Fairy tale or illness?!
Question: Fairy tale or illness!?
when i was small i used to dream in things,,that i m another girl and in another country ,needless to say that i had tough life with my parents ,they get divorced ,and my life wasent sweet to live it so i live others people life in my brian to keep away from waht i have
now i m a woman ,have good life ,,i have some weight issues and thats not the point
the point is that i still live in another stories,,i have my own story that i odnt like to remember ,,i read lots of novels but i dont live them ,i create my own and i live it with everything in it ,happines or sadness ,
i ve lost my love ,,so i imagine that i m still in love with him and he is giving me what i need ,,my brian is full with this crap ,i m so hating myself right now
part of me likes this inner life i have ,but i m solitude and i dont live life as i should do ,i live in my brian and out side of brian i m acting normal and in hell i m going to say that to anyone i would be so ashamed ,,is it an illness or notWww@Answer-Health@Com
now i m a woman ,have good life ,,i have some weight issues and thats not the point
the point is that i still live in another stories,,i have my own story that i odnt like to remember ,,i read lots of novels but i dont live them ,i create my own and i live it with everything in it ,happines or sadness ,
i ve lost my love ,,so i imagine that i m still in love with him and he is giving me what i need ,,my brian is full with this crap ,i m so hating myself right now
part of me likes this inner life i have ,but i m solitude and i dont live life as i should do ,i live in my brian and out side of brian i m acting normal and in hell i m going to say that to anyone i would be so ashamed ,,is it an illness or notWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Please do not take this the wrong way, but I think you would benefit from some therapy!. What you are doing is not an illness, it is a coping mechanism for dealing with unhappiness in your life!. There is nothing actually wrong with that in itself, but two things can happen!. One of them is that the lines between fantasy and reality start to blur, which is when it becomes a mental illness, this is clearly not the case with you as you are aware you do it, the other thing is that you can start to hate yourself for having to do this, and that is why therapy would help!.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy would be excellent as the results are obtained quickly, usually in under 12 sessions!. It aims at recognising thought patterns and how they affect the way we behave, then it challenges you to change them, when it works well it can be life changing, when it doesn't work as well, it at least gives you alternative ways of coping with unhapiness!.
Pretty much any talkign therapy would benefit, and I do not think you would need a lot, just to find a way of dealing with the uncomfortable feelings you have without having to resort to fantasy!. I used to do the same years ago, it was a way of escapism!.
If you do not want to seek therapy, either privately or through your doctor, then you can do something to help yourself!. Firstly, give yourself a break, there is nothing wrong in what you are doing, to a certain extent many of us do the same!. It is also an excellent and risk free way of giving ourselves what we want, and providing the fantasies are not ones where bad things happen or we hurt ourselves or other people, there is no real harm!. However, all the time you are escaping, you are avoiding the issues that cause you to escape, and ultimately if you bury a problem, it returns stronger and harder to beat, so it is important that you find a way of dealing with them beyond fantasising!.
Perhaps you could get yourself a nice notebook (a pretty hardback one that you really like) and a pen you really like to write with, and just write down some things, not the fantasy stuff, but the reality stuff, write about your upbringing, the things like your parents divorce, how you felt about it and what effect you feel it has had on your life!. Write about losing your love, why you think it happened, what you would change!. You will be surprised at how much comes out, pages and pages of it, don't think about what you are writing, no one is going to read it, it is yours, it doesn't even matter if you never read it, you just need to get this stuff out!. Once you start doing this, you could even get another book and start writing your fantasies out!. You will be surprised that this is much harder to do than writing the realities, things do not flow so easily and you have to think about them!. You may discover that you have a talent for writing, some authors have written their first books this way!. Or you may find that in writing first about reailty and then about fantasy that the fantasy becomes less important to you and the reality less painful!. I certainly would not write about the fantasy until you are really comfortable with writing the stuff that hurts more!. It doesn't matter if writing the real stuff makes you sad, or makes you cry, the whole point is to allow yourself to have the feelings you need to have about these issues!. Perhaps when your parents split up, you had to stay strong and did not feel you were able to be sad or demonstrate how much you were hurting!. The whole point is that you need to do this now!.
I would recommend therapy, it has changed me completely, I am now happy within myself and no longer need the fantasy!. But it is not an illness, certainly not the way you describe it, that does not mean that you should not get help for it, as you say, it is actually preventing you from living your life as you should!. I would see your doctor and try and get a referral for some sort of therapy, or CBT!.
As for the weight issues, I can wholeheartedly recommend you get hold of Paul McKenna's book or cd "I can make you thin"!. I dropped a stone (all the weight I needed to) relatively quickly, three years ago and it has stayed off, I eat whatever I want, whenever I want!. The book, or cd, teaches you how to think about food the way thin people do, there are some really simple techiques like eating only when you are hungry and eating what you fancy, even if it is cake, but learning how to apreciate and enjoy the food you eat, about slowing down and chewing each mouthful, really enjoying it!. You would be amazed how many of us think about food all the time until we are actually eating, when we eat so unconsciously that we stuff our faces without giving our bodies and brains time to tell us they have had all they want for now!.
There is a lot of stuff about a technique called Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) which teaches you how to deal with cravings for things that you cannot control, maybe an addiction to chocolate or fizzy drinks!. I personally didn't do this, because I didnt feel there was any one thing I had a problem with, I just ate too much and too unconsciously!. It is really worht it and it is not a diet, just a new approach to how you think about food!. Every one I know who has done this has lost the weight they wanted to and kept it off, so I know it works, it is actually, unlike diets, really fun because you really enjoy the relationship you start to have with food, being able to eat whatever you want and not feel guilty about it is great!. It will also make you feel that you have gained some control in your life and that will spur you on to dealing with other issues!.
You are not ill, you just need to deal with some stuff which has gotten buried by life and the fantasies, living a life to the full, without shame or guilt is totally achievable for you, which is why the two things I would do in your position would be to start the Paul McKenna thing and seek therapy via your doctor, the writing down stuff you can do anyway!. Good luck, be kind to yourself, you are being extremely hard on yourself and it seems life has done that already, take time to love yourself and be nice to you, you have done nothing wrong and do not need to punish yourself any more!. I hope you get peace of mind soon!. God bless xWww@Answer-Health@Com
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy would be excellent as the results are obtained quickly, usually in under 12 sessions!. It aims at recognising thought patterns and how they affect the way we behave, then it challenges you to change them, when it works well it can be life changing, when it doesn't work as well, it at least gives you alternative ways of coping with unhapiness!.
Pretty much any talkign therapy would benefit, and I do not think you would need a lot, just to find a way of dealing with the uncomfortable feelings you have without having to resort to fantasy!. I used to do the same years ago, it was a way of escapism!.
If you do not want to seek therapy, either privately or through your doctor, then you can do something to help yourself!. Firstly, give yourself a break, there is nothing wrong in what you are doing, to a certain extent many of us do the same!. It is also an excellent and risk free way of giving ourselves what we want, and providing the fantasies are not ones where bad things happen or we hurt ourselves or other people, there is no real harm!. However, all the time you are escaping, you are avoiding the issues that cause you to escape, and ultimately if you bury a problem, it returns stronger and harder to beat, so it is important that you find a way of dealing with them beyond fantasising!.
Perhaps you could get yourself a nice notebook (a pretty hardback one that you really like) and a pen you really like to write with, and just write down some things, not the fantasy stuff, but the reality stuff, write about your upbringing, the things like your parents divorce, how you felt about it and what effect you feel it has had on your life!. Write about losing your love, why you think it happened, what you would change!. You will be surprised at how much comes out, pages and pages of it, don't think about what you are writing, no one is going to read it, it is yours, it doesn't even matter if you never read it, you just need to get this stuff out!. Once you start doing this, you could even get another book and start writing your fantasies out!. You will be surprised that this is much harder to do than writing the realities, things do not flow so easily and you have to think about them!. You may discover that you have a talent for writing, some authors have written their first books this way!. Or you may find that in writing first about reailty and then about fantasy that the fantasy becomes less important to you and the reality less painful!. I certainly would not write about the fantasy until you are really comfortable with writing the stuff that hurts more!. It doesn't matter if writing the real stuff makes you sad, or makes you cry, the whole point is to allow yourself to have the feelings you need to have about these issues!. Perhaps when your parents split up, you had to stay strong and did not feel you were able to be sad or demonstrate how much you were hurting!. The whole point is that you need to do this now!.
I would recommend therapy, it has changed me completely, I am now happy within myself and no longer need the fantasy!. But it is not an illness, certainly not the way you describe it, that does not mean that you should not get help for it, as you say, it is actually preventing you from living your life as you should!. I would see your doctor and try and get a referral for some sort of therapy, or CBT!.
As for the weight issues, I can wholeheartedly recommend you get hold of Paul McKenna's book or cd "I can make you thin"!. I dropped a stone (all the weight I needed to) relatively quickly, three years ago and it has stayed off, I eat whatever I want, whenever I want!. The book, or cd, teaches you how to think about food the way thin people do, there are some really simple techiques like eating only when you are hungry and eating what you fancy, even if it is cake, but learning how to apreciate and enjoy the food you eat, about slowing down and chewing each mouthful, really enjoying it!. You would be amazed how many of us think about food all the time until we are actually eating, when we eat so unconsciously that we stuff our faces without giving our bodies and brains time to tell us they have had all they want for now!.
There is a lot of stuff about a technique called Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) which teaches you how to deal with cravings for things that you cannot control, maybe an addiction to chocolate or fizzy drinks!. I personally didn't do this, because I didnt feel there was any one thing I had a problem with, I just ate too much and too unconsciously!. It is really worht it and it is not a diet, just a new approach to how you think about food!. Every one I know who has done this has lost the weight they wanted to and kept it off, so I know it works, it is actually, unlike diets, really fun because you really enjoy the relationship you start to have with food, being able to eat whatever you want and not feel guilty about it is great!. It will also make you feel that you have gained some control in your life and that will spur you on to dealing with other issues!.
You are not ill, you just need to deal with some stuff which has gotten buried by life and the fantasies, living a life to the full, without shame or guilt is totally achievable for you, which is why the two things I would do in your position would be to start the Paul McKenna thing and seek therapy via your doctor, the writing down stuff you can do anyway!. Good luck, be kind to yourself, you are being extremely hard on yourself and it seems life has done that already, take time to love yourself and be nice to you, you have done nothing wrong and do not need to punish yourself any more!. I hope you get peace of mind soon!. God bless xWww@Answer-Health@Com
Instead of looking at this as a problem, i would embrase it!.!.get these fantasies down on paper, i know there your private solstice, but it could very well be an inner desire to blossom and show yourself!.!.
i presonnaly go through similar things, i have ideas going round my head - how does this work, what if this happend!.!.!. sometimes i can tune out completly while thinking about them, u are certainly not alone!.!. but as i said before i would embrase it, its perfectly normalWww@Answer-Health@Com
i presonnaly go through similar things, i have ideas going round my head - how does this work, what if this happend!.!.!. sometimes i can tune out completly while thinking about them, u are certainly not alone!.!. but as i said before i would embrase it, its perfectly normalWww@Answer-Health@Com
You are living a fake life and that isnt good!. Because the reality doesnt change with what you think in your mind!. And when you come back to reality its always harder and harder!. So better try to focus on yourself and do things you like!. Do sports it will help to relax and try to get counselling!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
No!. Other than the fact that you have created a fantasy world where you feel safe!.
Maybe you need to get out a bit more and meet people in the real world,difficult as it may seem,there are still good people in this world,you just have to find them!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Maybe you need to get out a bit more and meet people in the real world,difficult as it may seem,there are still good people in this world,you just have to find them!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I would say that you should see a therapist simply because you're going through alot and have went through alot!. Tell them about it for sure!. Also, try writing about it!. Make up a story on paper!. It will be a good outlet =)!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
theres nothing wrong with that!. don;t go on medication!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think you are very brave to share this information about your "secret life" with the world via Yahoo! Answers, though I should imagine telling another person face to face would be more frightening for you still!.
I do feel for you, having lived in a sort of fantasy world when I was in my mid-teens, including being "in love" with a long-dead classical composer!. After that I fell deeply in love with a boy at university, but found it so traumatic making the transition from living in a fantasy world, to trying to have a real relationship, that I hid my feelings from him! Then I did the same thing again a few years later, then after losing that boy, rushed into a very unwise and unhappy marriage!. (I am 53 now!)
Thank God I have since become a "born-again" Christian, and can assure you that Jesus is much more than a fantasy character - but somehow my past involvement in a fantasy life often adversely affects my relationship with the Lord!.!.!.I do feel for you, and would like to add you as a contact if that would be OK for you!. I am concerned for you, especially as you do say you hate yourself for the way you are - only God can really give you the power to change and fulfil those deep needs you obviously have!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I do feel for you, having lived in a sort of fantasy world when I was in my mid-teens, including being "in love" with a long-dead classical composer!. After that I fell deeply in love with a boy at university, but found it so traumatic making the transition from living in a fantasy world, to trying to have a real relationship, that I hid my feelings from him! Then I did the same thing again a few years later, then after losing that boy, rushed into a very unwise and unhappy marriage!. (I am 53 now!)
Thank God I have since become a "born-again" Christian, and can assure you that Jesus is much more than a fantasy character - but somehow my past involvement in a fantasy life often adversely affects my relationship with the Lord!.!.!.I do feel for you, and would like to add you as a contact if that would be OK for you!. I am concerned for you, especially as you do say you hate yourself for the way you are - only God can really give you the power to change and fulfil those deep needs you obviously have!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It is not an illlness just your wa of coping with the bad side of life!. It is perfectly normal and perfectly ok!. BUT you do sound very down even depressed so I would go and talk to your doctor and see how he thinks he can help you!. You dont have to tell him about your fantasy world because that is your thing but you do need to tell him you are feeling very low about yourself!. You may need to talk to a counsellor or simply get some focus in your life!. Try some new hobby or sport and you might even meet someone new who will be your friend!. Everyone has things in their past they would like to forget but sometimes when we have things going wrong we worry and fear the worst when if we face up to them either alone or with a friends support, we grow stronger and get out the other side!. Best of luck to you, I think you could do with a big hug!Www@Answer-Health@Com