How can i stop beating myself up for this?!


Question: How can i stop beating myself up for this!?
2 years ago i lost my virginity to a guy that was undeserving!. we dated but it was nothing serious!. i have not been with anyone since and i have defitnetly learned my lesson but im still upset at the descisions i made in the past!. How can i get over this and stop feeling like i made a huge mistake!? Thanx in advance!Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
You need to realize that everyone messes up!. I honestly believe that like 90% of girls regret having sex with their first partner - it's never how we plan it to be!. I think that you've been focusing on it so much mainly because you haven't had a partner since him!. I'm not encouraging you to go out and find someone else to sleep with, but just know that it will become much less of a damper on your life once you become intimate with someone else and see how beautiful sex really is!

I definitely used poor judgment when I decided to give away my virginity!. I wasn't even dating the guy and he basically "hit it and quit it!." I was so upset with myself for almost two months afterwards then realized that I was given this experience in order to learn from it!. I now knew exactly how much I was worth, how much having sex meant to me, and exactly what I was going to look for in my next partner!. Just a few months later, I met my amazing boyfriend who respects me and my sexual boundaries - we're still together today!.

One of my favorite quotes is by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross!. She said, "There are no mistakes, no coincidences; all events are blessings given to us to learn from!."




You've definitely learned from this experience!. It wasn't a mistake, it was an opportunity to learn and grow!.



I really hope that everything works out well for you!. You're in my prayers! Take care!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Everybody commits mistakes!.!.We are all human & imperfect!. Wrong decisions happen because we do not think more than twice before we decide on doing things that can truly affect our lives!. In your case, you need to accept that you can't return what you have lost!. And like what you've said, you already learned your lesson on that experience!. Past is past, you can't turn back time!. For you to move on, you need to accept that things like that happen for a reason, it must be a turning point for you and a realization as well!. There are too many wonderful things in life that you need to appreciate!. Focus on other things that can change your life, like your career!. You also need to accept that not all guys are the same, so when the proper time and guy comes into your life, you should be willing to give him a chance and yourself to love again!. A good relationship will depend on how a couple love and trust each other and how they are ready to accept their weaknesses and differences and not just in sex!. And also, pray!. For the Lord will always be there to listen if you need Him!. God bless :-)Www@Answer-Health@Com

there are many more mistakes that you could have made in your life, but this one does not mean that you are less of a person than you were before this happened!. you should be proud that you still believe in yourself, and that you still have the virtue that was instilled in you by your parents!. many people make the same mistakes over, and over, and never learn that ultimately only they have the power to know when to stop and decide what is truly right for them!. your parents would truly be proud of you for having the strength to do what you know to be right!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

You have to do something that is very hard!. Some of us need to be taught how to do it!. Accept what has happened!. Do not judge it!. Accept that it happened!. If you stop judging it, it will stop hurting!. It was a mistake, and you can not undo the past!. All you can do is make choices for the future!. There was a reason you made the choice you made!. When you accept it and stop judging it, you will find your suffering will stop!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing!. Especially when you forgive yourself!. First of all, you said you need to "stop feeling like I made a huge mistake!." Don't try to convince yourself of that if you believe in your heart it was a mistake!! We all make them and you will make others!. Instead, admit it was a mistake, figure out what you can learn from it and move on!. Doing so with dignity and perseverance will prepare you for future disappointments so that you don't wind up playing the role of victim your whole life!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

its a hard thing forgiving urself but ive been in the same position (yeah how many guys can say they regret losing there virginity) i dont think im still totally over it and its been 10 years now but forsure dwelling on it just makes it harder to deal with only thing i could do was swear to myself to look at the situation more in the future and not just do what i think i have to and do what feels right instead!.Hope this helps a little!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

you live and you learn!. you have to lose it at some point in your life!. you chose two years ago with an asshole!. ok learn and move on!. don't regret the choices you've made because at some point in your life it was a good choice to you!. just forget about it!. you've already used up your first time ever !.!. but now you have lots more first times to have with guys that actually do deserve your time!. and you know how to seperate those that do!.!.!. and those that don't !.!.!.

and it isn't always about the guy!. You can have sex for youself too ya know!.

how old are you!?Www@Answer-Health@Com

just knowing what not to do now is a good way to move on and know that you learned from this!. also knowing that we all have skeleton's in our closet and all have decisions we made that we wish we would of done differently!. also in the bible it says to ask for forgiveness and that you are forgiven!. Jesus says that once he forgives you for something he forgets about it!. that is what helps me!. its just a part of life that you have learned from and you can take a valuable lesson that you otherwise wouldn't of learned!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I know what you are going through! I lost my virginity to a total loser who than slept with a good friend!. I felt horrible and then in retaliation, dated his best friend!. I regretted that also!! So what I would recommend, would be to try to find other things good about that time in your life!.!.!.like obviously you are no longer with him, so that is a positive! Things like this happen, and yes they do suck, but sometimes you just gotta put them in your past and be happy as to where you are now!. I hope that makes sense! =)Www@Answer-Health@Com

I know how you feel!. You need to love yourself, forgive yourself and move on!. It isn't the end of the world!.

Find a new man!. Stop thinking about that undeserving loser!.

I had a man like that!. I had a hard time getting over him!. I wished I didn't give myself to him!. Not only did he steal my heart and trust!. I feel he stole my self-esteem for a while!. He was a jerk and he was verbally abusive!. I felt that I had made a big mistake but it wasn't too late!. I realized he was only doing that to get control over me!. I had to chhose him or a good life!. I chose a good life!. I don't regret it!. I was so miserable when we were together!. We argued so much I wasn't even myself anymore!.

I started to think about the bad things he said to hurt me over the good times we had, it helped me!.

I don't think about him as much anymore!. It will pass for you too!. Don't give up on men!. There are some good men out there!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

well, stop feeling bad, everyone makes mistakes, just start telling yourself it is not your fault it is his, he obviously was just using you, and that is not your fault, as far as you knew, he was a really nice guy!. Good luck, i think it would be healthy for you to go on a date, and have a good time!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Be glad that you're not the type of girl who loses her virginity on a one night stand or something!. The fact that you care so much shows that you have a good deal of respect for yourself and your body!.
Learn from your past and be patient the next time you're with someone!. Make sure the next person you choose is the right one!. You can't change what you did so don't dwell on it hun!. Just improve yourself from here on out ;)Www@Answer-Health@Com

first off- sorry that this happened, but use it as a learning experience! Do you think that after you have gone through this situation you now have gained a greater understanding of how special being with someone sexually can be!? Perhaps this experience helped you to better appreciate being with another person!. We all make mistakes, some are bigger than others, and the biggest ones are the ones that we gain the biggest life lessons from!. Think of your experience as "tuition" for "college"!.!.!.!. You paid for it, (in a different sense rather than actually money) --so don't let it go to waste! use your knew found knowledge and take it with you into your next relationship!. If it makes you feel any better, i guarantee you are not alone in the "bad decision making" department!. We have ALL been there!. Try to get passed it, you deserve to move on!. Im guessing you had no idea it was going to end sour, so how is that your fault!? you're not to blame so don't be hard on yourself girl!Www@Answer-Health@Com

I went throught the same thing!. I thought of it as a learning experience and also an experience that surprisingly built up my confidence!. I now know what I want in life!. I want to be respected and to have that special man that I will be with forever!. I love every moment that has happened to me!. I want to experience and learn as much as I can in life!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

It's easy!. There's really no way that you can go back and make yourself feel better for something you've done in the past!. The only thing you can do is use the information you've gained and not make the same mistakes!. Feel better knowing that you can use that to make the right decisions in the futureWww@Answer-Health@Com

If you have spiritual convictions,

1) ask God to forgive you (He will)
2) ask yourself for forgiveness!.
3) ask your future spouse for forgiveness!.
4) grant yourself a 'second' virginity!.
5) forget about it!.

In that order!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Learn from your mistakes!. Remember that the past is the past and now that you know you made a bad decision, you won't have to worry about making the same mistake in the future!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

get over it, you were put under pressure, and you found out that all guys will say and do anything to get into a girls pants, there not looking for long term!. there is no love twenty and younger, just lust and desire!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

the fact that you understand it was a mistake is a big step, realize that youre not the same person you were 2 years ago and that its no longer a big dealWww@Answer-Health@Com

I don't know if you are a religious person or not, but a bible is a great way to help you!. God loves you and forgives you! Pray!Www@Answer-Health@Com

there's nothing you can do know
but be careful and it's a mistake not the end of the world
even if it feels like itWww@Answer-Health@Com

Have sex with a whole bunch of people!. "Follow your folly"!. I have made mistakes in my life, but I choose to deny them, and ride it out!Www@Answer-Health@Com

find a mature, good man who really loves youand takes you seriously!. then you can forget the past!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I agree with Maryjane i mean you have to let go of things everything happens for a reason realize them and learn from them !.Www@Answer-Health@Com

You have to forgive yourself!.!.!. you oviously wasn't ready for that relationship!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

just forget about!. you made a mistake, now learn from it!. at least nothing bad happened from it (as far as i no)!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

just **** someone else!.!. and forget his name!.Www@Answer-Health@Com





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