How do I become less passive aggressive?!
Question: How do I become less passive aggressive!?
I dont know how this has happened!. So Im trying to figure out what to do about it!. I always blame my husband for everything thats going wrong in our lives- I mean financially!. But in my heart of hearts, I feel I should take 50% of the blame too!. For as long as I can remember I have been pretty passive aggressive, shouting at my parents, when I was bored - instead of coming up with something for myself!. I want to be the controller of my fate so I dont let something like a financial decision destroy a good relationship!. I want to be the decision maker- I dont want to tread on my husbands ego of course, because I know there are some decisions that he wants to feel he had the final say!. But I want to have had more say and feel more empowered!. I have to add that I was pretty undecided about the financial decisions myself so thats part of the reason why I let him take the final stand on that one!. But now I feel my instincts were right and though I havent so far, I feel the urge to blame himWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
I think you should read a book or two on passive-aggressive behavior!. What you describe isn't necessarily it!. For example, shouting is overtly aggressive!. There's nothing passive about it!. A book on codependence would probably be smart, too!. Not sure if you need that, but being familiar with signs is good for anyone!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
The best way I can think is to note every time a passive-aggressive thought comes involuntarily into your head and try to rationally talk yourself out of, like "I shouldn't think this way about my husband!.!.!. I know I am responsible for our difficulties as well!." You may not believe yourself at first, but maybe if you stop and think every time you have such a thought you can prevent them from coming as reflexively and as often as they do!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It's all about control!. But since control is a total illusion, you're thus worked up over what doesn't exist!.Www@Answer-Health@Com