Why am I still depressed 9 years later?!
Question: Why am I still depressed 9 years later!?
Ok so my dad dies when I was 10 and for some reason at 19 every song that talks about losing someone makes me cry and get depressed!. I have tried everything to get over his death but like tonight for instance I heard Mariah Carey's song Bye Bye for the first time and of course it triggered my depression and I went into crying mode, and I have been listrening to that song for the past hour and a half!. I go to see my dads grave every year on his bday, fathers day, and all major holidays could that be why I am still depressed till this day!? Any advice would be greatly appreciated!.!.
and to add to the pain i watched him die we wanted him to live his final days at home and he was home 5 days b4 he died in front of me it hurts!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
and to add to the pain i watched him die we wanted him to live his final days at home and he was home 5 days b4 he died in front of me it hurts!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Dear Heather:
I'm the father of a 17 year old son who lost his mother during "Questionable circumstances" AKA a suicide!. A death in a family is a hard thing to deal with!. A death of a parent is worse still!. I was 20 when my father passed away when I was in the service!. Obviously you were close to your Dad!. There's nothing wrong with that!. One poster asked about grief counciling!. That's always a good idea, but the short answer is, you'll be done, when you're done!. That's it!. Cherish the memories of your Dad!. It sounds so trite to say it, because it sounds like it comes right out of some song, but he was here for a little while and that may have made all the difference!. Remember all the smiles and goofy things you all did and keep them alive in your heart!. Believe it or not, it'll make you a better parent and person later in life!.
I know it hurts!. Believe me, I know!. When my ex- wife passed away, I felt bad, more for my son than I did for my ex, mainly because she was leading a high-risk life-style, and I knew after the divorce that this was where she was heading!. I just glad I was there for him to be there for him before he ended up a box of ashes with her!. I do have some fond memories of my ex- and I did love her, once upon a time!.
I also have fond memories of my Dad!. I remember he played High School Football and was great at math!. He had extraordinary patience and treated me like I was his son, not a step-son!. I remember his days attached to a hemodialysis machine, because of a rare blood condition, and watching him slowly die, slipping in and out of a coma, barely seeing me, standing straight and tall, in Tanker boots, camouflage fatigues and my Maroon beret, since he'd never seen me in it or me since I'd been stationed to Fort Bliss with 3rd Armored Cavalry!. I like to think that I'm a better father because of my step dad, and I do miss him!. Very much!. The short answer is one day, you'll be ready for it to be over when you feel that it's time to be over and begin to live for yourself, and not forget what you've been taught by such a fine man!.
Are you ready to live for yourself now, sweetie!?
Does that help!? I hope it does!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm the father of a 17 year old son who lost his mother during "Questionable circumstances" AKA a suicide!. A death in a family is a hard thing to deal with!. A death of a parent is worse still!. I was 20 when my father passed away when I was in the service!. Obviously you were close to your Dad!. There's nothing wrong with that!. One poster asked about grief counciling!. That's always a good idea, but the short answer is, you'll be done, when you're done!. That's it!. Cherish the memories of your Dad!. It sounds so trite to say it, because it sounds like it comes right out of some song, but he was here for a little while and that may have made all the difference!. Remember all the smiles and goofy things you all did and keep them alive in your heart!. Believe it or not, it'll make you a better parent and person later in life!.
I know it hurts!. Believe me, I know!. When my ex- wife passed away, I felt bad, more for my son than I did for my ex, mainly because she was leading a high-risk life-style, and I knew after the divorce that this was where she was heading!. I just glad I was there for him to be there for him before he ended up a box of ashes with her!. I do have some fond memories of my ex- and I did love her, once upon a time!.
I also have fond memories of my Dad!. I remember he played High School Football and was great at math!. He had extraordinary patience and treated me like I was his son, not a step-son!. I remember his days attached to a hemodialysis machine, because of a rare blood condition, and watching him slowly die, slipping in and out of a coma, barely seeing me, standing straight and tall, in Tanker boots, camouflage fatigues and my Maroon beret, since he'd never seen me in it or me since I'd been stationed to Fort Bliss with 3rd Armored Cavalry!. I like to think that I'm a better father because of my step dad, and I do miss him!. Very much!. The short answer is one day, you'll be ready for it to be over when you feel that it's time to be over and begin to live for yourself, and not forget what you've been taught by such a fine man!.
Are you ready to live for yourself now, sweetie!?
Does that help!? I hope it does!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't see that you are "depressed" at all!. You are hurt and you miss him tremendously!. That's okay!. That is natural!. Some of the added pain that you might be feeling is that fact that you do miss him and somehow feel that you shouldn't!. As if there is something wrong with crying over that dad that loved you!. Gosh!.!.!. let your tears flow!.!. Daddy is watching you from heaven!. Don't feel guilty!.!.!. at all!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Death is something that we often never "get over" we have a connection with our relatives, and we will miss them and mourn for our loss!. It is just one of the things as adults we deal with!.
If this interferes with your life you need to talk with a counselor, you might even be suffering from depression!.
It all depends on how you are able to function in general!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
If this interferes with your life you need to talk with a counselor, you might even be suffering from depression!.
It all depends on how you are able to function in general!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Probably because you've never really got the chance to confront it or talk about it with someone!. You need to get all of those feelings out, even if you end up crying!. Believe me, you'll feel a lot more closure!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
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Have you seen a grief counselor!? They are trained in helping people work through their grief over the loss of a loved one!. They can also identify when it becomes something more that requires further treatment!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
get help now!Www@Answer-Health@Com
i lost my mother!.!.she was my best friend!.!.i dwelled on her death for 10 years!.!.i missed her sooooo much!.!.!.when she first died, i prayed , as i was looking at the skys, to see her one more time!.!.!.i got a glance in the clouds of her face!.!.but that was all!.!.after 10 years of dwellling on this ,,i finally had a break down!.!. while i lay for 4 months on the couch, wondering what was wrong!.!.i knew it was my past thoughts, and thinking continuously about my mother!.!.!. one day i just laid down to take breathing exercises and my mother appeared to me!.!.she was beautiful and very happy!.!.!. it was so wonderful!.!.!. maybe god will give you this too,, but you must remember that your father is in a happy place and he would not want you to worry about him!.!.he is fine!.!.and wants you to be fine too!. you have to let your father go,, and go on with your life as i am sure he would want you too!.!.otherwise you will run into a lot of problems with your mind and body!.!.!. love your father and remember all the good times!.!.!. never forget him!.!.!.but let him go,let him rest for a while,, and you rest too!.!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com