever dated were all into having her as a trophy instead of really meaning to be with her!. They were despicable men who after time passed would discard her like trash!. After moving away from my mom at 18, I lost 20lbs, and I was 225lbs!. Still very much overweight!. I had trashy older guys that had too much baggage hit on me, and I would accept them just because I thought that I couldn't have anyone better!. They would treat me like trash and I would let them!. Until one day that I was left alone!. I was certain I would never find anyone decent!. And then one day, an EXTREMELY handsome, amazing co-worker of mine showed his interest in me, and I was shocked!. He was much older but being with him I realized!. Guys are looking for different things than us girls realize!. He liked bigger girls with large calves!. Weird, but true! He was divorced with 5 children, and he told me that one day I would break his heart and he already knew it!. And then one day!.!.!. I had changed jobs, and I saw the side of this guys face!. I didn't even see him all the way, and something in my head said, "This is the person you will be with for the rest of your life!." And so I walked up to him and I told him!. He thought I was strange!. I invited him to my house and he declined!. So I left him alone!. And then one day, he came over and washed my hands in the sink!. That was so strange, but so beautiful and romantic!. He was so handsome!. We have been together for 8 years, and I have had 2 children with him and we are expecting a 3rd!. I reached 276 lbs with each pregnancy and he tells me I'm beautiful everyday!. We never fight and he helps alot with the house work and children without being asked!. I wish you will see, turn off the television and don't look at the magazines for a while!. These things aren't real!. Hold your head up high!. You are perfect and beautiful to exactly the right person!. You just haven't found that person yet!. You are still so young!. Concentrate on your education, and let life come to you!. Everything will work out just go with the flow instead of trying to fight it like it sounds like you have been doing!. Love yourself so that the person you are meant the be with can be loved by you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Ok, so I can't say that I have been in EXACTLY the same boat, but I have been 15 and I had a very abusive childhood!. I understnd your self esteem issues completely!. When I was young my mom had married a very cruel man!. He didn't really want much to do with us kids, but he sure did love to ridicule and since I'm the oldest, I got the most!.
Honey your perspective of yourself right now is not clear!. Your mother has beaten you down so far that you have come to believe what she is saying/doing to you is what you deserve!. Don't let anyone take that power from you!. That is something that I had to see!. Maybe she can beat you, and physically control you, but mentally she can only do it if you believe what she is saying!.
My stepfather used to tell me how fat I was, that I looked like I was chinese,(not that that's really a put down, but that's what he meant by it, and it hurt!.) Sweetheart believe it or not, I model part time now!. I have a portfolio and everything!. I am beautiful, and I had to see that and not let him stay in my head forever!. I'm 25 now and it took me just until a couple yrs ago to realize that!. Mind you I haven't seen this guy since I was about 17!. So even though he wasn't even there, he was in my head!.
The counseler you went to, excuse me for saying it like this, but he was full of sh$%!. Not every counseler really knows what they are doing!. Please go talk to someone, and keep talking until someone listens and gets it!. Honestly, I don't think you should be in the home with your mom either!. You really don't need to deal with her problems!. You need to worry about you and what you need to do to be happy!. A lot of us still make mistakes once we have children, but at that point it needs to be about the child!. Sweety, I swear you are worth it!. I don't evn know you and I can tell!. Please believe that yourself!. You are still very young, but you know what's right!. So do what's right for you!. Find some peace for yourself and really try to start loving yourself!. You will never be "perfect" physically, but that dosen't mean you can't love every inch of it:) Good luck hun!. Feel free to contact me if you ever need to chat my email address is oh_so_devine25@yahoo!. Take careWww@Answer-Health@Com
Honey your perspective of yourself right now is not clear!. Your mother has beaten you down so far that you have come to believe what she is saying/doing to you is what you deserve!. Don't let anyone take that power from you!. That is something that I had to see!. Maybe she can beat you, and physically control you, but mentally she can only do it if you believe what she is saying!.
My stepfather used to tell me how fat I was, that I looked like I was chinese,(not that that's really a put down, but that's what he meant by it, and it hurt!.) Sweetheart believe it or not, I model part time now!. I have a portfolio and everything!. I am beautiful, and I had to see that and not let him stay in my head forever!. I'm 25 now and it took me just until a couple yrs ago to realize that!. Mind you I haven't seen this guy since I was about 17!. So even though he wasn't even there, he was in my head!.
The counseler you went to, excuse me for saying it like this, but he was full of sh$%!. Not every counseler really knows what they are doing!. Please go talk to someone, and keep talking until someone listens and gets it!. Honestly, I don't think you should be in the home with your mom either!. You really don't need to deal with her problems!. You need to worry about you and what you need to do to be happy!. A lot of us still make mistakes once we have children, but at that point it needs to be about the child!. Sweety, I swear you are worth it!. I don't evn know you and I can tell!. Please believe that yourself!. You are still very young, but you know what's right!. So do what's right for you!. Find some peace for yourself and really try to start loving yourself!. You will never be "perfect" physically, but that dosen't mean you can't love every inch of it:) Good luck hun!. Feel free to contact me if you ever need to chat my email address is oh_so_devine25@yahoo!. Take careWww@Answer-Health@Com