My girlfriend has bipolar. How come I am the only one she is pushing away right !
Question: My girlfriend has bipolar!. How come I am the only one she is pushing away right now!?
My gf of one year claims she is having an episode!. I say "claims" because she has been lying a little lately and likes her attention!. For 8 months she's been taking a mood stabilizer and depression meds!. No therapy which she is now waiting to get in to see a phsyc!. I told her i want to help her get a good system and insisted her getting into some kind of treatment!. She agreed!. The question is: I noticed with a big slap in my face as she goes out until 3am last night drinkin w/ her friends (her meds and alcholol don't mix well) that I am the only one being pushed away and treated like crap!. Why!? she says it is because she doesn't even like herself and can't like me!. That she is sick fighting and just wants to be alone!. I realize she maybe having an episode but she still needs to be accountable for some of her actions!. why does she treat me this way!? I don't know if i should give her space or keep trying!. Will it ever get better w/ the right treatment!. does this sound like BPolar!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Sounds to me like she may be backing away because you are taking too active of a role in managing her illness!. She's a grown up!. That's mostly her responsibility!. Yours is to be supportive in a healthy way!. Anything else gets into codependence and that's not good for either of you!.
I'd have a serious talk with her and say just that!. Tell her it's not your responsibility to set up therapy sessions or arrange doctor appointments or advise her to get her meds adjusted or any other facet of managing the illness!. Those are her responsibilities!. Most with bipolar (once diagnosed and treated) know when an episode is starting!. The healthy call is to the psychiatrist for a medication adjustment, not going out drinking half the night!. She knows that!. Say as much!. She also knows that best practice is meds and therapy!. She should also know that adherring to a set sleep-wake schedule is important!. There are basics!. There may be an episode exception, but they rarely clobber over night!. Tell her that you don't want to be in a care taker role, especially since she'll just resent it!. Then ask her to let you know what role she does want you to play!. All of this is about being independent adults assuming personal responsibility while respecting each other and working together as a couple!. Bipolar does not render one irresponsible or overly dependent unless those around the person make that the environment!. And, that environment destroys relationships!.
~I have bipolarWww@Answer-Health@Com
I'd have a serious talk with her and say just that!. Tell her it's not your responsibility to set up therapy sessions or arrange doctor appointments or advise her to get her meds adjusted or any other facet of managing the illness!. Those are her responsibilities!. Most with bipolar (once diagnosed and treated) know when an episode is starting!. The healthy call is to the psychiatrist for a medication adjustment, not going out drinking half the night!. She knows that!. Say as much!. She also knows that best practice is meds and therapy!. She should also know that adherring to a set sleep-wake schedule is important!. There are basics!. There may be an episode exception, but they rarely clobber over night!. Tell her that you don't want to be in a care taker role, especially since she'll just resent it!. Then ask her to let you know what role she does want you to play!. All of this is about being independent adults assuming personal responsibility while respecting each other and working together as a couple!. Bipolar does not render one irresponsible or overly dependent unless those around the person make that the environment!. And, that environment destroys relationships!.
~I have bipolarWww@Answer-Health@Com
As a female, therefore intrinsically irrational with or without a diagnosed or undiagnosed mental condition, I know that I am the most irritable around my boyfriend because he is the person about whom I care the most (with the possible exception, of course, of my family); thus, I am the most vulnerable, easily hurt, and therefore bitchy around him!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
well maybe its because your close with her!. Maybe one of her "Moods" is making her act that way when she really doesn't!. i would just try to be helpful!. If she lost you im sure she would be worse then she is now!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It doesn't get any better!. I dated a girl much like this for 4 years trying to make it work!. The more I tried to help, the less she listened to reason!.After a while concern for her well being became me telling her what to do, and things just got worse and worse!. Trust me when I say this!. If a girl has some kind of mental imbalance, it will break you long before she realizes it's even hurting you at all!. Because she'll be too busy battling herself, and her depression to have time to care!. Also bipolar by nature will make her do and say things to hurt you that she doesn't even intend to!. Meds may help, but it just leads to the person being more or less a zombiefied version of themselves!. It's tough dude, and it doesn't matter what anyone tells you to do, you're going to care, and things are going to go downhill!. Just be strong, and one way or another, things will eventually look up!. Such is lifeWww@Answer-Health@Com
I'm saying this becuase it sounds like what I went through when my meds were off balance!.!.!.
Stick it out!. Get her help!. If she keeps doing it you should probably leave her!. She may need the harsh slap of reality to realize she needs help!.
If she is willing to see someone you should try to wait until she gets in before leaving her, because it isn't fair to hold it against her if she's willing to get help!.
Don't let her treat you like crap!. Next time she goes out til 3 am, you need to go out til 3 am!. She's striving to get attention from you in a particular fashion!.
Don't let it get to you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Stick it out!. Get her help!. If she keeps doing it you should probably leave her!. She may need the harsh slap of reality to realize she needs help!.
If she is willing to see someone you should try to wait until she gets in before leaving her, because it isn't fair to hold it against her if she's willing to get help!.
Don't let her treat you like crap!. Next time she goes out til 3 am, you need to go out til 3 am!. She's striving to get attention from you in a particular fashion!.
Don't let it get to you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
honestly i think she is treating you that way because she wants to be in control of something because believe it or not when you have bi polar disorder depending on weather its type a or b!. if its type b you can always control it but my suggestion is she should take a different type of meds i used to take 2 different kinds but now im off completly and everythings fine for me!. i used to be the same way with my fiance but i wouldnt you know drink or say i dont like myself or him!. but i seemed to do better without it!. im not suggestin she should stop them maybe you can do some research on what the side affects of the medication and look at past reviews and see how other people reacted on that medication!. what is she on!? i may be able to help!. contact me achika_13@yahoo!.com hope i helped!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Bipolar episodes have high times and low times!. I work with a lady who is bipolar and we know when she is experiencing her high times!. She never shuts up, rambles on about nothing,I mean gives you a play by play minute by minute of what she has done the night before!. TMI at most times!. These days she wears this bright red lipstick,she never shuts up about stupid stuff,she wears alot of make up and some crazy head band in her hair!. She is well past 50!. Then there are days that she doesn't look like she has combed her hair, there isn't a drop of makeup on her face!. You ask her a question and she will just say I don't know or I can't think about that today!. Usually she leave work when she is having these days and states she will come back later in the evening to finish her paper work!. She also calls in alot on these down days!. She also cries at the drop of a hat when you point out that the work she is doing is completely wrong!. This is the type of behavior I have seen with the person I know that definitely has bipolar!.You need to make that she is just not using this as an excuse to go party with her friends but still get to keep you by her side when she wants to pull you off of her shelf,so to speak!. I would lay the law down and tell her you love her but that life is too short for you to be so unhappy and you deserve happiness!. God Bless and good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't mean to offend but from what you're saying about yourself and her, you two seem to resent each other a little!. It seems like you feel burdened and mistreated by her and she feels like you are on her case all the time!. You should give her some space, I think it would do you and her good!.
From what you have told me, I think you two just need to spend some time apart!. This sounds like a relationship on the rocks, not just bi-polar disorder!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
From what you have told me, I think you two just need to spend some time apart!. This sounds like a relationship on the rocks, not just bi-polar disorder!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Wow!. It's eerie how similar of a situation this is to me!. I am bipolar!. I just actually started seeking help at the beginning of the month!. My boyfriend has been asking these same questions!. I started taking depression meds about 2 weeks ago!.
I understand that your girlfriend needs to be held accountable for her actions, but sometimes it just gets really hard!. You need to make sure to let her know EVERYTHING you are thinking, so that she has the right idea of the picture!. It's really easy to warp a situation when you're struggling with depression!. Just make sure and talk to her calmly, tell her you love her a lot, even in the bad times!.
She also needs her space, but not too much of it!. Being alone is crucial to any human being, but allowing her a lot of alone time could put her head in the wrong place!.
I really think you should keep trying, man!. She obviously needs you!. It's the people you love the most that you can hurt the easiest!. She needs you right now!.
The best kind of treatment is a combination of meds, a counselor, AND a good attitude!.
Keep her chin up, or at least try!. It's her decision as to if she recovers or not!. She'll get better in time!.
Hope things start looking up!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I understand that your girlfriend needs to be held accountable for her actions, but sometimes it just gets really hard!. You need to make sure to let her know EVERYTHING you are thinking, so that she has the right idea of the picture!. It's really easy to warp a situation when you're struggling with depression!. Just make sure and talk to her calmly, tell her you love her a lot, even in the bad times!.
She also needs her space, but not too much of it!. Being alone is crucial to any human being, but allowing her a lot of alone time could put her head in the wrong place!.
I really think you should keep trying, man!. She obviously needs you!. It's the people you love the most that you can hurt the easiest!. She needs you right now!.
The best kind of treatment is a combination of meds, a counselor, AND a good attitude!.
Keep her chin up, or at least try!. It's her decision as to if she recovers or not!. She'll get better in time!.
Hope things start looking up!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com