Please help me. I'm begging you? Tiny bit long but please?!
Question: Please help me!. I'm begging you!? Tiny bit long but please!?
Ive been very depressed all through my freshman year of highschool, never been depressed this much!. I had a lot of friends in 8th that all went to completely dif highschools!. Also i thought i was sooo pretty in middle school!. (Weird, right) Then i go and bleach my hair perm damaging it ugh, i'm so stupid for doing that!.
I keep thinking of how fast this year flew by, how all my friends are changing inside and out, how every time i lookj in the mirror i feel like ive gotten uglier then the day before!. Ive never bee this insecure in my life!. I'm in love with the most amazing guy, we liked eachother ever since 7th!. He still loves me even though we go to dif schools, were both VERY shy and only hung out once!. Can't help but feel hes way to good for me and i just want to tell him to love someoneelse whos prettier and more smarter then me!. I seriously 100 percent respect this guy, and very intidated by his deep voice masculin voice!. Havent seen him in 9 months but we talk on AIM!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I keep thinking of how fast this year flew by, how all my friends are changing inside and out, how every time i lookj in the mirror i feel like ive gotten uglier then the day before!. Ive never bee this insecure in my life!. I'm in love with the most amazing guy, we liked eachother ever since 7th!. He still loves me even though we go to dif schools, were both VERY shy and only hung out once!. Can't help but feel hes way to good for me and i just want to tell him to love someoneelse whos prettier and more smarter then me!. I seriously 100 percent respect this guy, and very intidated by his deep voice masculin voice!. Havent seen him in 9 months but we talk on AIM!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
View the information and weblinks for social anxiety/shyness, and self confidence, in sections 9, and 38, at http://www!.ezy-build!.net!.nz/~shaneris Here is an exercise that can help you!. It is called "Act as If!." When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing!. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone!. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior!.
Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior!. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy!. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit!.
Try this for a month, in every situation you can!. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing!. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave!.
People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot"!. But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy)!. Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally!. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often!. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me"!.
Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind!.
Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication!. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger!. OOOOO Rewind your mistakes!. Let's say you want to change an annoying laugh that you have, when you hear something funny, your old laugh will come out!. You have to immediately think of what you wanted to happen, (i!.e!. your new, practiced laugh) and then do it immediately!. It will be a little bit late, but slowly you will start to pair the two together, and eventually your brain will become conditioned to switch the first for the second!. It usually takes 30 - 40 repetitions, to instill a new habit, with most people, so I estimate a similar amount, in the reprogramming process!. ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Depression is addressed in section 2: see page Z!.12 first!. If he doesn't want a serious relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment, in the long term!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Research shows that when you "act as if" continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior!. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy!. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit!.
Try this for a month, in every situation you can!. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing!. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm queen/king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave!.
People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot"!. But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy)!. Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally!. It is endearing, if you don't do it too often!. Use positive affirmations: for example: "I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me"!.
Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind!.
Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication!. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger!. OOOOO Rewind your mistakes!. Let's say you want to change an annoying laugh that you have, when you hear something funny, your old laugh will come out!. You have to immediately think of what you wanted to happen, (i!.e!. your new, practiced laugh) and then do it immediately!. It will be a little bit late, but slowly you will start to pair the two together, and eventually your brain will become conditioned to switch the first for the second!. It usually takes 30 - 40 repetitions, to instill a new habit, with most people, so I estimate a similar amount, in the reprogramming process!. ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Depression is addressed in section 2: see page Z!.12 first!. If he doesn't want a serious relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment, in the long term!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You can try anti depressants but if you don't want that then try this: First of all think of all the happy times in your life!. Put them together!. Then if its possible try to relive those moments again and then from their start a new happier life!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Give yourself a break , already!!
The only thing that i feel that you need to be aware of is perpective!. You don't have any major , major problems but are letting little things get to you!.
Your hair , for example!. So you make a mistake!. Are you the only person in the world to ever have made a mistake!? why hang yourself out to dry over it!? When you look back at it ten years from now, will it really matter all that much!?
If you have an interest in a "most amazing guy" then you are ahead of the game, and in an enviable position!. Why ruin it by letting negative self-image creep in!? I'm sure the guy sees qualities in you that he appreciates and wants to be with you for those qualities!.
Anyway i don't really want to write a book here, so i'll keep my advice short:
Perspective is so important in life!. How you see things can make the difference between being happy and not!. Don't sweat the small stuff, and concentrate on trying to be happy with yourself!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The only thing that i feel that you need to be aware of is perpective!. You don't have any major , major problems but are letting little things get to you!.
Your hair , for example!. So you make a mistake!. Are you the only person in the world to ever have made a mistake!? why hang yourself out to dry over it!? When you look back at it ten years from now, will it really matter all that much!?
If you have an interest in a "most amazing guy" then you are ahead of the game, and in an enviable position!. Why ruin it by letting negative self-image creep in!? I'm sure the guy sees qualities in you that he appreciates and wants to be with you for those qualities!.
Anyway i don't really want to write a book here, so i'll keep my advice short:
Perspective is so important in life!. How you see things can make the difference between being happy and not!. Don't sweat the small stuff, and concentrate on trying to be happy with yourself!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You know what I think that you should know this right now before you go any further!. Your not ugly, A guy likes confidence in a girl and if they don't see that they tend to think that you don't care about them as much as they thought you did!. Hey if you think that your pretty and you honestly know it then that's a good thing!. You just have to learn to show self confidence!. If he goes to another high school then you do and AIM is the only way that you can see him then you know what find out ways that you guys can see one another!. I will be 17 June 22 and used to think the same way but then I relized that i had friends who liked me and that was all that mattered to me!. Shouldn't that matter to you also!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Hi jade,
You have to assess your life, ive been in a very similar situation before!. When it comes to matters of the heart it can be intensely difficult to be rational!. I've had my heart broken a fair few times, and from your situation I think the best course is direct action!.
Your depression is steming from the fact you don't know the outcome, if you face it and tell him how you feel two things can happen, either he will accept you or not!. If he does you got what you want, if he doesn't then you can collect yourself and move on!. Lingering in this depressed limbo wont be doing you any favours!. I longed for this girl for my freshman year but through fear I didnt act and I completely screwed my life up, I thought i wanted to die it was so bad!.
You find once you realise how much life has to offer that you can push through, there are other guys (i know that always sounds hollow when someone else says it), if you are just friends from then on it isnt the end of the world!.
At the end of the day you have to control the circumstances not let the circumstances control you, think about what you are going to do, then DO it!.
I hope that helps! Contact me if you need a guys perspective!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You have to assess your life, ive been in a very similar situation before!. When it comes to matters of the heart it can be intensely difficult to be rational!. I've had my heart broken a fair few times, and from your situation I think the best course is direct action!.
Your depression is steming from the fact you don't know the outcome, if you face it and tell him how you feel two things can happen, either he will accept you or not!. If he does you got what you want, if he doesn't then you can collect yourself and move on!. Lingering in this depressed limbo wont be doing you any favours!. I longed for this girl for my freshman year but through fear I didnt act and I completely screwed my life up, I thought i wanted to die it was so bad!.
You find once you realise how much life has to offer that you can push through, there are other guys (i know that always sounds hollow when someone else says it), if you are just friends from then on it isnt the end of the world!.
At the end of the day you have to control the circumstances not let the circumstances control you, think about what you are going to do, then DO it!.
I hope that helps! Contact me if you need a guys perspective!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
We do get depressed and sad sometime in our life!. However, life is like a roller coaster, sometime you are up, sometime you are down!. You are depressed because of a guy and feeling yourself ugly is really absurb!. Maybe at your age, you are still too young to understand the cruelty of the reality in the world!.
Now, turn you mind to those victims of the recent cyclone in Burma and the Earthquake in China, those people are starving and doesnt even have a home right now, a HOME! Compare your GUY and UGLY problem to them, it seems like yours is just a tiny minor issue!.
I was pretty sad as well in the past few days but I always tell myself that I am lucky to be where I am now if I compare myself to those unfortunate people now suffering in the other part of the world!. This is life, you have to cope with problems that arises every once in a while, feeling depressed will not sort everything out!. You just have to find a way!. Wish you well!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Now, turn you mind to those victims of the recent cyclone in Burma and the Earthquake in China, those people are starving and doesnt even have a home right now, a HOME! Compare your GUY and UGLY problem to them, it seems like yours is just a tiny minor issue!.
I was pretty sad as well in the past few days but I always tell myself that I am lucky to be where I am now if I compare myself to those unfortunate people now suffering in the other part of the world!. This is life, you have to cope with problems that arises every once in a while, feeling depressed will not sort everything out!. You just have to find a way!. Wish you well!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
last year I did a course on leadership training and I learnt how to deal will my stress and basic depression!.
Firstly, I admire that you have tried to find out ways of feeling better and have posed your question!. You have shown courage!
Secondly, I want you to think about what you want to achieve!. - do you want to feel great, or make this guy feel great, or even both!?
This part is the fun part!. Every morning you wake up, think of what you are going to do differently!. For example, when I wake up I thank G-d and give a smile!. If I feel good about myself, others feel good!. Every day expand slightly by doing something extra which can be categorised as emotional, physical, social or religious!. I used to be very lonely, but I have dealt with this by going out more, even I if don't want to and now I have loads of friends!
I also want you to make a diary of how you love yourself!. Everyday add 10 things in the categories mentioned before!. When you feel sad, look at them and they will cheer you up!. Trust me!
This next point is interesting and can be really wacky!. Every time you feel yourself becoming upset, do something weird to make you forget!. I used to fight with my brother a lot, but now, whenever i feel like fighting i start singing 'a boy named sue' by Jonny cash and it cheers me up and makes us laugh!
If you want to correspond about this matter further, I would love to help!
Here's my MSN - lefkylamppost@hotmail!.co!.uk
if you want to query me or use me to check up on you that you follow your targets i will be thrilled!
I wish you all the luck on the world!!!!!!!!!
Don't give up - I believe in youWww@Answer-Health@Com
Firstly, I admire that you have tried to find out ways of feeling better and have posed your question!. You have shown courage!
Secondly, I want you to think about what you want to achieve!. - do you want to feel great, or make this guy feel great, or even both!?
This part is the fun part!. Every morning you wake up, think of what you are going to do differently!. For example, when I wake up I thank G-d and give a smile!. If I feel good about myself, others feel good!. Every day expand slightly by doing something extra which can be categorised as emotional, physical, social or religious!. I used to be very lonely, but I have dealt with this by going out more, even I if don't want to and now I have loads of friends!
I also want you to make a diary of how you love yourself!. Everyday add 10 things in the categories mentioned before!. When you feel sad, look at them and they will cheer you up!. Trust me!
This next point is interesting and can be really wacky!. Every time you feel yourself becoming upset, do something weird to make you forget!. I used to fight with my brother a lot, but now, whenever i feel like fighting i start singing 'a boy named sue' by Jonny cash and it cheers me up and makes us laugh!
If you want to correspond about this matter further, I would love to help!
Here's my MSN - lefkylamppost@hotmail!.co!.uk
if you want to query me or use me to check up on you that you follow your targets i will be thrilled!
I wish you all the luck on the world!!!!!!!!!
Don't give up - I believe in youWww@Answer-Health@Com
I think it's perfectly normal to feel sad about your friends all going to different schools!. I remember that happening to me when I was a senior in high school, and all my friends graduated and moved away to college!. I felt so alone!. Like you I was also experimenting with my hair!.!.!.and it turned black right before my graduation!! The only thing that got me through the tough times were my friends and family!. I would listen to my favorite music (don't listen to depressing music it makes it worse), stay in touch with your friends at the other schools!. Can you still hang out with them on the weekends!? I know how tough it is!. Try to exercise, go shopping!.!.!.do tings to keep your mind off of it, and maybe you'll make some new friends as well!. About the boy, only time will tell whats going to happen with that!. Don't stress about it, because it will push him away!. Just try to stay the way you were , and don't let him know how insecure your feeling!.!.!.that's a big no no with men!. Total turn off!. If he's a good guy he'll be there for you no matter what!. Lastly, just go to the salon, and have them fix it for you!. Nothing with hair is permanant damage!. It may cost a bit, but bring in a picture and they can get it they ay you want!. Everything is going to be ok!. Your too young to be so stressed!. I wish you the best!.:)Www@Answer-Health@Com