I feel extremely depressed?!
Question: I feel extremely depressed!?
i'm scaring myself alot!. I hate people who brag about being depressed like it's a good thing!. I'm 13 and I've been clinically depressed since I was six!. When I was six my parents started giving me ant depressants(perscription and not strong ones) and ever since i was old enough to realize I refused o take them!. I don't believe in them!. I think that they mess with ur brain and it's stimulating ur emotions!.
First of all, if ur gonna give me **** for having numerous problems, stop reading now!. Last year I didn't eat for days at a time and I would eat a small amount again after throwing up the stomach acids!. I know it's sick and I hate myself for it!. Just recently I tried bulimia (again, huge mistake)!. And that started getting very addictive!. Before that!.!.!.(the f*ck ups just keep listing, I know)!.!.!. I cut a lot!. I've always thought about suicide, but I hate suicide and think of it as a pathetic thing that pathetic people do because they can't handle life!. I really need help!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
First of all, if ur gonna give me **** for having numerous problems, stop reading now!. Last year I didn't eat for days at a time and I would eat a small amount again after throwing up the stomach acids!. I know it's sick and I hate myself for it!. Just recently I tried bulimia (again, huge mistake)!. And that started getting very addictive!. Before that!.!.!.(the f*ck ups just keep listing, I know)!.!.!. I cut a lot!. I've always thought about suicide, but I hate suicide and think of it as a pathetic thing that pathetic people do because they can't handle life!. I really need help!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
i'm 23!. i've been told by many people of all ages that i'm a good looking guy!. but the reality is i live a dreary life for about 12 years!. it's hard to believe in god when life is like a prison!. people i met want to hurt me, take advantage of me!. ever since i went to college my life has become a high security mental prison!. i live alone!. and i'm always alone!. i met the same kind of people that want to hurt me!.!.!.my psychiatrist diagnosed me and said i have bipolar disorder and prescribed me drugs but i never took the time to get them!. she said i'm unlucky to meet a bunch of jealous guys that envy me with hatred!. i refused to believe her!. i keep thinking all the bad things and think it's all my fault!. i am so lonely here and i thought about suicide many times too!. i tried to stab myself once but somehow for some reason i stopped the knife from penetrating through my stomach!. instead, i cut my arm but it didn't bleed because i couldn't do it because i was on the phone with my mom!. i can't do this because she will suffer!. everyone tells me to take pills but i don't take antidepressants because i don't want to think that i'm crazy and different!. but i bet if i do take antidepressants i'd be dead by now!. i'd defintely overdose myself because i've been thinking about that everytime i feel like ****!. i cried often!. i cried when i read people who share similar problems of mine!. i tried to tell my problems to my brother, my mom, dad!.!.!.none of them understand!. i just told my problems again to a waiter that knew me for about a year!. this restaurant i went for years by myself!. he does not understand either and simply told me "just be happy"!. i felt so embarrassed and weak that i'm planning not going back to that restaurant for at least a month!. i know depression hurts!.!.!.it's like your brain is on a sizzling frying pan on low temp for years and years and years!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. i can't sleep at night!. my brain can never stop thinking about all my failures and all the bad **** in my life!. i don't feel like eating when i'm depressed!. ironically i binge eat on chocolates when i feel angry!. but i've been coping with my problems lately because my mom has been supportive!. i told her at least pretend you understand!. i've found that the best way is to find someone that will listen!. i'm lucky to have a supportive mom!. i stopped seeing my psychiatrist long time ago because i don't think she understand either!. all that degrees, med school for nothing!. my mom did a better job!. my mom doesn't understand well either but i told her that just listen that's all you need to do!. be there for me and listen like you care and say good things to me especially about my future!. i tell her to make me feel wanted!. make me feel needed!. make me feel loved!. make me feel alive!. make me feel there is still hope!. hope!. hope!. i must say the effects are temporary, she has to say the same thing to me everytime i call her!.!.!.repeatedly!. it feels better when you can let out your emotions because it's like cold water is splashed onto that sizzling frying pan!. but of course, the heat would get back frying your brain again!. you just need to find the right person to talk to again and let out your emotions!. if you don't let it out i feel the hotter the frying pan gets!. we just have to believe life will be better after!. just believe!.!.!.that's all i can say!. believe!. believe!. believe!. i fooled myself temporarily of course to believe it tnat eventually i do believe it sometimes!. everytime whenever i feel like dying just keep telling myself "believe life will be good after this"!.
and one last thing i'd like to share with you whether you would believe it or not!. it's just like life can be fair in the long run!. people who enjoyed life young usually have a harder life later on!. people who suffered young will have a better life later on!. and i found lots of evidence to support this!. you can research this around and ask and see if that's the case!. so if this is true, your life will change!. i promise!. you must believe because there is no other ways we can do to help ourself!. only way is to believe!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
and one last thing i'd like to share with you whether you would believe it or not!. it's just like life can be fair in the long run!. people who enjoyed life young usually have a harder life later on!. people who suffered young will have a better life later on!. and i found lots of evidence to support this!. you can research this around and ask and see if that's the case!. so if this is true, your life will change!. i promise!. you must believe because there is no other ways we can do to help ourself!. only way is to believe!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
go the emergency room and tell them ur suicidal believe me it works i was in the stress center for two days last week please dont hurt yourself and be very honest and open with the doctor and they will helpWww@Answer-Health@Com
Unless you can dramatically change your way of thinking, you need help!. I don't open up to therapists either, but that hasn't stopped me!. You have to be open to help!. My previous therapist left for another job, so now I am therapist-less!. The clinic never contacted me for a month!.!.!.so I called them and asked!. I will be getting another therapist!. Therapy hasn't really helped me; I've been there for 7 months!. I have to try medication!.Www@Answer-Health@Com