Bipolar and enabling?!
Question: Bipolar and enabling!?
My husband has bipolar!. I told his mother he isn't thinking clearly right now and cannot make any decision, especially financial!. I told her that we cannot afford to spend money on extras for a few weeks!. He is obsessed with getting this stereo system in his truck!.
He needs work done on the truck so it can pass inspection, but we don't know what needs done to pass inspection yet!.
His mom decided to loan him the money for the stereo and we could pay her back when ever we could!. I am frustrated that she always gives in to him!.
We have priorities to take care of first!. He says he is tired of waiting for things!. I always go without things I want because I can never save up the money!. He doesn
Answers:
He needs work done on the truck so it can pass inspection, but we don't know what needs done to pass inspection yet!.
His mom decided to loan him the money for the stereo and we could pay her back when ever we could!. I am frustrated that she always gives in to him!.
We have priorities to take care of first!. He says he is tired of waiting for things!. I always go without things I want because I can never save up the money!. He doesn
Answers:
As a person with bipolar, there are some things you have to do like go shopping, eat a certain pizza, ice cream, spend money, run and hike to help keep you sane!.
You don't really have a choice on what you want though!. You pick it up in a certain mood but you can't let it go or change it!.
It gets really frustrating!. It's an addiction plain and simple!.
If you try to get rid of it, you get left worse off than before!. I wish it were easy but I can't explain how hard it is!. If you try to change some addictions you could develop drug use, suicidal behavior, some kind of self mutilation, or something worst!. I tried to get rid of one behavior and was left thinking i needed hardcore drugs like ecstacy and crystal meth!. I've seen the damage they can do, but I was in a desperate mood and I knew my mind was playing tricks on me!.
My only hope is you can find safe addictions like Halo 3 online or something similar to occupy time and keep away bad thoughts and moods!.
With bipolar, there is no such thing as reality!. It's very hard to believe but you feel like you live in a constant dream or nightmare!. Your only holding on for dear life!. You have no idea how bad it makes a bipolar person feel when they know they can't control certain things!. Bipolar people just want people to be there for them because they know they can't be there for themselves or they'd self-destruct like promiscuous relationships, drug use, smoking, alcohol addiction, etc!.
I wish you the best of luck it's a very hard mental disease to deal with!. I have the hardest time controlling it!. It's almost impossible!. What hurts the most is you can't trust your emotions!. So you can feel lost alot of the time and just try to find and get something that can make you feel just a little better!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You don't really have a choice on what you want though!. You pick it up in a certain mood but you can't let it go or change it!.
It gets really frustrating!. It's an addiction plain and simple!.
If you try to get rid of it, you get left worse off than before!. I wish it were easy but I can't explain how hard it is!. If you try to change some addictions you could develop drug use, suicidal behavior, some kind of self mutilation, or something worst!. I tried to get rid of one behavior and was left thinking i needed hardcore drugs like ecstacy and crystal meth!. I've seen the damage they can do, but I was in a desperate mood and I knew my mind was playing tricks on me!.
My only hope is you can find safe addictions like Halo 3 online or something similar to occupy time and keep away bad thoughts and moods!.
With bipolar, there is no such thing as reality!. It's very hard to believe but you feel like you live in a constant dream or nightmare!. Your only holding on for dear life!. You have no idea how bad it makes a bipolar person feel when they know they can't control certain things!. Bipolar people just want people to be there for them because they know they can't be there for themselves or they'd self-destruct like promiscuous relationships, drug use, smoking, alcohol addiction, etc!.
I wish you the best of luck it's a very hard mental disease to deal with!. I have the hardest time controlling it!. It's almost impossible!. What hurts the most is you can't trust your emotions!. So you can feel lost alot of the time and just try to find and get something that can make you feel just a little better!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
talk to him about it and tell his mother stop spoiling him, he's in a lot of debt!. Explain to him that you can't just spend money on something that is not needed, he can save up for it next time!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Talk to him about it calmly so it doesn't turn into a fight!.
I'm in a similar situation!. My boyfriend has bi-polar disorder and he spends money like it's nothing, especially on his car!. He needs to be constantly working on his car to keep him sane!. Maybe that's your husband's problem!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm in a similar situation!. My boyfriend has bi-polar disorder and he spends money like it's nothing, especially on his car!. He needs to be constantly working on his car to keep him sane!. Maybe that's your husband's problem!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Is he on medication!?
Yes, his mom is enabling him, but that isn't the real problem and won't change him one way or the other!. He needs help!.
I feel sorry for you married to someone with bi polar!. My son was with a gal who had it and he was hurt over and over by her weird actions!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Yes, his mom is enabling him, but that isn't the real problem and won't change him one way or the other!. He needs help!.
I feel sorry for you married to someone with bi polar!. My son was with a gal who had it and he was hurt over and over by her weird actions!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think you are right to be frustrated!. My younger sister is also bipolar and my mother constantly enables her giving her money and clothes!.!.!. because - she doesn't have much!.!.!. but yet she can go out and spend $300 on a Wii and she's married!
She has been to three different colleges over the last 6-8 years to get her degree and never follows through - yet my mom still pays for her to do that!. She's 26 years old!. She needs to grow up and stand up on her own two feet!.!.!. bipolar and all!. I love her to death!.!.!. but she isn't learning anything and my mom is using my sisters bipolar as an excuse!.
I totallllllly feel your pain and frustration!.
in reference to Toast's message below - i was simply trying to relate to her and let her know that yes, it's ok to feel frustrated!.!.!. sometimes we can't always change the way others behave - especially our family members!.!.!. it is frustrating and it's ok to feel that way - even if someone is diagnosed with bipolar!. I was answering her question - or so I thought!. Sometime other people - while talking about themselves are also trying to let other people know that they aren't alone and that things like this happen to lots of people!. (besides her actual question was "Do you think I should have the right to be upset and frustrated!?" I was answering that!.!.!. not giving advise like you that wasn't necessarily asked for!.)Www@Answer-Health@Com
She has been to three different colleges over the last 6-8 years to get her degree and never follows through - yet my mom still pays for her to do that!. She's 26 years old!. She needs to grow up and stand up on her own two feet!.!.!. bipolar and all!. I love her to death!.!.!. but she isn't learning anything and my mom is using my sisters bipolar as an excuse!.
I totallllllly feel your pain and frustration!.
in reference to Toast's message below - i was simply trying to relate to her and let her know that yes, it's ok to feel frustrated!.!.!. sometimes we can't always change the way others behave - especially our family members!.!.!. it is frustrating and it's ok to feel that way - even if someone is diagnosed with bipolar!. I was answering her question - or so I thought!. Sometime other people - while talking about themselves are also trying to let other people know that they aren't alone and that things like this happen to lots of people!. (besides her actual question was "Do you think I should have the right to be upset and frustrated!?" I was answering that!.!.!. not giving advise like you that wasn't necessarily asked for!.)Www@Answer-Health@Com
I feel for ya! I am kinda in that same situation!. We own a business and want to do it on our OWN - NO family money!. But his Mum keeps sticking her nose in!.!.!.!.!.!. He's 40 and she is still buying his clothes!. Wrong size, wrong clothes (he wears casual t-shirts and shorts NOT shirts w/ colars EVER) and RUNS to do whatever he thinks he needs on any given day!. Do not think that you are alone, cause your not!. I atleast am not dealing w/ the bipilorness (even though some days I question, seriously)!.
I have to put alot of humor into our daily life!. I think things like, well maybe she knows how much of a drunk she was when she was raising him and ignoring him and making up for it now!. Maybe she doesn't want him to raise a child in a trailer like she raised hers!.!.!.!.!.!.!. maybe she feels guilty about his mental issues - like it was her fault and she has to fix things for him!. I have talked to my mum-in-law and expressed our desire to be left alone financially!. It works for a while till a new bag of clothes shows up!. Now I just take them back cause they won't fit him and buy myself something nice - or steaks for dinner and invite her over!.!.!.!. And have a glass of wine!. Breath deep! and good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I have to put alot of humor into our daily life!. I think things like, well maybe she knows how much of a drunk she was when she was raising him and ignoring him and making up for it now!. Maybe she doesn't want him to raise a child in a trailer like she raised hers!.!.!.!.!.!.!. maybe she feels guilty about his mental issues - like it was her fault and she has to fix things for him!. I have talked to my mum-in-law and expressed our desire to be left alone financially!. It works for a while till a new bag of clothes shows up!. Now I just take them back cause they won't fit him and buy myself something nice - or steaks for dinner and invite her over!.!.!.!. And have a glass of wine!. Breath deep! and good luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I am the enabler in my situation!.!.!.my husband has BPD which has similary symptoms to bi-polar and i was the one always bailing him out!. i have recently stopped giving into him and it has made him accountable for his actions!. your mother in law needs to understand and respect your wishes!. she needs to learn that she is actually harming him instead of helping him!.
you have every right to be frustrated!. maybe your mother in law needs to learn more about bi-polar and learn other more beneficial ways to help him out!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
you have every right to be frustrated!. maybe your mother in law needs to learn more about bi-polar and learn other more beneficial ways to help him out!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
my sister has bipolar disorder and she's typically fine as long as she is on her meds!.
i don't know if your husband has prescribed medicine, but i hope he does!. if he isn't then i would plead with him to take them because i know how it can be if they don't take them!. it can be incredibly frustrating and stressful!.
you have every right to be angry with his mother!. i would confront her about it and ask her to help you!. besides, she probably does that because she doesn't like dealing with the issues he has!. i know that my sister gets obsessed with things a lot and loses sleep over them sometimes!. it's a real problem and i would tell her that if she loves them that she needs to stop because she is causing undue stress on you and your relationship with your husband!.
i never understood why people (especially mothers) don't understand that someone that has bipolar disorder doesn't think rationally all the time!. my mother gives the same coddling treatment as your husbands' mom gives!. anyway, good luck and i hope everything turns out well with "THE TALK"Www@Answer-Health@Com
i don't know if your husband has prescribed medicine, but i hope he does!. if he isn't then i would plead with him to take them because i know how it can be if they don't take them!. it can be incredibly frustrating and stressful!.
you have every right to be angry with his mother!. i would confront her about it and ask her to help you!. besides, she probably does that because she doesn't like dealing with the issues he has!. i know that my sister gets obsessed with things a lot and loses sleep over them sometimes!. it's a real problem and i would tell her that if she loves them that she needs to stop because she is causing undue stress on you and your relationship with your husband!.
i never understood why people (especially mothers) don't understand that someone that has bipolar disorder doesn't think rationally all the time!. my mother gives the same coddling treatment as your husbands' mom gives!. anyway, good luck and i hope everything turns out well with "THE TALK"Www@Answer-Health@Com
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