My mom died and i have a question about GRIEVING?!
Question: My mom died and i have a question about GRIEVING!?
ok so im 16 and my mom died about a month ago in a car accident!. (just telling you so my question makes sense)!.!.!.and im just wondering how many of you have lost someone close or know someone who has and how long it takes!.!.!.i know it never goes away!. but can you give me some advice!.!.!.like what should i do to keep my self busy but at the same time relax!.!.and not deny that it happened!? im so confused i just know that now that my summer vacation has started i want to take advantage of it and try to clear my mind and maybe come to fully acccept it!.!.!? is that even possible!?!?
so i guess my question is if you were me, what would you do!?!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
so i guess my question is if you were me, what would you do!?!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
It sounds like you might have been close to your mom!. I am truly sorry for your loss!. No loss is easy and they all take different amounts of time to accept!. The most important thing to me when my brother died was knowing that others were thinking of me!. It helped to know that I was not alone through it!. I hope that you have really good friends - at least one!. Contact that person and tell them of your struggles and ask if you could spend some extra time with them from week to week!. That will help when you are very sad and it will help get your mind off things once in a while!. When you are with that person - do something that you both enjoy!. You will be able to escape from the thoughts of your mom here and there and that will provide some relief!.
Don't try to forget it all together!. I would recommend that you take pictures out and start a scarpbook of your mom and include the photos that bring back the most positive memories!. Remember the good in your mom and cherish those thoughts and memories!. You can try to incorporate some of the really cool things about her into your life!. If she did something on an annual basis - try to do it in your life!. You will feel the connection with her!. I can't tell you how long it will be before you can just talk about it and not cry!. My brother died in 2001 and I still cry when I think about him!. (like now) I visit his grave when I am in our home town and talk to him!. I have thoughts that he is watching over me and when the attic creeks I tell people it is my brother up there partying!. I let him live there and we keep each other company at times!. Wear a neckless or some type of jewelry that was your moms to feel her presence!. Set aside some time every day to just sit and cry or think about her!. As time goes on - you will not need as much time and eventually you will just be able to think about her while doing other things!. Don't block the feelings - they are normal!. In fact that is the only time I ever like the word normal!. There is no such thing as a normal way to respond to anything as we are each different with different thoughts, feelings and needs!.
Don't place blame on yourself!. I use to sit and think, My brother called late one night and asked me to go get him something to eat and bring to him!. I did not do it and after he was gone I regretted it and told myself I was a terrible sister!. That is not true for anyone!. We make decisions at the time based on the situation!. If he needed me physically or mentally I would have gone immediately, but his wanting food at 11:30 pm was just an urge - not a need!.
If you need additional support - try to find a grieving group!. You can start by looking up meetup!.com and searching your area for one!. If nothing there, call some mental health clinics and see if they know of any groups going on!. Keep calling until someone gives you the answer you are looking for!. Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Don't try to forget it all together!. I would recommend that you take pictures out and start a scarpbook of your mom and include the photos that bring back the most positive memories!. Remember the good in your mom and cherish those thoughts and memories!. You can try to incorporate some of the really cool things about her into your life!. If she did something on an annual basis - try to do it in your life!. You will feel the connection with her!. I can't tell you how long it will be before you can just talk about it and not cry!. My brother died in 2001 and I still cry when I think about him!. (like now) I visit his grave when I am in our home town and talk to him!. I have thoughts that he is watching over me and when the attic creeks I tell people it is my brother up there partying!. I let him live there and we keep each other company at times!. Wear a neckless or some type of jewelry that was your moms to feel her presence!. Set aside some time every day to just sit and cry or think about her!. As time goes on - you will not need as much time and eventually you will just be able to think about her while doing other things!. Don't block the feelings - they are normal!. In fact that is the only time I ever like the word normal!. There is no such thing as a normal way to respond to anything as we are each different with different thoughts, feelings and needs!.
Don't place blame on yourself!. I use to sit and think, My brother called late one night and asked me to go get him something to eat and bring to him!. I did not do it and after he was gone I regretted it and told myself I was a terrible sister!. That is not true for anyone!. We make decisions at the time based on the situation!. If he needed me physically or mentally I would have gone immediately, but his wanting food at 11:30 pm was just an urge - not a need!.
If you need additional support - try to find a grieving group!. You can start by looking up meetup!.com and searching your area for one!. If nothing there, call some mental health clinics and see if they know of any groups going on!. Keep calling until someone gives you the answer you are looking for!. Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'd just like to say I'm sorry about what's happened to you!.
Grieving is natural, so don't try and keep it back; if you need to cry, cry!. But don't let it take over your life!. Don't feel guilty to have fun with your friends!. Don't try and 'get over' her death, just accept it as a fact!.
Remember her for her life, and everything that was good about her, not her death!.
It's difficult, I know!. Chin up, good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Grieving is natural, so don't try and keep it back; if you need to cry, cry!. But don't let it take over your life!. Don't feel guilty to have fun with your friends!. Don't try and 'get over' her death, just accept it as a fact!.
Remember her for her life, and everything that was good about her, not her death!.
It's difficult, I know!. Chin up, good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I've come in contact with this problem multiple times in my personal life!.
Lately [within the last two years] i've found that (although the grieving never fully goes away) setting up a purpose in your mind helps!. For example !. !. !.
I had a relative, a toddler, die last year!. She got a piece of food caught in her throat!. - So now i'm extra cautious to help my little sister understand the danger, and how to avoid it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Lately [within the last two years] i've found that (although the grieving never fully goes away) setting up a purpose in your mind helps!. For example !. !. !.
I had a relative, a toddler, die last year!. She got a piece of food caught in her throat!. - So now i'm extra cautious to help my little sister understand the danger, and how to avoid it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I am so sorry, darlin!. I lost my mom in 94!. It does take a while, but sooner or later she will be a good memory in your heart!. It did take me a while!.!.!.!.tear!.!.!.!.still does!. Just remember, never forget, never gone for ever!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
My mother died 2 years ago from cancer!. I was 20!. It is a horrible thing, and the pain of it never really goes away!. It takes a long time to come to terms with something like that, one minute you will think you are fine, and the next you will be devastated!. Don't deprive yourself of having fun this summer if it is something you can do!. You don't have to be sad all of the time, and you don't have to feel guilty for having happy moments!. I still think about my mom almost every day, and sometimes I still get very depressed, but it gets better over time!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm very sorry for your loss!.
As you already know the loss of a loved one takes time!. This was also something that you were not prepared for!. One thing I think that is important is to express your feelings!. If you hold it back it could build up and then when it goes, it will be a lot worse!. Talking with a Therapist could help, I believe it's best to talk with someone educated in this area!.
Try to keep busy this summer!. There might be times when your feeling sad and not want to participate with friends and activity's!. But try not to turn down invites, chances are you maybe happy you went!.
I think you also need to give yourself time to grieve!. It's OK to cry!. Let it out!.
Take care and don't give up!Www@Answer-Health@Com
As you already know the loss of a loved one takes time!. This was also something that you were not prepared for!. One thing I think that is important is to express your feelings!. If you hold it back it could build up and then when it goes, it will be a lot worse!. Talking with a Therapist could help, I believe it's best to talk with someone educated in this area!.
Try to keep busy this summer!. There might be times when your feeling sad and not want to participate with friends and activity's!. But try not to turn down invites, chances are you maybe happy you went!.
I think you also need to give yourself time to grieve!. It's OK to cry!. Let it out!.
Take care and don't give up!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Hi Sweetheart; this is absolutely the worst time in your life!. Your loss is so huge, and it's just not fair!. Because you're so young, you're going to miss your mom more than ever!. The pain will never go away, but your mom's greatest legacy is you! It's more important now for you to be everything you can be!. That's what your mom would want, more than anything else!. You'll have a sad summer, but try to get out and be with people who love you!. Visit your mom's grave and talk to her!. She only wants you to be happy!. But, that's going to take time!. Take care of yourself!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know it may not make a lot of sense, but do what you feel like!. If you need to be busy one day, be busy!. If you need to cry, cry!. Do not judge any emotions that may come up as wrong!. You may find yourself angry at your mom for some reason that you won't fully understand!. Accept it!. Acknowledge that you feel this way!. Try and find out why!. Ask yourself!. If you do not get an answer, don't worry about it!. It will come when it is ready!. If you are finding you have a day when you really miss her, take the day to remember her!. Accepting that this is a difficult process, and accepting the process helps!. If you find you are stuck, feel free to find someone to talk to!. Sometimes we all get stuck!. An impartial third party helps!. Sometimes just telling them helps!. It may take years before you can spend time remembering your mother without crying!. That is okay!.Www@Answer-Health@Com