I feel SO guilty...?!
Question: I feel SO guilty!.!.!.!?
My mum found out i self harm!. I'm 18 years old and she found out when i was VERY drunk!.
I've spoken to her a little but but can't explain things!. The next day she was really nice to me which i don't want!. I don't want any sympathy for this or anything to be different :(
I just walked into the living room and saw her lying where she's been for the last few hours and she was crying!. She blames herself and i can't convince her that it's not her fault!. I know that she's thinking she's a bad mother and has all sorts of things going through her mind!.
My friends also found out(same STUPID drunken night) and they keep texting to make sure i'm ok!.
I just want everything to be normal and for everyone who found out to just forget about it!. I know this can't happen though!.!.!.
Now i'm just sitting here with NO idea what to say/do!. I feel so guilty and i hate myself for putting people through this!. I know i deserve to feel this way!.
What should i do!?! I HATE this!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I've spoken to her a little but but can't explain things!. The next day she was really nice to me which i don't want!. I don't want any sympathy for this or anything to be different :(
I just walked into the living room and saw her lying where she's been for the last few hours and she was crying!. She blames herself and i can't convince her that it's not her fault!. I know that she's thinking she's a bad mother and has all sorts of things going through her mind!.
My friends also found out(same STUPID drunken night) and they keep texting to make sure i'm ok!.
I just want everything to be normal and for everyone who found out to just forget about it!. I know this can't happen though!.!.!.
Now i'm just sitting here with NO idea what to say/do!. I feel so guilty and i hate myself for putting people through this!. I know i deserve to feel this way!.
What should i do!?! I HATE this!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I went through this too!.
You seem like an intelligent girl, so you know that self-harm in teens is quite common for various reasons!. Your mother and your friends don't know this - and now neither do they care!. They are just worried about you now!.
Your mother is the main priority!. Sit her down and explain to her that you self harming is nothing to do with wanting to kill yourself - she may think that self harm always leads to suicide!. You and I know this isn't true, she may think it is!.
Tell her it's not her fault at all, if she feels that way!. It's nobodies fault - it's just a problem that you're going to have to deal with - and while you need her support, you don't want her treading on eggshells around you or being worried!. You just need her there for you, and to help you get some counselling (which of course, you need)!. Tell her that instead of her being worried and treading on those damned eggshells, you'd prefer it if maybe she could help you change your routine a little!. Ask her if she will take you on a day out once in a while - because this will help your mood too!. I know it's not cool going out with Mom (especially my Mom - haha!) but if you get that extra bit of bonding in with her, she wont worry and it could greatly benefit you!
Tell your friends pretty much the same thing - your friends may start to act a little more over-dramatic about it, so just explain as well as you can, and tell them nothings changed about who you are or how you think!.
You may find your mother being completely over-bearing now - checking your arms, looking at you funny when you come home from being out, asking if you want a cup of tea when you're in your room like 3843895794385743897543 a night, just to make sure you're alright!.!. This is hard to deal with, but I found the best way to handle it is to not get upset about it, but go along with it!. You're going to have to suck up some pride and let your mother ride this phase out, until she's comfortable!.
I can't think of anything more right at the moment - but if you need to chat, my e-mail link is on my Y!A profile!.
Good luck, and I hope you seek some help for your self harming too (make sure you do, little lady!)Www@Answer-Health@Com
You seem like an intelligent girl, so you know that self-harm in teens is quite common for various reasons!. Your mother and your friends don't know this - and now neither do they care!. They are just worried about you now!.
Your mother is the main priority!. Sit her down and explain to her that you self harming is nothing to do with wanting to kill yourself - she may think that self harm always leads to suicide!. You and I know this isn't true, she may think it is!.
Tell her it's not her fault at all, if she feels that way!. It's nobodies fault - it's just a problem that you're going to have to deal with - and while you need her support, you don't want her treading on eggshells around you or being worried!. You just need her there for you, and to help you get some counselling (which of course, you need)!. Tell her that instead of her being worried and treading on those damned eggshells, you'd prefer it if maybe she could help you change your routine a little!. Ask her if she will take you on a day out once in a while - because this will help your mood too!. I know it's not cool going out with Mom (especially my Mom - haha!) but if you get that extra bit of bonding in with her, she wont worry and it could greatly benefit you!
Tell your friends pretty much the same thing - your friends may start to act a little more over-dramatic about it, so just explain as well as you can, and tell them nothings changed about who you are or how you think!.
You may find your mother being completely over-bearing now - checking your arms, looking at you funny when you come home from being out, asking if you want a cup of tea when you're in your room like 3843895794385743897543 a night, just to make sure you're alright!.!. This is hard to deal with, but I found the best way to handle it is to not get upset about it, but go along with it!. You're going to have to suck up some pride and let your mother ride this phase out, until she's comfortable!.
I can't think of anything more right at the moment - but if you need to chat, my e-mail link is on my Y!A profile!.
Good luck, and I hope you seek some help for your self harming too (make sure you do, little lady!)Www@Answer-Health@Com
people are reacting exactly as they should because they care about you!. believe me i have been on the friends end of many of these situations and your friends and family love you and you jsut need to wait it out and give your mother a bit of time and in the long run try to help yourself to stop doing what you are doing!. and dont listen to the guy talking about chopping yourself!. he is probably that guy in highschool that causes people to do these things!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The best thing you can do now is stop beating yourself up about it!. Whats done is done and people are reacting the way they are because they care about you!.
Just give your mum a bit of time and then try having a talk with her!.
I know its hard, but hang in there!.
Good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Just give your mum a bit of time and then try having a talk with her!.
I know its hard, but hang in there!.
Good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well, you can explain her that she's got nothing to do with the fact that you self-harm, and that it's something personal you must deal with!.
But why do you self-harm !?Www@Answer-Health@Com
But why do you self-harm !?Www@Answer-Health@Com
i think you should do some reasearch on self harm conditions i am under the understanding that for some underlying reason you feel or have felt the need to harm yourself after a while and it sounds like your already there this cutting or picking or whatever you do comes as some from of relief its the same as biting your fingernails!.
if this is how you feel then maybe you could explain that in times of stress or fatigue or boredom or whatever you self soothe by self harm it may seem hard to understand but people do it everyday by biting their nails,biting the insides of their mouth,pulling their hair and scratching tell them that for the moment its a problem of yours but you feel you have it under controlWww@Answer-Health@Com
if this is how you feel then maybe you could explain that in times of stress or fatigue or boredom or whatever you self soothe by self harm it may seem hard to understand but people do it everyday by biting their nails,biting the insides of their mouth,pulling their hair and scratching tell them that for the moment its a problem of yours but you feel you have it under controlWww@Answer-Health@Com
I have been there and the best thing you can do is talk about it with her and your friends and then there will be no issues that will need to ask about later on!.
Try and get some information for them and make them understand it is not something you want to happen and no one is to blame but it something that you are experiancing right now and will sort out!.
If they really start to bug you just explain to them that things like that make the situation worse and you appreciate that they care but the best thing to do is just leave it because if you need their help you know where they are and will be straight there!.
Try and join a support group online to show that you are doing something about it and getting some help!.
Remember that its only natural for them to worry because they do not understand the situation!. When its ignorance thats the problem to their fears you just need to educate them and hope that they understand!.
Good luck with it!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Try and get some information for them and make them understand it is not something you want to happen and no one is to blame but it something that you are experiancing right now and will sort out!.
If they really start to bug you just explain to them that things like that make the situation worse and you appreciate that they care but the best thing to do is just leave it because if you need their help you know where they are and will be straight there!.
Try and join a support group online to show that you are doing something about it and getting some help!.
Remember that its only natural for them to worry because they do not understand the situation!. When its ignorance thats the problem to their fears you just need to educate them and hope that they understand!.
Good luck with it!Www@Answer-Health@Com