How do you deal with an employee with emotional trauma? Read and respond please?!
Question: How do you deal with an employee with emotional trauma!? Read and respond please!?
I have an employee, a 22 year old girl, that is an excelent employee!. She does her job very well, she goes above and beyond and most of the time she does it quite happily!. However, whenever I tried to talk to her about something she did wrong she got very defensive and afterwards (as she was leaving) she would be disruptive, kick a chair out of her way or such other things!. Nothing big, but an obvious temper!.
I've talked to her a couple times and each time when i'm talking to her she has her eyes down, her fists clenched and is very tense, she doesn't act out until later!.
I recently found out through the grapevine that she has been badly abused for much of her life, up until about a year and a half ago, by a stepfather!. I think that this is related to how she acts, because she acts like she is afraid of me and nothing I say gets through to her!.
I don't want to let her go, she is an incredible employee 99% of the time and I kind of want to help her!. Any ideas!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
I've talked to her a couple times and each time when i'm talking to her she has her eyes down, her fists clenched and is very tense, she doesn't act out until later!.
I recently found out through the grapevine that she has been badly abused for much of her life, up until about a year and a half ago, by a stepfather!. I think that this is related to how she acts, because she acts like she is afraid of me and nothing I say gets through to her!.
I don't want to let her go, she is an incredible employee 99% of the time and I kind of want to help her!. Any ideas!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Pull her in your office or a private conference room if you aren't already and start by saying she is a valued employee!. Make sure she knows that!. Tell her everyone learning makes mistakes and it's your job to point them and/or help them learn!. It is your job!. It is not a reflection on what you think of her as a person!.
You can also mention that you've noticed the anger in the past and that it's understandable, but only from the perspective that she's taking constructive input as a personal insult, which it isn't!. You can also say that the errors are not a real problem but the temper could become one!. Ask if there is anything that you can do!. Be nice!. Let her know you are concerned and care, but keep the boss - employee relationship since those are your roles!.
If it feels right, give her EAP info if your company offers such a plan!. Personally, providing updated awareness to all in your shop is a better approach since it singles out no one!. You can't make her do what she doesn't want and handing it to her personally might be pushing too much!. Besides, if you've talk to her recently, she'll have a pretty good idea who the message is for!.
The thing you should be aware is that you symbolize the authority that abused her!. It's not personal!. It's learned and can be unlearned with care!. But, yes, definitely stay out of her personal life!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You can also mention that you've noticed the anger in the past and that it's understandable, but only from the perspective that she's taking constructive input as a personal insult, which it isn't!. You can also say that the errors are not a real problem but the temper could become one!. Ask if there is anything that you can do!. Be nice!. Let her know you are concerned and care, but keep the boss - employee relationship since those are your roles!.
If it feels right, give her EAP info if your company offers such a plan!. Personally, providing updated awareness to all in your shop is a better approach since it singles out no one!. You can't make her do what she doesn't want and handing it to her personally might be pushing too much!. Besides, if you've talk to her recently, she'll have a pretty good idea who the message is for!.
The thing you should be aware is that you symbolize the authority that abused her!. It's not personal!. It's learned and can be unlearned with care!. But, yes, definitely stay out of her personal life!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
She sounds like a bit of a task!.!.!.
Maybe next time she lashes out, in a calm manner let her know that she cant act like that in a job, and if she has a problem, there are people that can help her!. Let her know her work input is excellent, but still temper tantrums cannot be tolerated, especially if it is disrupting other staff members!. They also have the right to a safe environment!.
Hopefully she wont take that the wrong way and have another tantrum!.
Good Luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Maybe next time she lashes out, in a calm manner let her know that she cant act like that in a job, and if she has a problem, there are people that can help her!. Let her know her work input is excellent, but still temper tantrums cannot be tolerated, especially if it is disrupting other staff members!. They also have the right to a safe environment!.
Hopefully she wont take that the wrong way and have another tantrum!.
Good Luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
It is a crime if indeed she has gone through this abuse but she has chosen to be part of a society with certain rules, and throwing temper tantrums at work violates one of those rules!. It is nice that she is a good employee otherwise, but does this mean she has a permanent license for bad behavior/tantrums because of prior trauma--no, in my opinion it doesn't!. If she doesn't learn these lessons now, what will happen when she has kids of her own!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Careful! you can't legally help her unless she asks for it!.!.!.are you the company or is your company big enough to have a HR dept!?!.!.!.if so they will have info on EAP!.!.!.Employee Assistance Program!.!.!.still all you can do is make her aware of the programs availability!.!.!.if you are a small company I would seek the advice of a lawyer before going any further!.!.!.I know you want to help buy in today's litigious society you could be setting yourself up for a fall!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Yes tell her nice things,do not up set her,and make her a happy employee and she will never has any tantrums from her,actually she will become to like you and even trust you even more than beforeWww@Answer-Health@Com
"I don't want to let her go, she!.!.!.!.!.!.99% and I kind of want to help her!. Any ideas!?"
Why would you want to let her go if she is an incredible employee!? If your looking for the perfect person that doesn't have any baggage than good luck with that!.!.!.not in this world!.
You kind of want to help her!.!.!.!.!.!.like how!?
Then you said in your additional comment you don't want to be in her personal life well, you can't have it both ways my friend!.
Either you ask her to go to anger management classes and offer to pay for them or deal with her temper in a professional way!. Point out to her that kicking chairs or clenched fists are a sigh of aggressive behavior that you can not tolerate in the work place!. But, hey, wait a minute she does a good job but that 1% of the time she acts out when you tell her of her faults!. Its like she bends over backwards to do her job right but you can still find fault with her!. Maybe you're a perfectionist and she is not!. You need the help Tucker, not her!. Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Worry more about your business than hers!.
Have a nice day!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Why would you want to let her go if she is an incredible employee!? If your looking for the perfect person that doesn't have any baggage than good luck with that!.!.!.not in this world!.
You kind of want to help her!.!.!.!.!.!.like how!?
Then you said in your additional comment you don't want to be in her personal life well, you can't have it both ways my friend!.
Either you ask her to go to anger management classes and offer to pay for them or deal with her temper in a professional way!. Point out to her that kicking chairs or clenched fists are a sigh of aggressive behavior that you can not tolerate in the work place!. But, hey, wait a minute she does a good job but that 1% of the time she acts out when you tell her of her faults!. Its like she bends over backwards to do her job right but you can still find fault with her!. Maybe you're a perfectionist and she is not!. You need the help Tucker, not her!. Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see!.!.!.!.!.!.!.
Worry more about your business than hers!.
Have a nice day!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Praise her good work first!. Then bring the evidence of her mistake!. Bring another copy of the correct version!. Compare together with her!. Let her see her own mistake!. She needs to see her own mistake!. She needs to feel that there is a mistake!. Don't sound judgemental!. Don't sound like you are putting her down!. Yes, in another words, you need to use the psychological method!. Be gentle with her!. As for her extra mile, sometimes, you might have to stop her unless you want her to think that you are pleased with her extra work!. May be you can talk to a psychiatrist and see if there are any good tips!.
I agree with one of the comments here!. It is not nice to dig up somebody's past unless you really mean to help her and not to make a social talk out of it and spread it around to make her feel bad!. As a boss, you should give all your employees a fair fighting chance!. If you don't like her past, may be it is better to just stop her from working for you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I agree with one of the comments here!. It is not nice to dig up somebody's past unless you really mean to help her and not to make a social talk out of it and spread it around to make her feel bad!. As a boss, you should give all your employees a fair fighting chance!. If you don't like her past, may be it is better to just stop her from working for you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Frankly, I would be angry if I had a boss who was discussing my personal life behind my back like that!. I am sure you are well meaning but that sort of thing is really not your business and not for you to discuss with anyone!.
You cannot be her therapist!. The girl is 22 and an adult!. If she has issues she must seek help for them!. It sounds to me like you DO have an excellent employee and even though she is acting out, maybe you are also being a little hard on her by picking on minor issues!. If they are important issues all you can do is tell her that you think she is a top-notch employee but for the fact that you would like her to accept advice and direction more graciously!.
It is not wise to get too personally involved with employees!. If abrupt behavior causes problems with her work, she will learn the hard way to act in a more responsible and mature manner eventually!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You cannot be her therapist!. The girl is 22 and an adult!. If she has issues she must seek help for them!. It sounds to me like you DO have an excellent employee and even though she is acting out, maybe you are also being a little hard on her by picking on minor issues!. If they are important issues all you can do is tell her that you think she is a top-notch employee but for the fact that you would like her to accept advice and direction more graciously!.
It is not wise to get too personally involved with employees!. If abrupt behavior causes problems with her work, she will learn the hard way to act in a more responsible and mature manner eventually!.Www@Answer-Health@Com