Can you help this single mommy who's dating again?!
Question: Can you help this single mommy who's dating again!?
I have two daughters 5 and 1!. My marriage ended a year and a half ago, and I've recently (four months ago) began dating a new man!. He's wonderful!. I know he's in love with me and he is falling in love with my kids, too!.
Thing is, although my little girl (5) plays with him and gives him an occasional hug, I think she resents that mommy has a boyfriend!.
Trust me, I love my children more than life itself, and I know that their lives have been a little topsy turvy lately with the divorce and being shifted back and forth between their dad's (every other weekend) and home!.
I just want to know what to tell her, if there are any certain things I could say to her to make her feel more secure and comfortable in this situation!.
Anyone have any good advice!?
Thank you in advance!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Thing is, although my little girl (5) plays with him and gives him an occasional hug, I think she resents that mommy has a boyfriend!.
Trust me, I love my children more than life itself, and I know that their lives have been a little topsy turvy lately with the divorce and being shifted back and forth between their dad's (every other weekend) and home!.
I just want to know what to tell her, if there are any certain things I could say to her to make her feel more secure and comfortable in this situation!.
Anyone have any good advice!?
Thank you in advance!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Resentment is a common emotion in blending families!. She may not even understand why she feels like she does!. Jealousy may be more of the emotion than resentment!. Talking to her and reassuring her that Daddy still loves her, she needs to know you still love her and your bf will not replace her or her dad!. She is probably needy at this time of turmoil and just needs the security!. Unfortunately, with kids being involved you need to be careful that the men you date don't rotate through!. It sounds like this is a serious relationship, so I don't think that's a problem!. If bf is going to become hubby, talk to her about it and what will be changed in the house <he will be sleeping in your room, locking bath/bedroom doors!.> Barnes and nobles has a section of children's books that may help her understand her feelings and help her put them in perspective!. Prepare yourself, people resist change even good changes and she may tantrum, just let her know this is not acceptable!. Be patient with her and try to let her have some of the minor decision making in the relationship give her choices you can live with, ie where should his stuff go in the house<when or if it gets that far>,or like where to go out to eat or what activity to do movies/putt putt golf/ amusement park!. Of course you need to prepare for a night of chuckie cheese pizza followed by a dose of cotton candy but this may help her not feel out of the loop!. this doesn't mean she gets to everytime or go on every date!. My daughter's step dad took her to choose the ring for our engagement they made a beautiful choice and it meant more to me because she helped, but that does not mean it was always rosy, I have heard the "your not my dad" mantra many times!. But we agree that no he is not, but he loves you like one and you still have to listen to him!. You may be faced with the playing one against the other, he said I could or mom lets me!. Keep a united front!. You may need to have some private conversations prior to giving permission!. It is amazing what differences can come out in people when it comes to child rearing methods!. <my favorite examples (my hubby felt that shorts and a blanket work for 40F weather- I feel pants and a jacket, then it is okay to go play before chores- I feel work first play later, stupid stuff but can get ugly)Good luck and I hoped this helped!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Hi there,
how about a heart to heart with her, and taking her for a treat say chocolate cookie ice cream with some fizz and test her to find out what she thinks of you and your new boyfriend!.
From her answers you should be able to gage if she has issues with it and if she does you can work out a strategy for dealing with it and any problems with your bf!. If he feels the same about you I am sure it can all be worked out!.
Good luck and I hope it works out for you !Www@Answer-Health@Com
how about a heart to heart with her, and taking her for a treat say chocolate cookie ice cream with some fizz and test her to find out what she thinks of you and your new boyfriend!.
From her answers you should be able to gage if she has issues with it and if she does you can work out a strategy for dealing with it and any problems with your bf!. If he feels the same about you I am sure it can all be worked out!.
Good luck and I hope it works out for you !Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think it is important that you tell your children they will always come first in your life, and by meeting a new partner, doesn't take away that special relationship you have with them!. Try and include them in things you do together so they don't feel left out!. It will take time but they will come round, ive been there!. Good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com
Tell her that the love between her and mommy is a forever love !.!.!. and give her a little more attention if she needs it !.!.!.When I got girlfriends after my divorce !.!. I talked about it with my son , made him part of the process!. now he has a step mom who he loves !. I just made sure he knew that he came first in dad's life!.
Good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
You need to get to the root of the resentment!. It could be that she is worried that daddy will be replaced!. Take the time to assure her that this is not the case!. If you find out the reason then you can deal with it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
it's normal; yet,explain to her, even she's young, all the reasons, roots, and details of the situation you've currently living in!.!. but i think it's ok of dating bec!. it's a way of moving on!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com