My daughter just told me she was sexually abused? What do I do?!
Question: My daughter just told me she was sexually abused!? What do I do!?
My daughter is 16!. For the last while she has been acting strangely!. My husband and I suspected depression and an eating disorder!.
She came home a few hours ago,she was drunk and she started to cry!.We sat her down to see what was wrong with her!. Then a pack of pills fell out of her pocket!. I checked her pockets and found a various assortment of pills!.
She told us she was going to kill herself!. I got very upset and asked her why she would want to die!. Then she said "You dont know what he did to me"!. Before we could get anymore information out of her she passed out!.
My husband and I were in the kitchen discussing it when her older brother came in and told us the whole story!. She had confided in him a few weeks before that a family friend(who died recently) had abused her from when she was 6-12!. She also told him that she self harms!.
This only happened a few hours ago and she is still asleep!. How should I react and how can I help her!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
She came home a few hours ago,she was drunk and she started to cry!.We sat her down to see what was wrong with her!. Then a pack of pills fell out of her pocket!. I checked her pockets and found a various assortment of pills!.
She told us she was going to kill herself!. I got very upset and asked her why she would want to die!. Then she said "You dont know what he did to me"!. Before we could get anymore information out of her she passed out!.
My husband and I were in the kitchen discussing it when her older brother came in and told us the whole story!. She had confided in him a few weeks before that a family friend(who died recently) had abused her from when she was 6-12!. She also told him that she self harms!.
This only happened a few hours ago and she is still asleep!. How should I react and how can I help her!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Wow, you are lucky you found out when you did !
She might not remember what she told you when she wakes up!. Don't say anything about it!.!.until she does!. Don't act mad or angry!.!.no matter how difficult!.
If she doesn't remember!.!.!.!. find a nice quiet time!.!.!.let her recuperate from her bender!. Sit down with her and tell her what happened and what you know!.
She may deny everything!. Just hold her ( if she will let you ) reassure her, tell her how sorry you are ,that this happened to her!.
( Never, Never!.!.say anything like, How could you have let this happen!? or similar !.!.!.questions )
Tell her that you love her and are there for her and want to help her
She is going to need professional help with this , she is already acting out with cutting!.
You will all, be in my prayersWww@Answer-Health@Com
She might not remember what she told you when she wakes up!. Don't say anything about it!.!.until she does!. Don't act mad or angry!.!.no matter how difficult!.
If she doesn't remember!.!.!.!. find a nice quiet time!.!.!.let her recuperate from her bender!. Sit down with her and tell her what happened and what you know!.
She may deny everything!. Just hold her ( if she will let you ) reassure her, tell her how sorry you are ,that this happened to her!.
( Never, Never!.!.say anything like, How could you have let this happen!? or similar !.!.!.questions )
Tell her that you love her and are there for her and want to help her
She is going to need professional help with this , she is already acting out with cutting!.
You will all, be in my prayersWww@Answer-Health@Com
It is quite strange that your daughter was abused when she was 6-12 years old, but decided self harm 4 years later!. I believe there is another cause, not sexual abuse!. Besides other doctors you was advised by other people take your daughter to gynecologist to check if your daughter is virgin or not and if not when she lost her virginity!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Take her to counseling!. Be extra supportive and don't leave her alone!. All the family will need to be prepared, so I suggest all of you go to counseling together!. I am so sorry for what happened to your daughter!. I have a 17yr old, and I would die if anything like that would ever happen!. Good Luck and may God Bless you and your family!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Pray earnestly and talk to a pastor!. Read the Bible like Ps!. 34, 37, 91, 130, 30, James 1-5 (all), John!. Be very loving and helpful!. So, she waited to tell you until the man died!? I think you both need counseling, both separate and together!. I will pray that you find the right counselor, hopefully a spirit-filled pastor who has been very helpful to people, a very positive, caring and confident person!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I would find a christian counselor that specializes in that field!. She's going to need someone who knows what they are doing!. I heard that most of the time they blame them selves!. They feel dirty like they done some thing wrong!. I think that the best thing you could do is assure her that she did nothing wrong she was a child and he was a pervert that took advantage of her!.I hope you can get everything worked out!. God BlessWww@Answer-Health@Com
you! or - you and your husband
get an appointment with a good counselor at once!.
in the meantime, when she wakes, tell her you are sorry, ask her to talk with you, listen without probing, tell her you want to help but arent sure how, would she like to see someone!? you are going to see someone to get thelp to help her!.
if she is still suicidal, you have to take her to the emergency room, tho that is awful, its better than deathWww@Answer-Health@Com
get an appointment with a good counselor at once!.
in the meantime, when she wakes, tell her you are sorry, ask her to talk with you, listen without probing, tell her you want to help but arent sure how, would she like to see someone!? you are going to see someone to get thelp to help her!.
if she is still suicidal, you have to take her to the emergency room, tho that is awful, its better than deathWww@Answer-Health@Com
you should contact some sort of social worker who can help you handle the situation!. i'm sure money is no compensation for having your daughter violated like that, but a social worker is good at providing such options!.
calling your local hospital may help, they may be able to connect you to a social worker of some sort!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
calling your local hospital may help, they may be able to connect you to a social worker of some sort!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
i was sexually abused by my grandfather & when i told my mom i think it was a shock to her too like she didnt know how to react & to this day i secretly hold a grudge against her b/c she felt akward & tried to act like it was nothing & said are u sure maybe ur wrong!.!.!.!.
i would suggest being very comfortingWww@Answer-Health@Com
i would suggest being very comfortingWww@Answer-Health@Com
well for starters not asking unqualified people on yahoo answers
call the nhs helpline or childline or something and ask them!.
also the police!.!.!.
and check that your daughter is not dying if she was drunk and had pill sin her pocket!.!.!. she might have already swallowed someWww@Answer-Health@Com
call the nhs helpline or childline or something and ask them!.
also the police!.!.!.
and check that your daughter is not dying if she was drunk and had pill sin her pocket!.!.!. she might have already swallowed someWww@Answer-Health@Com
You don't know how much medication she took, so get her to the emergency room NOW! Tell them what happened to her and get her into some serious treatment right away or you will be going through this over and over again!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You should calm her down and let her know that you guys will always be there for her!
I would get her a doctor and also a therapist to help the situation!
So it will not continued on!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I would get her a doctor and also a therapist to help the situation!
So it will not continued on!Www@Answer-Health@Com
If (s)he's the only one who abused your daughter than the person is out of hte picture!. I'd take your daughter to councling for the self harming as well as to help her get through it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
GET HER TO THE HOSPITAL ASAP!. If she had pills in her pocket and passed out, who knows what she already ingested!? What if she was drinking and taking pills together, and she's going into a coma!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Consult a qualified therapist!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Be very sympathetic and get her counseling ASAPWww@Answer-Health@Com
be there for her!. dont judge!. listen to everything she has to say!.!. !. !. ask her if she needs anything tell her that she will be okWww@Answer-Health@Com
GET YOUR DAUGHTER TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!
i was like once i had to go to counseling
ask us later go NOW TO THE HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
i was like once i had to go to counseling
ask us later go NOW TO THE HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
maybe sign her up for some professional help!. like rehab or something!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP!.!.!.!.!.!.BUT LET HER KNOW YOU ARE THERE TO HELP HERAND SHE IS LOVED!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.TO BAD THE CREEP IS DEADWww@Answer-Health@Com
get her to a counselor/therapist ASAP! she needs some help, and the best thing you could do for her is get her help!Www@Answer-Health@Com
desecrate this old friend's graveWww@Answer-Health@Com
I've been in your daughters shoes!. A friend of the families sexually assaulted me when I was 7 for a few months and it was horrible!. Luckily for me, I spoke up when it got too far for me to even try to make it ok!. My parents were supportive, but became super protective to the point where they wouldn't let me go out, even as a responsible teenager, because they were afraid of what would happen to me!. They also never got me counseling, they thought because I was so young that I wouldn't remember or that it wouldn't effect me as much!. Well, it does!. I can't be in closed quarters, alone, with a male without becoming anxious and scared!.!.!. Regardless of who the male is, including my father and brother, even though I know they'd never do anything to hurt me!. You just need to be there for her and apologize that you didn't know sooner!. She's going to be volatile and she's going to be scared and even might blame you!. But it's just that little girl who has been locked away in fear talking!. She'll get through this, she'll never be the same, but she'll make it through, you just have to listen to her and let her cry and be upset!. I'm so sorry for your daughter, she's not alone and she's a survivor for not killing her self because of the pain!. Your daughter is reaching out for help and the best way you can be there for her is to let her know that you will do anything and everything to make this right!.!.!.!.
Good luck and take care, my prayers are with you and your familyWww@Answer-Health@Com
Good luck and take care, my prayers are with you and your familyWww@Answer-Health@Com
u need to take her to hospital first of all, i understand ur concern as a mother, get her professional help, maybe wen shes ready she can talk to other girls that have gone through similar experience as her self!.
wotever u do, DONT blame urself honey, dont for one second think that ur a failure and y couldnt u see that was happening to ur daughter, theres only one person to blame and thats the person that did this to her, unfortunatley he's not here to be punished but im sure he's rotting in hell anyway!.
honey i know u must be in tears, but be strong, u have to be strong for ur daughter, she really needs her mom, even though she might shut u out, she still needs u, be there for her, the best way for her to ever move forward is by talking about wot happened!.
help her all the way!.
takecare hun x my heart really goes out to u, ur a good mother just contiue being one X!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
wotever u do, DONT blame urself honey, dont for one second think that ur a failure and y couldnt u see that was happening to ur daughter, theres only one person to blame and thats the person that did this to her, unfortunatley he's not here to be punished but im sure he's rotting in hell anyway!.
honey i know u must be in tears, but be strong, u have to be strong for ur daughter, she really needs her mom, even though she might shut u out, she still needs u, be there for her, the best way for her to ever move forward is by talking about wot happened!.
help her all the way!.
takecare hun x my heart really goes out to u, ur a good mother just contiue being one X!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
omg im so sorry
but what you need to do is take her to a doctor
to make she she did not have an overdose
then you need to talk to her when she is oaky
then you need to chew out her older brother for not telling you alot earlier
and you need to be there for her and most importantly tell her you love her
and keep a very a very good watch on her
and maybbe even see a psychologist
i dont know how to spell that
sorry
but im even more sorry about your daughter
hope she starts to feel betterWww@Answer-Health@Com
but what you need to do is take her to a doctor
to make she she did not have an overdose
then you need to talk to her when she is oaky
then you need to chew out her older brother for not telling you alot earlier
and you need to be there for her and most importantly tell her you love her
and keep a very a very good watch on her
and maybbe even see a psychologist
i dont know how to spell that
sorry
but im even more sorry about your daughter
hope she starts to feel betterWww@Answer-Health@Com
First off, you're not supposed to come to the internet for problems like this, you are her mother, you're supposed to already know your daughters needs!. Second, this is what happens when people give their children too much freedom, they tend to give their child whatever, whenever, just so that they can be happy!. Which is wrong, like every parent, you want to make your child happy, but that doesn't mean allowing him/her to do whatever it is that they please!. But it's not entirely your fault, a father plays a huge role in the behavior of the child it self!. But Im not here do judge you as a parent, so what I suggest is that you go to her, and comfort her the best possible way you can, tell her that you and your husband love her no matter what she's done, or what has happened to her!. Tell her that you accept her and that you are proud to be her mother!. Make her feel wanted, give her attention, ask her how she is doing any chance you get, spend more time with her, and also tell her that what she is doing to herself is wrong and that you do not approve!. But do not punish her for it, she's been through enough hell already, just make sure that you are there for her when she needs you!. Also get some Medical help for her, obviously she has a condition that needs to be taken care of!. Other then that, I wish you the best of luck with your daughter, and hopefully this will help you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
First of all you need to believe her 100% !. Secondly, don't act like it will all blow over and go away!. You need to go to the police, because even though the guy is dead, there might be other victims out there who are going to need help, and your coming forward might help them!. Your daughter is going to need counseling for a very long time, and probably medication for depression!. You need to be super supportive even if it's hard!. If you think it's hard for you, just think about how she feels!Www@Answer-Health@Com
If she took any type of pills and alcohol than you need to take her to the emergency room!. Don't take no chances with that especially if you found pills on her and she passed out from drinking!. Mixing drugs and alcohol is of course not a good thing!.
If everything is ok on that end and I surely hope so than take her for counseling!. Be a shoulder to cry on and listen to whatever she needs or feels like telling you!. If you have a personal walk with God maybe you can have your pastor or what possibly the pastor's wife talking with her and praying for you and your family!. I'm sorry for what happend!. I know of someone close to me who was abused by her father and other than myself the only other person she confided in was her brother about what happend!.
You will be in my prayers!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
If everything is ok on that end and I surely hope so than take her for counseling!. Be a shoulder to cry on and listen to whatever she needs or feels like telling you!. If you have a personal walk with God maybe you can have your pastor or what possibly the pastor's wife talking with her and praying for you and your family!. I'm sorry for what happend!. I know of someone close to me who was abused by her father and other than myself the only other person she confided in was her brother about what happend!.
You will be in my prayers!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Support her please!. And BELIEVE her!. Like "Canadian" I was abused continuously from a VERY YOUNG AGE!. When I told my parents, they ignored me and called me a liar!. Social workers questioned my behaviour to provoke such treatment and also called my word into question!. Repeatedly returned me to my parents!.
I started self-harming, lying (why tell the truth!? no one believed me) and isolating myself!. There will be long-term
consequences of your daughter's ordeal!.
Please do everything you can to get the help she needs and
support her through it all!. Please, most of all, BELIEVE her and do NOT BLAME her for the violations that creep put her through!.
I hope that she gets well in her own time!. It will be a SLOW process!. Do not try to force a quick SOLUTION to this
dilemma!. There is no quick fix here!. However, there is HOPE!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I started self-harming, lying (why tell the truth!? no one believed me) and isolating myself!. There will be long-term
consequences of your daughter's ordeal!.
Please do everything you can to get the help she needs and
support her through it all!. Please, most of all, BELIEVE her and do NOT BLAME her for the violations that creep put her through!.
I hope that she gets well in her own time!. It will be a SLOW process!. Do not try to force a quick SOLUTION to this
dilemma!. There is no quick fix here!. However, there is HOPE!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
absoulutely needs to see a councellor of some sort! i was abused as a child and the response I got when I finally told my mom was that i was a liar!. She needs to see someone and talk to them!. Be compassionate and supportive!. She will probably never fully "get over" the abuse but there are stragies for coping!. Let her know that you are all their for her and that you will help her through it however you can!. If she doesn't want councelling ease her into it!. Councellors are neutral and more understanding than someone who has an emotional conection with the situtation!. I finally got councelling at 21 and i am feeling much better now!. Make sure she knows it WAS NOT her fault, the biggest problem with people who have been abused is they think there is something they could have done to make it happen!. (trust me I know)!. Let her know she can trust you and don't over react she needs to deal with this as slowly or as quickly as she feels comfortable with! Good LuckWww@Answer-Health@Com
ive been that girl before and my mom handled it all wrong!. dont judge her and just listen she just needs you to hear her and not try to figure it all out if the guy has passed on there isnt much legally that can be done but it is prolly guna be sumthing she has to carry with her the rest of her life!. however i never tried to kill myself so shes deffinetly guna need some counseling and for u to just be there for her let me know if u need any more help and gud luckWww@Answer-Health@Com