Jealous of Boyfriend's Ex...??!
Question: Jealous of Boyfriend's Ex!.!.!.!?!?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years!. We have a good relationship, other than the fact that I am very jealous of his ex girlfriend!. It's gone way beyond a little jealousy and into complete obsession!. I am often comparing our relationship to the relationship they had, and I'm completely obsessed with her!. I go to her myspace page all the time, as well as all the other websites and message boards she belongs to!. The main reason that I am jealous of her is because she is friends with most of his friends!. They were together for 3 yrs and within that time she became very close with his friends and family, and stayed close with his friends!. Him and I have been together for 2 1/2 yrs and I barely know any of his friends or family! He keeps me seperate from that part of his life, which really bothers me!. His ex is a gangsta wannabe and all she does is smoke weed and she strips for a living!. I am nothing like his ex, we are complete opposites!. I'm skinny, she's fat!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
sweetie i am in the same boat!. my fiance was married for 8 years and they have two amazing boys!. i am unable to have children due to a car wreck back in 1992!. i do all the things you do!.!.!.check her myspace page 2 or 3 times a day, check her yahoo 360 page everyday (even though she doesn't use it that much anymore), if she calls my fiance i have to listen on the other line, i mean it had gotten way out of hand!. neither one of us liked each other!. (his ex and myself) she would right blogs (which i have never done, i dont even have a myspace page) about me being southern, skinny and would say that i am high maintenance!. she IS an alcoholic, she has let herself go and she is very boyish!. i cant help i was raised with better respect for myself, and i carry myself as lady at all times!. i was jealous of her just for the fact they have kids together!. she is only allowed 3 days out of the week to see the boys because of her drinking!. she will not stop even for her own flesh and blood!. this has been going on for 2 years!.
for the boys sake and well being i had to get control of the situation!. i called her and told her for the boys sake this all had to come to an end!. i told her i did not like her and mostly never would, and i knew she felt the same about me!. that i have never bad mouthed her in front of the boys!. she would tell them to call me hussy, tramp, and tell them not to listen to anything i say!. i told her that this was causing the boys pain!. that we had to settle our petty differences and do it for the boys sake!. after talking to her for about 2 hours, things are better!. my fiance doesnt talk to her anymore when she calls, i do!. it has made my relationship with my fiance so much better!. killing her with kindness is what i have done this whole time!.
i still have my issues of checking her pages out each day!. i still feel jealous because i cant have any children with my fiance, but i have to work that out for myself!.
this is only my opinion!.!.!.i dont know how old you are, but if i were you, i would call her try to get your differences resolved!. when my fiance's ex & i first started talking that day it was a yelling match, but after about 10 minutes we both calmed down and we were able to talk!.
maybe you should try to realize you had a better upbringing!. that your life is better then hers!. you have your man, she doesnt! he wants you, not someone that has no respect for themselves and acts trashy!. thats what i have had to do!. he loves me, not her!. if he loved her he would be with her, not me! even though she is friends with his friends, from what you say, thats not the kind of crowd a person of your stature should associate with! she sounds like the trashy type and you are so much better then that! you're well educated, proper upbringing, sound mind, better looking and most of all you have respect for yourself!! if you keep these things in the front of your thinking, you will come to believe it! learn she has NOTHING on you! you have the best of both worlds, you have a man that loves YOU and a man that wants YOU!!!
please feel free to email me anytime!. i would love to be of some support!. my heart goes out to you! your life will always be better then hers!.!.!.keep that in mind! she is most likely extremely jealous of you!!!
take care!.!.!.you'll be in my thoughts! i wish you nothing less than the very best!
hugs,
Lesli
ps!. sorry for all the typo's ~ i've got to go pick up the boys!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
for the boys sake and well being i had to get control of the situation!. i called her and told her for the boys sake this all had to come to an end!. i told her i did not like her and mostly never would, and i knew she felt the same about me!. that i have never bad mouthed her in front of the boys!. she would tell them to call me hussy, tramp, and tell them not to listen to anything i say!. i told her that this was causing the boys pain!. that we had to settle our petty differences and do it for the boys sake!. after talking to her for about 2 hours, things are better!. my fiance doesnt talk to her anymore when she calls, i do!. it has made my relationship with my fiance so much better!. killing her with kindness is what i have done this whole time!.
i still have my issues of checking her pages out each day!. i still feel jealous because i cant have any children with my fiance, but i have to work that out for myself!.
this is only my opinion!.!.!.i dont know how old you are, but if i were you, i would call her try to get your differences resolved!. when my fiance's ex & i first started talking that day it was a yelling match, but after about 10 minutes we both calmed down and we were able to talk!.
maybe you should try to realize you had a better upbringing!. that your life is better then hers!. you have your man, she doesnt! he wants you, not someone that has no respect for themselves and acts trashy!. thats what i have had to do!. he loves me, not her!. if he loved her he would be with her, not me! even though she is friends with his friends, from what you say, thats not the kind of crowd a person of your stature should associate with! she sounds like the trashy type and you are so much better then that! you're well educated, proper upbringing, sound mind, better looking and most of all you have respect for yourself!! if you keep these things in the front of your thinking, you will come to believe it! learn she has NOTHING on you! you have the best of both worlds, you have a man that loves YOU and a man that wants YOU!!!
please feel free to email me anytime!. i would love to be of some support!. my heart goes out to you! your life will always be better then hers!.!.!.keep that in mind! she is most likely extremely jealous of you!!!
take care!.!.!.you'll be in my thoughts! i wish you nothing less than the very best!
hugs,
Lesli
ps!. sorry for all the typo's ~ i've got to go pick up the boys!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You have to tell him what you feel about her ex!.!.but don't be so jealous on her because she's PAST & your the present!. Don't always compare yourself to her!.
You have to trust your boyfriend and push your boyfriend away from you by too much jealousy!Www@Answer-Health@Com
You have to trust your boyfriend and push your boyfriend away from you by too much jealousy!Www@Answer-Health@Com
SIT AND THINK AND WORK IT OUT TIME IS LOVE AND WHEN YOU CAN NOT LOVE EACH OTHER AND GET RID OF THE OLD FLINGS AND BE FRIENDS THEN YOU SHOULD GO ON YOUR WAY AND BE FRIENDS AND GO BACK TO YOUR OLD THINGS AND LEAVE IT THAT AND SAY I TRIED BUT YOU WILL THINK LATER YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE IT ANOTHER WAY,,,,,,THINK AND WORK IT OUTWww@Answer-Health@Com
I think you should take a deep breath and relax!.
He's your boyfriend, not hers!.
If it helps, you should sit down with your boyfriend, and talk to him!. Tell him how you feel!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
He's your boyfriend, not hers!.
If it helps, you should sit down with your boyfriend, and talk to him!. Tell him how you feel!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I agree with the first answer I also agree that we haven't heard his side of the story!.
You sound immature!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You sound immature!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
it's natural to be jealous of the ex!.!.but to search her pages like that isn't!. I dunno, to me myspace and facebook and all that crap got me so stressed out in a previous relationship!. since then, i deleted my accounts on both websites and im in a relationship now where, yea, of course i wonder what he does on his, but i dont feel compelled to look at it because i know i dont have an account!. so step 1, id delete your accounts on the websites!.!.they are not good for relationships!!! you obviously see yourself as a better more refined girlfriend than his ex, so just try remembering that your boyfriend thinks the same way because he's with you now!. you're the special one to him now!. there will always be an ex and even though its hard to accept that we weren't the first ones our boyfriends' hearts belonged to, we have to try because theres no way around it!. try talking to him, ask him what the deal is with not going out with his friends and family that much!. just try and speak your mind without sounding angry or jealous!.!.that tends to push guys away!. the key is to talk to him!.!.get your feelings out in the open and tell him how much it upsets you!. and remember!.!.you can't compare relationships, every one is different!. just appreciate what you have for what it is!.!.and what it wasnt with the exWww@Answer-Health@Com
so!.!.do u think he may go back to her!? if not, then u shouldnt be obsessing over someone that he isn't with!.!.y would u compare yourself to someone he doesnt want to be with!? obviously they broke up for a reason, and for 2 1/2 years he hasnt gotten back with her!. maybe their relationship isnt what he wanted!.!.!.maybe he didnt like how close she was with his friends and family!. she was probably a whore (but thats experience talking)!.!.!.it sounds like something dramatic needs to happen before your going to get over this jealousy, and if it doesnt!.!.!.u may need to end this!. there's no use making yourself miserable everyday over it!. i can completely relate!.!.!.i once did the same thing (checking myspace/facebook) and i really didnt want to, but it was like a had to!.!.!.like i didnt feel right until i did it!.
id say you either start making strides to get over it (start by not checking her page every day)!.!.!.or end the relationship all togetherWww@Answer-Health@Com
id say you either start making strides to get over it (start by not checking her page every day)!.!.!.or end the relationship all togetherWww@Answer-Health@Com
I find that usually people who smoke dope tend to hang out with people who smoke dope!. Sounds like some of his friends that are also friends with her smoke dope!. That might be the reason he does not want you to hang out with them he has more respect for you then to introduce you to trash!.
Maybe he is trying to better himself by hanging out with you!. Don't try to drag yourself down to fit in have him step up to your level!. Introduce him to your friends and you guys can make some new friends together and have a new future together with all new friends that are friend's with both of you!.
I don't think his old friends she is still friends with are that close to him or he would have not been able to keep you apart!.
Get a grip on yourself do not be jealous of a loser like his ex why do u think she is a ex say it with me loser!.
If he thinks you are a angel keep it that way you don't have to tell him everything about you!. He obviously wants to protect you that is a man's way of expressing his love for you!.
He does not give a hoot who is ex is hanging out with that is a good sign for you!.
You did not mention if he has meet your family!. If you have not introduced him to your family do so!. Go out to dinner with your parents and take him!. He will get to feel more comfortable and will eventually invite you to meet his family!.
Now the last thing you have told him how you feel about this ex now is the time to shut up about that you have made your feelings know let it go and if you can't get it off your mind that is not his fault so don't attack him with it he will not appreciate that at all and it will cause tension in your relationship!.
OK one more thing if he wants to leave you or go back to her which I doubt!. There is nothing you can do to stop him but if you want to leave him or go back to a ex he cannot stop you either!. So are you going to waste you time worrying about something you have no control over or are you going to make the time you have together enjoyable!? This is your choice what's it going to be!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Maybe he is trying to better himself by hanging out with you!. Don't try to drag yourself down to fit in have him step up to your level!. Introduce him to your friends and you guys can make some new friends together and have a new future together with all new friends that are friend's with both of you!.
I don't think his old friends she is still friends with are that close to him or he would have not been able to keep you apart!.
Get a grip on yourself do not be jealous of a loser like his ex why do u think she is a ex say it with me loser!.
If he thinks you are a angel keep it that way you don't have to tell him everything about you!. He obviously wants to protect you that is a man's way of expressing his love for you!.
He does not give a hoot who is ex is hanging out with that is a good sign for you!.
You did not mention if he has meet your family!. If you have not introduced him to your family do so!. Go out to dinner with your parents and take him!. He will get to feel more comfortable and will eventually invite you to meet his family!.
Now the last thing you have told him how you feel about this ex now is the time to shut up about that you have made your feelings know let it go and if you can't get it off your mind that is not his fault so don't attack him with it he will not appreciate that at all and it will cause tension in your relationship!.
OK one more thing if he wants to leave you or go back to her which I doubt!. There is nothing you can do to stop him but if you want to leave him or go back to a ex he cannot stop you either!. So are you going to waste you time worrying about something you have no control over or are you going to make the time you have together enjoyable!? This is your choice what's it going to be!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't mean to offend you, but you should grow up and if you can't handle that then you should break up with him and move on!.
It has been over two years and you are still hung up on his ex-g/f, the problem isn't with him, but with you!.
Do you think she is better than you!?
Do you think she looks better!?
Or do you think you should be the striper and not her!?
Do you think your b/f like her more than you!?
If you answered yes to any of this question, then yes the problem does lie within you and the way you see your self!. So what if she knows his family and friends, she was with him longer than you have been with him now, at least he doesn't have to be looking over his shoulder because their break up was a violent one!. Obsessing over her and her way of life is going to ruin yours, and the life you have with your b/f now, eventually it will be come to much for him and he is going to say enough and break up with you, the best thing for you is to move on now and not wait for him to drop you!. You should know though, that even though I don't know you I think you have done a great job with your self, to turn your life around from the way you used to be takes a lot of strength and courage from within don't mess it all up by being insecure about your b/f
It has been over two years and you are still hung up on his ex-g/f, the problem isn't with him, but with you!.
Do you think she is better than you!?
Do you think she looks better!?
Or do you think you should be the striper and not her!?
Do you think your b/f like her more than you!?
If you answered yes to any of this question, then yes the problem does lie within you and the way you see your self!. So what if she knows his family and friends, she was with him longer than you have been with him now, at least he doesn't have to be looking over his shoulder because their break up was a violent one!. Obsessing over her and her way of life is going to ruin yours, and the life you have with your b/f now, eventually it will be come to much for him and he is going to say enough and break up with you, the best thing for you is to move on now and not wait for him to drop you!. You should know though, that even though I don't know you I think you have done a great job with your self, to turn your life around from the way you used to be takes a lot of strength and courage from within don't mess it all up by being insecure about your b/f
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