Caring for elderly couple with dementia, recent heart surgery and manipulative p!
Question: Caring for elderly couple with dementia, recent heart surgery and manipulative personality disorder!?
Can anyone offer any feedback!? My friend is caring for his aging grandparents and they are driving him nuts!.
There is no one else, except a pca to care for the gps!.
While his grandfather is recovering (much slower than expected) his gm is controlling his every move!. She crys and has nervous breakdowns when he does not return home when she tells him to, cant be alone, and puts him down!.
His gf has dementia and is very unhappy in the hospital!.
He complains about it to me and everything is really starting to wear on him!. What is a win-win strategy for him to follw in coping with this situation!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
There is no one else, except a pca to care for the gps!.
While his grandfather is recovering (much slower than expected) his gm is controlling his every move!. She crys and has nervous breakdowns when he does not return home when she tells him to, cant be alone, and puts him down!.
His gf has dementia and is very unhappy in the hospital!.
He complains about it to me and everything is really starting to wear on him!. What is a win-win strategy for him to follw in coping with this situation!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
That's a very difficult situations!.
I have bipolar and know what it is to feel yourself loose your mind!. It's terrifying!. I hope he understands that his mom has to be experiencing this!. She also must have more fears about her husband's health and the possiblily of being alone!. She has no control over these things and so is probably trying to exercise control over her son because she needs to have some in any form!. I hope he can be compassionate about that as trying as it must be!.
As for what to do to help!.!.!. well, there's you and his friends supporting him!. That counts for a lot!. Perhaps if his dad will need round the clock care, it will be the time and reason to place both in assisted housing!. That would relieve a lot of his burden!. It's not an easy choice, but it might be easier for his mom if she knows her husband needs it and she wants to be by his side!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I have bipolar and know what it is to feel yourself loose your mind!. It's terrifying!. I hope he understands that his mom has to be experiencing this!. She also must have more fears about her husband's health and the possiblily of being alone!. She has no control over these things and so is probably trying to exercise control over her son because she needs to have some in any form!. I hope he can be compassionate about that as trying as it must be!.
As for what to do to help!.!.!. well, there's you and his friends supporting him!. That counts for a lot!. Perhaps if his dad will need round the clock care, it will be the time and reason to place both in assisted housing!. That would relieve a lot of his burden!. It's not an easy choice, but it might be easier for his mom if she knows her husband needs it and she wants to be by his side!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Try an assitant living they could liv by themsleves and just have a nurse that comes in every day to take care of them! Hope this helps! God Bless,HeatherWww@Answer-Health@Com
Did I get this straight!? Your friend's grandfather is married to his grandmother & has a girlfriend also!?
No wonder his grandmother is upset when he leaves the house & doesn't know when he's coming home!. She may also be worried he will become ill again!.
Your friend needs to set boundaries & limits between himself & his grandparents!. Suggest he not react to the gm's "nervous breakdowns" which probably include anger at her husband!.
He needs to distance himself some from them & not run to them & their beck & call!.
I suggest he see a professional social worker to help him cope with reactions to his gps & have someone he can use to help him plan for his gps!.
It's a very difficult situation!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
No wonder his grandmother is upset when he leaves the house & doesn't know when he's coming home!. She may also be worried he will become ill again!.
Your friend needs to set boundaries & limits between himself & his grandparents!. Suggest he not react to the gm's "nervous breakdowns" which probably include anger at her husband!.
He needs to distance himself some from them & not run to them & their beck & call!.
I suggest he see a professional social worker to help him cope with reactions to his gps & have someone he can use to help him plan for his gps!.
It's a very difficult situation!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
caring for the elderly can take a toll and we need patience!. Your friend is doing the right thing that is what family is about!. He or she must constantly reassure the gm and call if they are busy allowing her to know they are not forgotten and his or her gf needs support from family that he will be home soon!. When people who have been together for most of their life are separated they become upset and sometimes regress the only thing is constant reassurance and patience!. We all must remember we will get old ourselves one day it's nice to know some of us have loving and respectful family to depend on in times of need!. Tell your friend to hang in there and it will work itself out!. Another thought is talk to them about a nursing home for both of them where they would be together and they would have staff to attend to their every need 24 hours and your friend could visit!.Www@Answer-Health@Com