My alcoholic mother committed suicide, my boyfriend is an alcoholic.?!


Question: My alcoholic mother committed suicide, my boyfriend is an alcoholic!.!?
My mom committed suicide in late March!. I am 25, and have had an on again off again relationship with someone for 3 years!.
My mother and I were very close, but she has always been an alcoholic!. She came from a very troubled childhood she never got over, and I guess that's how she dealt with her pain!. I drink sometimes, admittedly, but rarely!.s
This boyfriend of mine is an alcoholic!. We keep breaking up because he lies about drinking, continues to lose his job, never has any money, and basically just when I start caring about him again, thinking "he's really going to deal with his problem", he starts drinking again!. I know about al-anon, and I'm considering it!.
Another background is I had a boyfriend kill himself when I was 17, after a phone call with him, breaking up with him!.
I know I shouldn't be with him!. I know he's never going to treat me right if he doesn't get help!. But I feel so lonely since my mom died!. I have friends and family, but it's just not the same!.Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
One perspective on alcoholism that many health care professionals have is that someone with such a severe addiction will never be able to recover until they hit rock bottom, which entails at least temporally losing their support system!. When addicts have a support system, they always have someone to fall back on and pick them up!. This prevents them from changing!. This is called "enabling!." So, something to think about is that every time he is having problems, you are there to support him and allow him to continue wallowing in his own problems!. Sometimes people need tough love!.!.!. being shown the door and realizing that they have lost too much to continue with their destructive addiction!. I suggest you seek counseling for yourself, to help you deal with this situation!. I wish you the best of luck in this matter!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

First of all, you can't blame yourself for your old boyfriend killing himself; he had other, deep-rooted problems!. Now, you need to get away from all the alcohol & join the church & get active in it!. The only one who can help your present bf stop drinking is himself, & AA!. You don't need to be pulled down into that webb!. Most Alcoholics doesn't kill themselves, but they can sure kill the Spirits of everyone around them!. You sound stronger, to me; so, don't use a bottle to try to escape whatever is bugging you; meet it head-on, & conquer!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Please make contact with Al-anon, if not read the following book , 'Recovery: A Guide for Adult Children of Alcoholics by Herbert L!. Gravitz and Julie D!.Bowden!.

Adult Children of Alcoholics are often attracted to Alcoholics or can become one themself!. You need to support yourself by education and counseling!.

My mother is alcoholic and emotionally physically abusive, I am 30 and no longer in contact with her!. I read the above book and saw myself, I think you will see yourself too!.

One of the behaviours of Adult Children of Alcoholics is a feeling of over responsibility!. You are not responsible for the behaviour of your boyfriends, you were not responsible for your mothers behaviour!.

Alcoholics do not have relationships they just take hostages!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Al-anon for sure!. Just start there!. You don't have to make snap decisions right now!. Eventually you will decide that your life is really worth cutting out bad relationships and fostering good ones, and what other people decide to do with theirs is up to them!.

Sincerest sympathies regarding your mother!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

you are repeating a pattern because it's all you know!. get to know a different pattern, and make it fun and healthy! join some groups where there are tons of people like you, not just support groups, but I mean like sports, youth group, etc!. you are worth more than you realize at this point, and life could really rock!

don't put all your energy and trust into people, they will eventually let you down!. just do what makes you healthy and happy and live ~blessssWww@Answer-Health@Com

I think you know the right answers - you just have to follow thought and push through!. you seem to gravitate towards the wrong guys!. you need a change - take a break - and have some girl time or just date casually for a bit
Before you are so far in that there is no light at the end of the tunnel!.!.!.!.Do the right thing, even though it is very very very hardWww@Answer-Health@Com

Why are you torturing yourself !. You know this is an unhealthy relationship !. Why don't you go to therapy and get some answers !. There are a lot of guys out there , why pick an alcoholic to try to build a life with !. It's a losing proposition!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

you need to get him to accept help, then you should ensure that you get help for yourself, part of which is to end the relationship!.

you will find someone else and you won't feel so guilty because he is being cared for
good luckWww@Answer-Health@Com

Explain the situation to him and then hit the road!. If he shapes up sometime in the future then maybe you can be friends!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

u need 2 change that man, pliz go 4 canceling!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through all of this - that's definitely not fair to you!. You've been SO strong though! Keep it up!.

I don't think that this boyfriend is right for you right now!. Although it's in our nature to want to nurture those in need, you need to take a step back and look at what's right for YOU!. You need to take time to work on yourself, especially with the recent events regarding your mother!. If he really cares for you, he'll understand that his actions are hurting you and will want you to get better!. Explain to him that you both need to work on yourselves - him on his drinking and you on your emotional and mental state!.

I really hope that everything works out perfectly for you!. You've obviously been very strong through everything you've endured and you deserve much praise for that! I'll make sure to keep you in my prayers!. Take care!Www@Answer-Health@Com

What is it you are asking exactly then!?

Suggestion- let this guy know how you feel about him and his drinking!. Find out if he is willing to get himself into recovery- be it AA or a serious rehab program!. If not, you already know that staying with him is going to end up causing you more pain, which might have you drinking more eventually!. I to have suffered loss due to suicide!. My father when I was 14 and my sons father hung himself in front of me when our child was just 18 months old!. It is devastating to everyone involved!. Although alcohol was not the only issue, the ultimate result was the same!. People who do not face their fears and make a choice to change, end up taking their own lives or a loved one's or allowing their disease to take over their life and dieing as a result of it!. Whatever your man decides, needs to be his decision and he needs to get himself cleaned up or please just let him go!. He can take you down with him, if you don't stop this madness!.

Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

I couldnt imagine life without my om!. sweetheart, may god heal your broken heart and mend the pain from your loss/ your mom is in a better place sober and happy!. You know you must leave this man!. please leave soon!. when your mom was alive and while growing up you had no choice but to deal and love your mom!. because she was your mother!. she gave you life!. see with your boyfriend you have a choice!. you dont have to sit and watch him waste his life away!. are you planning on having children, hopefully not with him!. You witnessed first hand what a child of an alcoholic goes through!.Until he has proven himself!.,just leave!. havent youhurt enough!. break the cycle!. be free and live for you!. Now that your mom can see clealry up above, she would want you to live lWww@Answer-Health@Com

I know you are lonely but try to get to therapy, if you don't have health insurance the have the public mental health department for low income people!.and leave your toxic relationship He will not stop drinking!. you may think you can help him but you can't!. I try to help my husband many years but it did not work you can't save everybody but you can save yourself from a bad life!.you need to stop feeling guilty for what your boyfriend 's dead He was already depress, it wasn't you fault!.Www@Answer-Health@Com





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