Worried about my mate?!
Question: Worried about my mate!?
my friend has been having reli low self esteem latley, she refuses to go out with us anymore and shes bought all her holiday gear and its all jeans and stuff and im like why dont u get sum shorts or summin but she says she cant bear the thought of it!. shes reli down atm cz the guy she likes rejected her and she gets made fun of alot because of her size!. in school shes quieter than normal but no1s reli picked up on it cz they juz tend to ignore her in our group, i dno if shes eating at home but she dosent touch anything in school anymore, and when i say to her how come u wont eat in school!? she says because she dosent want ppl looking at her and thinking shes a greedy fat cow!. yh ill admit shes not slim but she shouldnt feel bad about it, ive offfered to join the gym with her which made her feel happy, but i wanna help her get back to the old her who was happy and didnt give a f*** wot other ppl thought!. how can i get her back to normal!?!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
First of all, I really respect you for being there for your friend, you truly are a good person!. As for helping her, give her a lot of encouragement, compliment her as much as possible, and let her know that you are there for her!. It's really good that you offered to go to the gym with her, you can also offer to go shopping with her, help her pick out some shorts or skirts and have her try them on and tell her how great she looks in them!. Don't shop at places that only sell regular sized clothing, shop at places like Macys and Old Navy, they sell regular sized clothes as well as plus size!. Her self esteem is weak because she THINKS she is too fat, so just try to encourage her as much as possible to her build her self esteem!. I'm kinda in the same situation, I am overweight and I use to always wear only jeans and black tops in the summer because I thought that I was TOO fat to wear shorts, skirts, and tank tops, but my sister really helped me!. My sister offered to work out with me, which we do, and she goes shopping with me and forces me to try on stuff that I usually wouldn't wear, and she tells me that it looks good, which makes me feel so much better about myself!. Just continue being the great friend that you are to her and she will eventually start to feel better about herself!. There should be more people in this world like you!Www@Answer-Health@Com
It's difficult for someone of 'normal' size to understand the complex emotional effect being overweight has on people!. It's especially hard when you've faced rejection!. The best thing you can do is stand by her side, help her to see herself in a positive light!. Instead of doing things which keep you both inside, suggest taking the dog for a walk together!. Do things which will subtly get her outside and moving!. Walking the mall is good too!. Although be careful to avoid shopping for clothes this will make her feel worse if she's not in a size that she can find in the 'normal' stores!. If she has to shop at plus size stores while you shop in regular stores, DO NOT shop for clothes she'll feel 100% worse! Help her talk through her feelings without pushing her to tell you everything!. She'll do so in her own time!. Continue to be her friend and don't push her to buy different clothes, shopping for clothes is embarrassing and humiliating in some aspects!. Perhaps a makeover!.!.!.!. new hair style, nails, pedicure!.!.!.!.Good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com
She sounds very insecure!. I was there and still fight it most days!. I was talking to a therapist about it and figured he'd pull the "They're not judging you" thing, to which I had a great comeback!. He didn't, though!. He said, "So what if they're judging you!? Can it really affect you if you don't let it!? Even if every person you passed on the street immediately started laughing when you walked by, is that your problem!? You'll probably never see most of them again, anyway!." At the end of the day, she's the only one she has to answer to - not the people she fears are judging her!. If she displays a serious lack of confidence like this, people will catch on and then lack respect for her!. It's a vicious cycle!.Www@Answer-Health@Com