Help me pls!! im going insane thingking weather im DEPRESSED OR NOT?!?!


Question: Help me pls!! im going insane thingking weather im DEPRESSED OR NOT!?!!?
phew! okay!.!. well yeah i don't enjoy my life right now thinking bout all the probleeeems in my head and finding a way to solve it!. i feel like im not really depressed but since i always think about that im depressed then i became depressed!?! i dont know!! help me pls! well like i said i dont enjoy my life anymore like i used to but i feel like i'm just growing and changing!? bfore i always think that sumthings wrong w/ my head already and thats the time i became uneasy towards everyone!

i dont know what to do anymore!. im tired of thinking about my probs!. i dont know if im depressed! cuz i never tot about killing myself! and another is that i always enjoy myself when im alone!.!. but before i love ppls company so much!. so do you think this is depression!?!Www@Answer-Health@Com


Answers:
I think you should go to a doctor and talk to them about how you feel!. There are several types of depression and only a doctor can tell you for sure and help you if you are truly depressed!.

Here is my story:

I have been diagnosed with major depression with anxiety!. I have had several episodes in my life but the one I am going through right now is the very worst that I have ever experienced!.
I really didn't think a person could feel this low for so long!. I have been off work since February because I have given up on everything!.
I am lucky enough to have a wonderful, loving, caring, soul mate that has put up with me for this long!. She is very supportive and would do anything to make me feel better if she could!.
I have no energy at all, sad all the time, do not go anywhere EVER, crying spells, sleep and eat a whole lot more than I should, feel hopeless, helpless, useless and just stupid sometimes because my memory has been affected!.
I have been on most antidepressants on the market without much sucess!. I currently go to my theropist every week and my phycologist twice a month!. I am on 120mg of Cymbalta (antidepressant), 400mg of Provigil (stimulant), and 2mg xanax (for anxiety) per day and am still at rock bottom!.
I have the willpower and energy to do absolutely nothing ever! I don't care, plain and simple!. I don't know where to get that care back or how to make myself get up and do something, it's just not in me anymore!.
I was once a person that would empty the ashtray after each use and clean it because I was that anal about my house!. That person is gone and like I said, I don't know how to get her back!.
My heart goes out to everyone suffering from depression!.
I have been in the hospital 2 times since February and even went as far as to have electroshock treatments!.
I fight daily not to take my life because it's not worth living like this but, my soulmate helps me hang on one more day!. That's about all I can do is take life one day at a time and pray to God that he will help me through this horrible time in life!.
I want to get better and would do just about anything to be the person I once was, anal and all!.
I had a whole lot of childhood trama such as abuse, sexually and physically and emotionally!. I have been raped as an adult!. I have been married 2 times and am not currently married to my soulmate but only because it's not leagle where I live!. I crushed my hand in a machine and lost a finger due to that back in 95 which was tramatic to say the least!. I have health problems besides the depression and am currently over 250 pounds!. (I have always been a large person but not FAT like this) I have no self esteme at all!. The medications take away my sex drive completely and I have not had sexual relations in about a year now!. I smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day and have no desire to stop because it's a comfort to me and believe me, I need all the comfort I can get!.
Due to not working, I have used all my savings to live and for medications and the doctor bills!. I do have my 401K left but, there are such penelties for early withdrawl that, it's not worth it to mess with it!.
The end of this month, I will have to give my notice at my apartment because my lease will be up and the rent will go way up and I won't be able to afford it!. The end of July I will have to move into my soulmates sisters house to make it in life until I can get back to work!.
I don't have the energy to bathe and take care of myself most days, I do not have any idea how I will move because I will have little help and I have a whole lot of things in here!. (I have 28 houseplants alone that I can't care for)
The house I will be moving into is not clean enough to move into because she has 5 children and is down with severe arthritus and her husband is just lazy and so it's nasty!. I will somehow HAVE to either have it cleaned and painted or do it myslef and neither option is feasable at this point!.
We will have the front living room and the back bedroom to cram a 2 bedroom (large) apartment full into which is impossible too!.
I will be helping with her bills while living there so I won't have the money to rent a storage unit!.
Thank God I am still receiving short term disability from work but, it's only 60% of my pay and I have to pay my medical insurance out of that and all my co-pays on the doctor visits and prescriptions which leaves me with very little to live on!. (I know I would save money if I quit smoking but I smoke cigarettes that are really cheap and i honestly think that I wouldn't make it if I had to give them up!. Still, it wouldn't be enough to make my bills here even if I didn't spend the money on cigarettes)
I have so much to deal with during the worst time of my life which is the reason I think life is not worth living most of the time!. I hang in there tho, I don't have much hope but I pray a whole lot and I am trying to do anything I possibly can to make life better for myself and my g/f!.
My family does not support me as they all live out of state and most of the abuse in my childhood has caused me to build a wall with my mother because she knew it was going on and let it happen!.
My best friend for 15 years or more lives close to me but has turned into a 'it's all about me' person and does not care about me anymore altho when she needed help years ago, I moved 4 states away to help her while she was down!.
I feel as though I have no one left but my soulmate/girlfriend!. Everyone I have met while living in this state, I have not made true connections with as far as 'trusting friends' goes so, pretty much, I am alone!. Everyone needs more than one person in their lives and especially dealing with major depression!.
I have my girlfriends family but, when it all comes down to the nitty gritty, they will be on her side because it's her family!. Don't get me wrong, my g/f and I do not have fights or many disagreements and have been together for 10 years in November so, her family taking sides isn't a problem!.
I don't know what your situation with depression is like but, I know it's hell to live through!. Trying to convince yourself not to take your own life on a daily basis is the worst feeling I can imagine!.
I am not posting this for sympathy in anyway because I do think that one day I will be better but for now, it's hard!
I will keep you in my prayers and ask for all the prayers I can get!.
I hope things get better for you!!Www@Answer-Health@Com

Ask for what you need, not for what you think you ought to want!. Follow what you feel, not what you think you should feel!. Be who you are, not who you wish you were, or who others would like to imagine you as!. It all sounds very sensible when you say it like this!. Under the pressure of day-to-day life, though, we can easily succumb to the wrong sort of influences!. But all you have to do now is find your own voice and speak with it!. You have nothing to feel ashamed of or afraid of!. You have everything to play for!.

!!~~!!~~!!Www@Answer-Health@Com

easier said than done, but is the only n00b advice I can give you: try not to think too much about it!.
Maybe THINKING whether you're depressed or not, is actually the only reason of you feeling depressed!.Www@Answer-Health@Com

Life sucks sometimes!. If you have depression, you may feel hopeless and sad or stop feeling pleasure from almost everything you do!. You may feel down in the dumps, tearful, or discouraged!. You may also be irritable or anxious or have low energy levels!. The symptoms of depression are often subtle at first!. It can be hard to recognize that symptoms may be connected and that you might have depression!.


The two most significant symptoms of depression are:

* Sadness or hopelessness!.
* Loss of interest in or pleasure from most daily activities!.

Other symptoms include:

* Losing or gaining weight because of changes in appetite!.
* Sleeping too much or not enough!.
* Feeling restless and unable to sit still, or feeling that moving takes a great effort!.
* Feeling tired all the time!.
* Feeling unworthy or guilty without an obvious reason!.
* Having problems concentrating, remembering, or making decisions!.
* Thinking often about death or suicide!.

If you have at least FIVE of these symptoms for 2 weeks or longer, and one of the symptoms is either sadness or loss of interest, you may be diagnosed with major depression that needs treatment!. Even if you have fewer than five symptoms, you may still be depressed and need treatment!.Www@Answer-Health@Com





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