How do I stop living in fear?!
Question: How do I stop living in fear!?
I have been diagnosed with HIV for over 20 years!. I learned of my illness at a time when there was only AZT for treatment which only had worked for approximately 2 years!. I was only 21 and attending college!. At that point the nightmare began as my life turned from planning my future to planning the best way to face the end of my life!. Since then, I can only look back and see years of emptiness, fear, escape and hopelessness!. Drugs became my means of escape as I had to somehow let go of goals and dreams!. I have developed Borderline personality disorder along with Complex PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) recently and on many medications to control both my mental and physical illnesses!. I am in therapy 3 times a week, on a LOA from work, doctor visits,still escaping and live from day to day without planning!. My fear of dying has become my fear of living!. How can I turn this around!? If I was to know 20 years ago that this what I worried about missing, I could have relaxed!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I know what it feels like to know your going to die,I have Malignant Ovarian Cancer,,it spread through my abdomen left tumors there and then it hit my right lung with 5 litres of malignant fluid,,but you know i didn't let it change me ,,and it won't!. I find the things that make me feel good inside and do them,,and I do the things that make me smile ,,if you have hobbies enjoy them ;try and remember what makes you smile,,and keep busy ,,and talking to others that you can relate to,, may help,,but not always,I have found the things that make me smile help and ,I take the classes ,,and I do them at home !.After a little over a year of extreme chemo and major surgery including 2 litres taped out of my back,and a tube to drain the 3 litres out from my side ,,my canser is dorment right now but i am not cured !.!.it is in a frozen state for how long well only God knows,,but i am living for today my friend as you should also ,,feel blessed that you are even alive today and among us all right now !.This is all you can do ,,but really this is everything to me ;) :) (HUGS)Www@Answer-Health@Com
I know that what you are dealing with is a huge burden to carry!. But you have to make the best with the time you have on Earth!. You can't live your life everyday thinking about when your going to leave you have to think the opposite!. You have to say that you are not going to let Aids rule you- you are going to rule it!. You must stay positive and you must pray!. I hope you read this and get something from it!. I will be praying for you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I think you should see a better psychiatrist because he needs to be helping you fix the way you are thinking not giving you more and more medication!. I think you should join a support group for HIV patients!. If some one understood your position more on a personal level I think they might be able to help you!. I would not stop planning your life, you never know what could happen!. Every one will die someday just make what life we all have special!. Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Obviously your therapy is not taking care of your problem!. I suggest you change therapists!. I went through about 8 or 10 therapists before I found one that could actually help me with my depression!. Keep trying, life is worth living if you live it fully!. Good luck to you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
seek God read your bible because God is my healer he jus recently healed my dad and my unlce and im awaiting healing from him of serius siknesses please listen to this song www!.myspace!.com/mikeguglielmucciWww@Answer-Health@Com
live your life !. you only have one and it is up to you to love every momentWww@Answer-Health@Com