Are all alcoholics self-centered and egotistical?!
Question: Are all alcoholics self-centered and egotistical!?
In the Big Book, the offical book of AA, it says that all alcholics are selfish, egotistical, and need ego-deflation!.
In AA they focus on deflating the ego of the alcoholic!. I have a friend that's an alcoholic and he drinks because he feels worthless and depressed!. How will ego-deflation help him!? Making him feel more depressed!?
Why do they have such black and white thinking, claiming that ALL alcholics are egotistical!? Do they believe that there are individual differences!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
In AA they focus on deflating the ego of the alcoholic!. I have a friend that's an alcoholic and he drinks because he feels worthless and depressed!. How will ego-deflation help him!? Making him feel more depressed!?
Why do they have such black and white thinking, claiming that ALL alcholics are egotistical!? Do they believe that there are individual differences!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Yes, in AA they do believe exactly that!. ALL alcoholics are "self will run riot" as far as AA dogma is concerned!.!.!.in fact the problem underlying the "disease" itself is "self-centered fear"!.
You are absolutely correct that this view presents an enormous problem for those who have problems with self-esteem!. When you already think you are the lowest form of life on the planet, it doesn't help to be told that you are a prideful person whose ego requires "deflation!."
It has been almost 10 years since my last drink and I struggled with the AA program for a very long time, trying to believe what I was told and trying to accept that it was God and AA that were keeping me sober; but when I brought up issues such as this one, I was usually told that I could not trust myself to think rationally!. Eventually, though, I did recover some self-esteem (through therapy, not AA!) and left the program!. (At which point I was told I was sure to drink again!)
AA is really such nonsense, and it is simply a travesty that it has such a monopoly on the treatment industry in the US!. It is little more than faith-healing, and it does not even work any better than just quitting on your own!
Tell your friend to try some decent individual counseling with a NON 12 step therapist (they exist) and maybe look up Smart Recovery on the internet!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You are absolutely correct that this view presents an enormous problem for those who have problems with self-esteem!. When you already think you are the lowest form of life on the planet, it doesn't help to be told that you are a prideful person whose ego requires "deflation!."
It has been almost 10 years since my last drink and I struggled with the AA program for a very long time, trying to believe what I was told and trying to accept that it was God and AA that were keeping me sober; but when I brought up issues such as this one, I was usually told that I could not trust myself to think rationally!. Eventually, though, I did recover some self-esteem (through therapy, not AA!) and left the program!. (At which point I was told I was sure to drink again!)
AA is really such nonsense, and it is simply a travesty that it has such a monopoly on the treatment industry in the US!. It is little more than faith-healing, and it does not even work any better than just quitting on your own!
Tell your friend to try some decent individual counseling with a NON 12 step therapist (they exist) and maybe look up Smart Recovery on the internet!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I wouldn't say they are all egotistical and self-centered though they probably all are while drinking!. I really don't think the AA approach works for everybody and I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't work for most people!. The problem with alcoholics is that they are usually people with self-esteem issues to begin with and alcohol makes them feel better so they drink!. It's a way to forget temporarily how they feel about themselves!. Seems it would be better to help that person find something that they truly enjoy and are good at!.
Many of the AAers I know keep going because they transferred their addiction from alcohol to AA!. I know one who goes to meetings 5 times a week and she's been sober nearly 5 years!.
My husband had to attend as one of the requirements of getting his license back after a DUI!. He went only as much as court-ordered and hasn't been back since!. He didn't have a drink for almost a year and now has an occasional beer with friends when we have a barbecue but he does it at home and maybe only once every month or two!. Now we're remodeling our house, he goes fishing more often (and he's a big believer in keeping the beer and the boat away from each other), and he's shooting pool in tournaments and on leagues!. Though many recovering alcoholics and AA will say an alcoholic can never have a drink again I don't think that's true for everyone!. Like losing weight, it's a lifestyle change and until the alcoholic chooses to change his behavior nothing, including AA, will be able to force him to do so!. Some people will be lifelong alcoholics and bad ones, but alot of people can kick it successfully with a positive attitude, different thinking, and alot of support from family and friends!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Many of the AAers I know keep going because they transferred their addiction from alcohol to AA!. I know one who goes to meetings 5 times a week and she's been sober nearly 5 years!.
My husband had to attend as one of the requirements of getting his license back after a DUI!. He went only as much as court-ordered and hasn't been back since!. He didn't have a drink for almost a year and now has an occasional beer with friends when we have a barbecue but he does it at home and maybe only once every month or two!. Now we're remodeling our house, he goes fishing more often (and he's a big believer in keeping the beer and the boat away from each other), and he's shooting pool in tournaments and on leagues!. Though many recovering alcoholics and AA will say an alcoholic can never have a drink again I don't think that's true for everyone!. Like losing weight, it's a lifestyle change and until the alcoholic chooses to change his behavior nothing, including AA, will be able to force him to do so!. Some people will be lifelong alcoholics and bad ones, but alot of people can kick it successfully with a positive attitude, different thinking, and alot of support from family and friends!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
my husband is a recovering alcoholic and he drank,cause he was depressed and felt it was the only way to deal with problems,which he learned just backfired back at him!.Sometimes drinking makes a person who might be really shy be totally different than he was before!.Yes,i do believe they do know about the differences,but still the alcoholic has the same traits,which are typical!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well, I have just(may11) made my fourth year of sobriety!. I did it without AA or their dogma!. However, when they speak of the alcoholic ego I look at it more as the self pity aspect of the drunk mind!. The whiny " no one understands" I'm different than other drunks" kind of thing!. The truth is a booze hound with a problem is a booze hound with a problem!. I don't like or agree with AA but i do know that the puddle of vomit that alcoholics have to lift ourselves out off does smell pretty damn similarWww@Answer-Health@Com
I"m like that, exactly like your friend, and I think my ego plays a part in it, I refuse to go for help or let anybody help me, I think I have to deal with this myself, and my way of dealing with it is drinking, there are of course individual difference, with every single thing, a description cannot describe everybody!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
many seem to be self centered in some regard, but certainly there are some who dont fit the common characteristics !.
the main thing is that whatever the issue, that they get the tools to become more and more healthy!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
the main thing is that whatever the issue, that they get the tools to become more and more healthy!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Most of us are pretty egotistical!. What page does it talk about ego deflation!? I've been sober since 2001!.I don't claim to have read the Big Book from cover to cover!. We are also pretty manipulative,so watch out!.My name is Susan I hope Ive helped let me know!.Just look at the guy before me Master of what!?Www@Answer-Health@Com