Personality disorder and alcoholism?!
Question: Personality disorder and alcoholism!?
my neice suffers with this illness and has started drinking heavely and no one will help her i want to try and get her into sheltered accomodation because she told me someone got into her flat and raped her and it was too late to take her to hospital to get any dna as she had a bath and her clothes had been washed by the time she told me as it was 3 weeks later,but i wouln't even know if she was telling me the truth she is very unpredictable and makes a show of herself in the street and her flat is a disgrace,i have young children to think about so she can't live with me,but i want to help her,she has been sectioned loads of times and they always let her go back home after a week and say she has a personality disorder,what can i do for her,she has got no one else to help her!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
This is a sad issue!. Mental illness can be treated with medicine, most who are diagnosed take their medicine because "they want" to get well!. Unfortunately, there is the others who think "their bad behavior" can be excused as a "personality disorder" and THEY DON'T WANT HELP BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR, this person is difficult to help!.
You sound like a very nice compassionate person and I respect your concerns!. From what I read in your post you are cautious but want to help!. I honestly don't think that you can help her until she shows some effort to care for herself!. Even if medication could help her she may not take the medicine so who's responsible for administration of the medication!? Institutions are limited and until she harms herself or seriously harms someone else chances are she can't be admitted!.
I had a close relative that I tried to help for years and years, she died two years ago!. It was emotionally and physically exhausting!. "I did the best I could" but it wasn't ever enough, it didn't stop me from loving her or caring for her but when she passed it was peaceful for her and me!.
You can love her, care for her and be compassionate but sadly until she shows some sign of caring for herself there is not much that can really HELP her!.
Good Luck To YouWww@Answer-Health@Com
You sound like a very nice compassionate person and I respect your concerns!. From what I read in your post you are cautious but want to help!. I honestly don't think that you can help her until she shows some effort to care for herself!. Even if medication could help her she may not take the medicine so who's responsible for administration of the medication!? Institutions are limited and until she harms herself or seriously harms someone else chances are she can't be admitted!.
I had a close relative that I tried to help for years and years, she died two years ago!. It was emotionally and physically exhausting!. "I did the best I could" but it wasn't ever enough, it didn't stop me from loving her or caring for her but when she passed it was peaceful for her and me!.
You can love her, care for her and be compassionate but sadly until she shows some sign of caring for herself there is not much that can really HELP her!.
Good Luck To YouWww@Answer-Health@Com
The only thing you can do is take care of yourself so if she does want help you're able to care for her!.
You could try to get her into rehab!.!.!. but don't be too distraught if she either freaks out and says no or goes and leaves a few days later!.
Everyone else gave some pretty good advice!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You could try to get her into rehab!.!.!. but don't be too distraught if she either freaks out and says no or goes and leaves a few days later!.
Everyone else gave some pretty good advice!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Get her into a treatment center!. With what you told me!. You can't do anything about it!. You have to take care of yourself and your kids first!. A treatment center isn't bad!. I want to one for alcohol problems and I was raped too!. I got a lot of help and now I'm happy and have joy in my life!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
how old is ur neice!?
there is nothing u can do, she has 2 stop her self!.
my mum drank everyday and i begged and begged her 2 stop drinking then wen she did i fot her flowers and was happy but every time she went out on her own we fort she was buying drink again, then she started drinking again!.
there was nothing we cud do !.
i dnt drink now because wot i saw my mum like!.
but just b there 4 ur neice and say 2 her that her liver is getting bad everytime she drinks!.
and i do hope she listens 2 u !.Www@Answer-Health@Com
there is nothing u can do, she has 2 stop her self!.
my mum drank everyday and i begged and begged her 2 stop drinking then wen she did i fot her flowers and was happy but every time she went out on her own we fort she was buying drink again, then she started drinking again!.
there was nothing we cud do !.
i dnt drink now because wot i saw my mum like!.
but just b there 4 ur neice and say 2 her that her liver is getting bad everytime she drinks!.
and i do hope she listens 2 u !.Www@Answer-Health@Com
you need to stay strong, you need to tell her the truth, ''get your life sorted out'' she needs this, sometimes you have to play the bad guy to be the good guy!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
try to get her into rehab, it might not work but its worth a try and at least she'd be safe for a few weeksWww@Answer-Health@Com
Chances are, this alleged "rape" she is referring to is not rape as much as regret!. Most likely, she got wasted, invited a guy back to her apartment, he had sex with her (probably without a condom - and she was too wasted to insist)!.!.!. then the next morning, she regrets her actions, realizes he didn't use protection and feels violated!.
In the state of California, it is illegal to have sex with someone who is clearly intoxicated!.
My suggestion for you would be for YOU to join al-anon!. It is a program of support for the friends and family of alcoholics!. The bottom line is this, you can't do anything for her!. You need to worry about YOUR children!. If she comes to you and ASKS for your help, then there are ways to determine whether you are actually helping her or whether you are enabling her to continue her bad behavior!.
Oh, and personality disorder is a load of crap!. It just means that she doesn't give a crap about anybody but herself!. She also won't feel guilty when she screws you over!. Again and again!.
There isn't much you can do!. If she needs your help, then you can go through the newspaper with her and help her circle jobs to interview for!. You can show her better grocery shopping practices!.!.!.!. NEVER give her money!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
In the state of California, it is illegal to have sex with someone who is clearly intoxicated!.
My suggestion for you would be for YOU to join al-anon!. It is a program of support for the friends and family of alcoholics!. The bottom line is this, you can't do anything for her!. You need to worry about YOUR children!. If she comes to you and ASKS for your help, then there are ways to determine whether you are actually helping her or whether you are enabling her to continue her bad behavior!.
Oh, and personality disorder is a load of crap!. It just means that she doesn't give a crap about anybody but herself!. She also won't feel guilty when she screws you over!. Again and again!.
There isn't much you can do!. If she needs your help, then you can go through the newspaper with her and help her circle jobs to interview for!. You can show her better grocery shopping practices!.!.!.!. NEVER give her money!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Hi,
You sound like a really caring person! I have borderline persobality disorder and have been in hospital at the start of this year, however I don't drink or anything but i seen so many people with self damaging behaviours and just sent home over and over again because the staff felt they couldn't stop them and I think it is just so sad!
It is possibile that she was raped and this has lead to the drinking!. i think you are on a good track by thinking about supported accomodation, you could look that up in your area or hers and see if there is any places, perhaps you could ring your niece and talk to her about it!. She must have a key worker or counsellor or someone who is in charge of her care, does she not!? I would try and find out if she does and then contact them about possibilities!. I know you probably don't want to get involved too much but i guess if you want to help you have to, to a certain extent!.
Maybe you need to ask her what she wants first because if she doesn't want help then no matter where you put her the likihood is she will not try to get better and will just rebel against it!.
best of luck
xxWww@Answer-Health@Com
You sound like a really caring person! I have borderline persobality disorder and have been in hospital at the start of this year, however I don't drink or anything but i seen so many people with self damaging behaviours and just sent home over and over again because the staff felt they couldn't stop them and I think it is just so sad!
It is possibile that she was raped and this has lead to the drinking!. i think you are on a good track by thinking about supported accomodation, you could look that up in your area or hers and see if there is any places, perhaps you could ring your niece and talk to her about it!. She must have a key worker or counsellor or someone who is in charge of her care, does she not!? I would try and find out if she does and then contact them about possibilities!. I know you probably don't want to get involved too much but i guess if you want to help you have to, to a certain extent!.
Maybe you need to ask her what she wants first because if she doesn't want help then no matter where you put her the likihood is she will not try to get better and will just rebel against it!.
best of luck
xxWww@Answer-Health@Com
Some disorders, like Borderline Personality Disorder, often have reclkess behavior and substance abuse as key factors!. A person with BPD can be tough to cope with, and needs help!. I suggest having her sectioned again, and trying to find a Dialectical Behavior Therapist!. DBT is by far the best treatment for BPD!. Sadly, since BPD is a difficult disorder, a lot of doctors and therapists will not help her!. But, People with BPD have a high suicide rate and often cut themselves or engage in promiscuous sex or abuse drugs and alcohol or place themselves in situations where they are vulnerable!.
It is important to remind her that you will never abandon her, and that you need her to get help so that you can both enjoy your time together
http://apt!.rcpsych!.org/cgi/content/full/!.!.!.
I ahve included a useful web site!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It is important to remind her that you will never abandon her, and that you need her to get help so that you can both enjoy your time together
http://apt!.rcpsych!.org/cgi/content/full/!.!.!.
I ahve included a useful web site!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
What exact personality disorder did they say!? Alcoholism is not a personality disorder in itself!. And yes, it's true that if a person is raped, as much as possible, you have to preserve the evidence!. One of the best way that you can help is to stay with her!. Don't ask 'why' questions cause it may seem to the person that you're blaming her!. Be at her side!. Let her cry/ express feelings!. There are also support groups for rape victims and alcoholics as well!.!.
Edit: Eventhough the person is unpredictable, or looks indecent doesn't mean she is not raped!. Also, try to give control back to the person as much as possible!. Let her decide whom to call, what to do next etc!.!. HIV testing also for high-risk areas and assessment for STDs!.
For her alcoholism, if she experiences mild symptoms of withdrawal (she can abstain from alcohol)she can be treaed at home!. However, if she experiences severe wihdrawal symptoms, it may require 3-5 days admission!.
Dissociative identity disorder (formerly, Multiple personality disorder)!.!. person displays 2 or more distinct identities that recurrently take control of his/her behavior!. This is accompanied by inability to recall important personal information!. Dissociative disorders are much more prevalent among those with histories of childhood physical and sexual abuse!. Group or individual therapy in the community is used to address the long-term effects of their experiences!.!. Also cognitive behavioral therapy and medications!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Edit: Eventhough the person is unpredictable, or looks indecent doesn't mean she is not raped!. Also, try to give control back to the person as much as possible!. Let her decide whom to call, what to do next etc!.!. HIV testing also for high-risk areas and assessment for STDs!.
For her alcoholism, if she experiences mild symptoms of withdrawal (she can abstain from alcohol)she can be treaed at home!. However, if she experiences severe wihdrawal symptoms, it may require 3-5 days admission!.
Dissociative identity disorder (formerly, Multiple personality disorder)!.!. person displays 2 or more distinct identities that recurrently take control of his/her behavior!. This is accompanied by inability to recall important personal information!. Dissociative disorders are much more prevalent among those with histories of childhood physical and sexual abuse!. Group or individual therapy in the community is used to address the long-term effects of their experiences!.!. Also cognitive behavioral therapy and medications!.Www@Answer-Health@Com