Should I pull away from people?!
Question: Should I pull away from people!?
I've had depression, anxiety all my life!. I'm a 25 year old virgin!. I've not had many friends and most girlfriends i've had have noticed my ocd and left right away!. I've tried to make myself better the last 2 years by forcing myself into the bars and talking to people but that hasn't really helped me make a friend and the thing is, when I do meet a girl and she seems interested in me, I start to have a major panic attack to the point where I have to break it off!. I shake when I talk to people!. I always time the conversations and feel like a failure if I don't manage a long one!. I feel like I have nothing and that my life is coming to an end!. These feelings have only increased over the past couple months as i've been unable to even find a job!. I go out on weekends still hoping that i'll do something right but even in the bar, I feel alone!. Plus at this point I know i'm the last person someone would want to meet during a fun weekend so should I just stop trying for friend, girlfriend!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
dear CJ!.
your problem sounds overwhelming and it probably is!.
Even if you are not a great conversationalist DON,T
withdraw from people entirely!. You have been trying to make
contact in spite of your difficulty!. That shows great strength
of character!. Don't time your conversations!. It is just an exchange of ideas!. If you time yourself in your mind, you just distract yourself from the conversation itself!.
If you have access to healthcare see if
you can get help from a professional!.
This problem is too difficult to solve by yourselves!. Also they have very effective medication to help with ocd!. maybe
you could give that a try !.All the best to you !Www@Answer-Health@Com
your problem sounds overwhelming and it probably is!.
Even if you are not a great conversationalist DON,T
withdraw from people entirely!. You have been trying to make
contact in spite of your difficulty!. That shows great strength
of character!. Don't time your conversations!. It is just an exchange of ideas!. If you time yourself in your mind, you just distract yourself from the conversation itself!.
If you have access to healthcare see if
you can get help from a professional!.
This problem is too difficult to solve by yourselves!. Also they have very effective medication to help with ocd!. maybe
you could give that a try !.All the best to you !Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know how you feel, but you should definitely NOT pull away from people!. If its that much of a problem socializing maybe you should see a doctor about your depression or therapy!. Dont put so much pressure on yourself, interact with people little by little!. just be friendly and yourself!. Stop worrying about everyone else and focus on your confidence and happiness, then the rest will follow!. dont get overwhelmed, just take a breath!.
hope i helpedWww@Answer-Health@Com
hope i helpedWww@Answer-Health@Com
I would hope you have sought out therapy and if needed take medications!. You are not the only person in the world that has faced this problem and others have overcome it!. You should make getting better your first priority!. You may not be ready for a relationship right now!. It may add stress which you do not need!. Seek out the best help you can, then when you are better the other things will fall into place!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I also have anxiety and depression!. I still have a hard time with certain personalities, but I am better now!.
Don't stop trying to find a mate!. Do you really want to meet someone who hangs out at a bar!? There are other places that you can meet a nice girl!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Don't stop trying to find a mate!. Do you really want to meet someone who hangs out at a bar!? There are other places that you can meet a nice girl!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
ouch!. do you have aspergers!? do not pull away from people!. you'll get so lonely eventually you'll hurt yourself in some way!. i would go to a therapist!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Hello CJ,
I know I'm not an expert here but just to share with you my two cents worth, I think your condition should need a sound medical advise!. If you fear seeking this kind of help, perhaps you could try venturing into assessing first how you behave towards other people!.
You can do this by initially examining what it is that makes you shake whenever you deal with people!. Do you fear that you might say something wrong and they'll just turn their backs on you!? Or do you think of things that inhibit you from successfully engaging in a healthy conversation with someone!?
One thing is for sure, when negative thoughts start to occur, pretty soon it will take over you and I guess it's safe to say that this might be what's happening to you now!.
And taking it from your statement, that you are a 25 YEAR OLD VIRGIN means that you might actually be thinking that your being a virgin at your age is hampering you to develop your social skills!. Or it could just be one factor, among other things!.
When you have panic attacks, what is causing it!? How does it start!? And when it starts, what is on your mind!? How do you deal with the situation to the best of your capabilities that you are about to engage in a communication with another person!?
I know it's easier said than done, so it is best if you seek medical attention to help you understand yourself in such situations!.
Usually, it helps a lot when you have someone to share your inhibitions with a close buddy or friend, they are more likely to be receptive of your dilemma, and in effect will actually help you get through it!.
You can deal with other bullies given your situation, when you have successfully established a stronghold with your inner self and be confident enough to face them without mentally wrecking yourself in the process!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know I'm not an expert here but just to share with you my two cents worth, I think your condition should need a sound medical advise!. If you fear seeking this kind of help, perhaps you could try venturing into assessing first how you behave towards other people!.
You can do this by initially examining what it is that makes you shake whenever you deal with people!. Do you fear that you might say something wrong and they'll just turn their backs on you!? Or do you think of things that inhibit you from successfully engaging in a healthy conversation with someone!?
One thing is for sure, when negative thoughts start to occur, pretty soon it will take over you and I guess it's safe to say that this might be what's happening to you now!.
And taking it from your statement, that you are a 25 YEAR OLD VIRGIN means that you might actually be thinking that your being a virgin at your age is hampering you to develop your social skills!. Or it could just be one factor, among other things!.
When you have panic attacks, what is causing it!? How does it start!? And when it starts, what is on your mind!? How do you deal with the situation to the best of your capabilities that you are about to engage in a communication with another person!?
I know it's easier said than done, so it is best if you seek medical attention to help you understand yourself in such situations!.
Usually, it helps a lot when you have someone to share your inhibitions with a close buddy or friend, they are more likely to be receptive of your dilemma, and in effect will actually help you get through it!.
You can deal with other bullies given your situation, when you have successfully established a stronghold with your inner self and be confident enough to face them without mentally wrecking yourself in the process!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Don't pull away, cause you are right you will only make it worse!. You would then become more seclusive which is not a good thing!. You don't say if you are being treated for all that ales you like your depression and anxiety!. Or getting therapy for your OCD!. IF you are/were getting treated for these things you outlook and afflictions would be greatly improved!. Perhaps you should think about getting your life in order and get it back and not let these afflictions rule you!. You sound like a good person with crappy but curable mental illnesses!.
Back to your question, don't pull away from life, love and the persuit of happiness!.
Cheers~!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Back to your question, don't pull away from life, love and the persuit of happiness!.
Cheers~!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm wondering if you're being treated for your OCD, depression and anxiety!. If not, you should be!. On medication your OCD will not be as noticeable and people can get to know you before you share that information with them
I don't think you need to stay away from people but maybe look for them in a different place!. What kind of people are you expecting to meet in bars!? the only thing people who hang out in bars have in common is they drink too much so unless you can maintain a 15 minute conversation on how much you drink, you're sunk!.
Think of your interests, what do you enjoy!? If you like pets you can volunteer at a shelter, if you like to read join a book club, if you like to work with your hands take some kind of workshop through your parks and rec department or take a class at the community college!. the goal is to meet people that you have something in common with!. When you do, conversation will come easily!.
One more thing!. Don't go out to meet a girlfriend!. Try for friends first and eventually a friendship will develop into more!. I tell women this all the time, nothing is more unattractive to a man than a needy woman and it goes the other way around too!. You don't want to send out that "I want a girlfriend" vibe or you'll scare the good ones off!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't think you need to stay away from people but maybe look for them in a different place!. What kind of people are you expecting to meet in bars!? the only thing people who hang out in bars have in common is they drink too much so unless you can maintain a 15 minute conversation on how much you drink, you're sunk!.
Think of your interests, what do you enjoy!? If you like pets you can volunteer at a shelter, if you like to read join a book club, if you like to work with your hands take some kind of workshop through your parks and rec department or take a class at the community college!. the goal is to meet people that you have something in common with!. When you do, conversation will come easily!.
One more thing!. Don't go out to meet a girlfriend!. Try for friends first and eventually a friendship will develop into more!. I tell women this all the time, nothing is more unattractive to a man than a needy woman and it goes the other way around too!. You don't want to send out that "I want a girlfriend" vibe or you'll scare the good ones off!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Well first off, I don't think meeting people in a bar is a nice place to be meeting people, because then you may just get with a girl who's been around, has a few STD's and other things that you really just do not want!.
Pulling away from people is not the solution, you just need to put yourself in an environment that is actually good and isn't such a downer!. If you have depression, that is something really hard to deal with in your everyday life!. Pulling away will only make your depression worse, trust me I know!. When I pulled away from people that's when I started attempting suicide and cutting, and you don't wanna walk down that lane cuz it is not fun at all!.
Don't give up on making friends!. I'll be your friend =] Don't force yourself to do things!. What may help is to find out why your depressed, to find the source of your sadness and depression and try to work on that problem and fix it, cuz that's the first step to getting better!. and if you don't see a psychiatrist maybe you should or a therapist ((couselor))!. If a girl has a problem with you having a mental problem, then that's just messed up!. there is nothing wrong with it it's just normal now-a-days really!. almost everyone seems like they got a problem!. so if a girl has a problem with it then you know you just don't even wanna date her or be with her!.
good luck, don't back off from bein with people, you can talk to me whenever you want if you have a problem, i'm here for you!.
best of luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Pulling away from people is not the solution, you just need to put yourself in an environment that is actually good and isn't such a downer!. If you have depression, that is something really hard to deal with in your everyday life!. Pulling away will only make your depression worse, trust me I know!. When I pulled away from people that's when I started attempting suicide and cutting, and you don't wanna walk down that lane cuz it is not fun at all!.
Don't give up on making friends!. I'll be your friend =] Don't force yourself to do things!. What may help is to find out why your depressed, to find the source of your sadness and depression and try to work on that problem and fix it, cuz that's the first step to getting better!. and if you don't see a psychiatrist maybe you should or a therapist ((couselor))!. If a girl has a problem with you having a mental problem, then that's just messed up!. there is nothing wrong with it it's just normal now-a-days really!. almost everyone seems like they got a problem!. so if a girl has a problem with it then you know you just don't even wanna date her or be with her!.
good luck, don't back off from bein with people, you can talk to me whenever you want if you have a problem, i'm here for you!.
best of luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com