Why Is My Girlfriend Cutting Herself?!
Question: Why Is My Girlfriend Cutting Herself!?
Okay!.!.Well!.!.My Girlfriend started cutting herself a few months ago and she wont tell me why, she claims she's depressed but she wont tell me why!. She says it takes her mind off things and it also gives adrenaline which i can understand but i dont know why she is cutting herself so i cant stop her!. Can anyone tell me why she is doing this!? Or how to stop it!?
Also I found her blades but she stopped me from throwing them away, is she going to cut again!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Also I found her blades but she stopped me from throwing them away, is she going to cut again!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Hey Jeff!. I wish I could find someone as understanding as you! Finding out someone you love is self harming can be the hardest thing in the world to comprehend as it is so difficult to understand why anyone would want to cause themselves so much pain!. Well done for standing by her, it says so much about your strength of character!.
I self harm for the same reasons your girlfriend has told you!. It's almost as if I'd rather feel that physical, external pain than the internal pain that I don't really understand yet!. No matter what you do, you will never be able to stop your gf from self harming!. She will only stop when the time is right for her and she has found other, safer ways of coping!.
Whatever you do don't get mad at her, she can't help it!. Self harm can become an addiction and so long as she isn't cutting too deeply and she is dressing her wounds properly, then she is as safe as you can be in that state!. Just because she is hurting herself, it doesn't mean she is suicidal!. Often self harm is about feeling alive, not dead!.
Just love her unconditionally!.
Call her every morning and night to ask about her plans or how she's been feeling that day!.
Tell her you are only a call away if she needs you!.
Hold her when she looks down!.
Sit in silence with her when she doesn't feel like talking!.
Make her laugh and remind her of how beautiful she looks when she smiles!.
Make sure she knows that whatever has happened or no matter how bad she feels you are there for her!.
Encourage her to go to a GP but don't push it too much!.
Tell her it's okay to cry if she wants to!.
Take care of YOURSELF too!.
I know myself how unbelievably lonely depression can be even when you are surrounded by people who love you!. It takes time to let people in but eventually, if you hang in there, she'll slowly open up to you!. Once you've established the causes of the problem, you'll be able to get her the help she needs but don't try to do it all on your own!. You need support too!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I self harm for the same reasons your girlfriend has told you!. It's almost as if I'd rather feel that physical, external pain than the internal pain that I don't really understand yet!. No matter what you do, you will never be able to stop your gf from self harming!. She will only stop when the time is right for her and she has found other, safer ways of coping!.
Whatever you do don't get mad at her, she can't help it!. Self harm can become an addiction and so long as she isn't cutting too deeply and she is dressing her wounds properly, then she is as safe as you can be in that state!. Just because she is hurting herself, it doesn't mean she is suicidal!. Often self harm is about feeling alive, not dead!.
Just love her unconditionally!.
Call her every morning and night to ask about her plans or how she's been feeling that day!.
Tell her you are only a call away if she needs you!.
Hold her when she looks down!.
Sit in silence with her when she doesn't feel like talking!.
Make her laugh and remind her of how beautiful she looks when she smiles!.
Make sure she knows that whatever has happened or no matter how bad she feels you are there for her!.
Encourage her to go to a GP but don't push it too much!.
Tell her it's okay to cry if she wants to!.
Take care of YOURSELF too!.
I know myself how unbelievably lonely depression can be even when you are surrounded by people who love you!. It takes time to let people in but eventually, if you hang in there, she'll slowly open up to you!. Once you've established the causes of the problem, you'll be able to get her the help she needs but don't try to do it all on your own!. You need support too!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Chances are, yes, she is going to cut again!. It's hard to say in this situation, because a lot of the behavioral clues are subtle!. For instance, whether she announced to you she was cutting first, or if you caught her first!.
I suspect she was honest about her basic reason!.!.!.it makes her feel good when she feels bad!. The fact that she stated how it made her feel good suggests to me that she has researched cutting, and is comfortable with it!. Cutting is also a form of self-punishment, something someone does when they feel depressed or guilty!.
You should get those blades away from her, even at the risk of a fight or confrontation!. In the end, I think you would rather have her mad at you, than dead or sick from an infected wound!. It would help for you to become familiar with potentially improvised cutting objects (coke cans, glass, hard plastic) and watch for her attempting to fashion makeshift blades!. She also needs counseling and possibly medication, because this is a serious situation, and possibly life threatening!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I suspect she was honest about her basic reason!.!.!.it makes her feel good when she feels bad!. The fact that she stated how it made her feel good suggests to me that she has researched cutting, and is comfortable with it!. Cutting is also a form of self-punishment, something someone does when they feel depressed or guilty!.
You should get those blades away from her, even at the risk of a fight or confrontation!. In the end, I think you would rather have her mad at you, than dead or sick from an infected wound!. It would help for you to become familiar with potentially improvised cutting objects (coke cans, glass, hard plastic) and watch for her attempting to fashion makeshift blades!. She also needs counseling and possibly medication, because this is a serious situation, and possibly life threatening!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I was a former cutter, i wasn't 'emo'!. Everyone thought i was happy me!.!.it was a dark secret, i told no one, i didnt it in places people couldnt see & it wasnt for attention!.
Something was on my mind which i couldnt deal with very well!. You need to reassure your gf that youre always there for her to help her through whatever and tell her she can trust you, and you are always there to listen!.
Taking away her blades wont make her stop, itll only seem to her like u dont understand and she'll carry on!.
Tell her shes beautiful and this is ruining her beautiful skin, tell her you want to help her, but you understand if shes not ready to deal with it yet!.
Hopefully in her own time she'll open up to you and you can deal with it together!.
Cutting doesnt mean shes suicidal, if shes depressed ask her if she want to talk to someone!. If not then just tell her you are always there for her!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Something was on my mind which i couldnt deal with very well!. You need to reassure your gf that youre always there for her to help her through whatever and tell her she can trust you, and you are always there to listen!.
Taking away her blades wont make her stop, itll only seem to her like u dont understand and she'll carry on!.
Tell her shes beautiful and this is ruining her beautiful skin, tell her you want to help her, but you understand if shes not ready to deal with it yet!.
Hopefully in her own time she'll open up to you and you can deal with it together!.
Cutting doesnt mean shes suicidal, if shes depressed ask her if she want to talk to someone!. If not then just tell her you are always there for her!.
Good luck!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Cutting isn't usually a problem as most people cut across the arms rather than along!. It's just ugly & messy!. In fact cutting is a way of giving temporary relief to a problem that hurts her more than the cutting does!. So don't treat the cutting like a problem but think of it as a temporary relief from another worse problem!.
Although it hurts like hell to deliberately cut yourself, it distracts you from the real problem so it's a relief, then afterwards the brain releases endorphin (a morphine-like substance) that dulls the pain & makes you feel good for a short while!. Most people who cut want that sort of relief & it's far better than most drugs!.
If things hurt her that badly, it's probable that she'll find it too painful to talk about with anybody close to her!. She will cut again!. Give her time - lots of it & make sure she doesn't feel condemned for what she does!. Just love her anyway & reassure her!. When she feels ready (& not before), get her to talk to a Counsellor or a psychotherapist!. It may cost a bit of money but the results should be worth it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Although it hurts like hell to deliberately cut yourself, it distracts you from the real problem so it's a relief, then afterwards the brain releases endorphin (a morphine-like substance) that dulls the pain & makes you feel good for a short while!. Most people who cut want that sort of relief & it's far better than most drugs!.
If things hurt her that badly, it's probable that she'll find it too painful to talk about with anybody close to her!. She will cut again!. Give her time - lots of it & make sure she doesn't feel condemned for what she does!. Just love her anyway & reassure her!. When she feels ready (& not before), get her to talk to a Counsellor or a psychotherapist!. It may cost a bit of money but the results should be worth it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
listen very carefully, she NEEDS to get to the doc or hospital psychicatric team NOW!.
if you throw the blades she will only get more!
for someone who doesnt cut (like yourself) this is distressing, she probably CANT tell you why because she doesnt KNOW why!.
she need medical attention ASAP!. this could only escalate!.
look up the local crisis team number - or ring hospital and get it they can advise you further!.
if the wounds need attention take her to the hopsital they will NOT necessary keep her in but they will do a psych evaluation! (they always let me out)!. to see if she is a real danger to herself!.
no one can tell you y she is doing it but something has been triggered off in her head and its a chain reaction!.
(had she had a drink by any chance!?) i always found this tended to make me cut!.
PLEASE just dont smother her to much, she will talk when she is ready just love her and re assure her and lots of tlc
if you need more advise contact me, i can give the the otherside of the story!.
try www!.mind!.co!.uk
www!.realmentalhealth!.com
www!.recoveryourlife!.com
maybe the sites can give you more answers
good luck xWww@Answer-Health@Com
if you throw the blades she will only get more!
for someone who doesnt cut (like yourself) this is distressing, she probably CANT tell you why because she doesnt KNOW why!.
she need medical attention ASAP!. this could only escalate!.
look up the local crisis team number - or ring hospital and get it they can advise you further!.
if the wounds need attention take her to the hopsital they will NOT necessary keep her in but they will do a psych evaluation! (they always let me out)!. to see if she is a real danger to herself!.
no one can tell you y she is doing it but something has been triggered off in her head and its a chain reaction!.
(had she had a drink by any chance!?) i always found this tended to make me cut!.
PLEASE just dont smother her to much, she will talk when she is ready just love her and re assure her and lots of tlc
if you need more advise contact me, i can give the the otherside of the story!.
try www!.mind!.co!.uk
www!.realmentalhealth!.com
www!.recoveryourlife!.com
maybe the sites can give you more answers
good luck xWww@Answer-Health@Com
UNLESS she is an attention whore!.!.!.this is real and it helps her make it though the day!.!.!.
-Why!? it's different for most!.!.!.but I can tell you 50% of cutters have had some form past sexual abuse take place that they never came to terms with!.!.!.all cutters or any SI(self injure) people do what they do to cope becuase they never found a proper way to cope!.
-How to stop!? You can't make her stop!.!.!.she will only truly stop when she is ready!.!.!.Do NOT try to force her to stop!.!.!.it leaves her in a corner and will only overwhelm her and make her want to cut more!.!.!.same with any negative things really especially negative comments about the cutting!. You CAN try to help her find other things that work to make her feel better!.!.!.possibly even other ways that cause the same pain but leave no evidence!.!.!.
-She will cut as long as she still feels it helps!.!.!.if you have any further questions please feel free to contact me, or possibly even better have her contact me!.!.!.it's always a relief when you learn you are not alone in something that is so secretive, guiltful, shameful, unspoken, and such!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
-Why!? it's different for most!.!.!.but I can tell you 50% of cutters have had some form past sexual abuse take place that they never came to terms with!.!.!.all cutters or any SI(self injure) people do what they do to cope becuase they never found a proper way to cope!.
-How to stop!? You can't make her stop!.!.!.she will only truly stop when she is ready!.!.!.Do NOT try to force her to stop!.!.!.it leaves her in a corner and will only overwhelm her and make her want to cut more!.!.!.same with any negative things really especially negative comments about the cutting!. You CAN try to help her find other things that work to make her feel better!.!.!.possibly even other ways that cause the same pain but leave no evidence!.!.!.
-She will cut as long as she still feels it helps!.!.!.if you have any further questions please feel free to contact me, or possibly even better have her contact me!.!.!.it's always a relief when you learn you are not alone in something that is so secretive, guiltful, shameful, unspoken, and such!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It is true that you should support your girlfriend, but you should not take this on by yourself!. This is very serious and she needs medical attention by a mental health expert!.
There is something inside of her that needs to come out, whether she is cutting herself or doing something else, these are all signs that she has problems!.
Try to find a positive way to talk to her about getting some help!. Tell her you will support her and help her in any way you can!. Check around for some mental health agencies in your area and see what you can find out but don't take this on by yourself!.
Here is a link that might be helpful!. Good luck and you have my prayers!.
http://www!.focusas!.com/SelfInjury!.htmlWww@Answer-Health@Com
There is something inside of her that needs to come out, whether she is cutting herself or doing something else, these are all signs that she has problems!.
Try to find a positive way to talk to her about getting some help!. Tell her you will support her and help her in any way you can!. Check around for some mental health agencies in your area and see what you can find out but don't take this on by yourself!.
Here is a link that might be helpful!. Good luck and you have my prayers!.
http://www!.focusas!.com/SelfInjury!.htmlWww@Answer-Health@Com
yes obviously she is going to do it again!. depression can be brought on by anything has there been some hard stuff going on right now or anything like that!? some depression can be brought on by nothing!. i mean cutting urself is like a drug after u start it becomes and addiction and its extremely hard to stop i know this u need to tell someone or get her help she might not like u for a while but if u really love her u got to do whats bestWww@Answer-Health@Com
There is nothing you can do to stop her if that is what she wants to do!. She needs professional help, I am not trying to say she is crazy but there are a lot of people that hurt themselves to take their mind off or dull the pain!. Maybe you should speak to her parents to see if they know if something is going on with her!. There are treatments but she has to want to stop!. It works like an addiction!. Good Luck!Www@Answer-Health@Com
She must have had a rough life to do something like that, it is a dangerous thing she must seek medical help, when she cuts herself you must call an ambulance it is dangerous she could cut a main artery, she may not say she needs help but by cutting herself it is a cry for help!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
You should tell her you love her everytime you look at her!.
Tell her shes beautiful!.
Tell her shes all you ever ask for!.
Do sweet things for her!.
Buy her things!.
Tell her she can talk to you about anything!.
Next time she wont tell her, just give her a deep warm hug and tell her its ok!.
Sorry if youve tried all this =/
Self harm is a sad thing!.
Hope shes ok ^-^
I wish you all the best of luck =]Www@Answer-Health@Com
Tell her shes beautiful!.
Tell her shes all you ever ask for!.
Do sweet things for her!.
Buy her things!.
Tell her she can talk to you about anything!.
Next time she wont tell her, just give her a deep warm hug and tell her its ok!.
Sorry if youve tried all this =/
Self harm is a sad thing!.
Hope shes ok ^-^
I wish you all the best of luck =]Www@Answer-Health@Com
it could mean that she needs attention or maybe something in her past happened and for her to get it out of her mind she does what shes does you never know but since u know whats going on you need to tell someone it would be good for her to get some help and maybe thats whats she doing call some helpline to get her some help!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
the only way to stop her is to get her help for her emotional anguish!.!.!.or to find her another method that is equally self-destructive!. you can't just take away her blades!. please tell her parentsWww@Answer-Health@Com
Perhaps seeking help, wants you to realise what it is!.
Also try and relieve some of the stress that she has - that you know about!. Might help!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Also try and relieve some of the stress that she has - that you know about!. Might help!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
probabaly will do it again and she probably is depreesed!. take her to the doc and they might give her depression meds!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
i would tell her to get help right away teen sucied rate is soo high more ppl kill themself this way!.
major problemWww@Answer-Health@Com
major problemWww@Answer-Health@Com
Hi Jeff
Please try these links to the Mind website
Understanding self harm:
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Information/Bookl!.!.!.
Understanding depression:
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Information/Bookl!.!.!.
the information is easy to read and understand!.
Unfortunately you are not going to be able to stop your girlfriend harming herself!. She is the only one who can make that decision, hopefully the link will give you some insight into why people do this!.
Most likely she will self harm again and will carry on doing so until she is able to deal with the inner torment that is making her do this!. She needs support, understanding and treatment to deal with whatever is causing her distress!.
You say she 'claims' that she is depressed, this is already a problem because you are doubting her!. Just because her life may appear fine to you doesn't mean that she feels that it is!. There can be many reasons for a person becoming depressed and also resorting to self harm as a coping strategy!.
Please try and be understanding, read the information I've given you and above all let your girlfriend know that you will support her no matter what!.
If you can persuade her to make an appointment to see her GP that would be an ideal thing to do, you can offer to go with her for support if she thinks it would help, but please don't force her to do anything she isn't ready to do yet!.
Another suggestion would be to contact your local mental health charity, they are far less formal than the health services, which may suit your girlfriend!.
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Mind+in+your+area!.!.!.
they are easy to access and you don't have to be referred by anyone else!. It only takes a phone call and the people there are understanding and have lots of knowledge!. They will not judge your girlfriend but will be able to offer her a safe place to go where she will be able to discuss how she is feeling, if that is what she would like to do!.
It is also possible that they have a carers support group that would be useful to you!. It may help you to understand and cope better if you can discuss things with others in a similar situation!.
Hope this helps!.
Take care and good luck to both of you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Please try these links to the Mind website
Understanding self harm:
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Information/Bookl!.!.!.
Understanding depression:
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Information/Bookl!.!.!.
the information is easy to read and understand!.
Unfortunately you are not going to be able to stop your girlfriend harming herself!. She is the only one who can make that decision, hopefully the link will give you some insight into why people do this!.
Most likely she will self harm again and will carry on doing so until she is able to deal with the inner torment that is making her do this!. She needs support, understanding and treatment to deal with whatever is causing her distress!.
You say she 'claims' that she is depressed, this is already a problem because you are doubting her!. Just because her life may appear fine to you doesn't mean that she feels that it is!. There can be many reasons for a person becoming depressed and also resorting to self harm as a coping strategy!.
Please try and be understanding, read the information I've given you and above all let your girlfriend know that you will support her no matter what!.
If you can persuade her to make an appointment to see her GP that would be an ideal thing to do, you can offer to go with her for support if she thinks it would help, but please don't force her to do anything she isn't ready to do yet!.
Another suggestion would be to contact your local mental health charity, they are far less formal than the health services, which may suit your girlfriend!.
http://www!.mind!.org!.uk/Mind+in+your+area!.!.!.
they are easy to access and you don't have to be referred by anyone else!. It only takes a phone call and the people there are understanding and have lots of knowledge!. They will not judge your girlfriend but will be able to offer her a safe place to go where she will be able to discuss how she is feeling, if that is what she would like to do!.
It is also possible that they have a carers support group that would be useful to you!. It may help you to understand and cope better if you can discuss things with others in a similar situation!.
Hope this helps!.
Take care and good luck to both of you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
She is more of an attention seeker, all you can do is talk and pres wade for her to talk!.
There are two kinds the ones who have real problems and hide and the ones who seek the attention, to do it becasue it feels good to hear someone care!.
It should go as her problem dies, don't let her sit on her problem!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
There are two kinds the ones who have real problems and hide and the ones who seek the attention, to do it becasue it feels good to hear someone care!.
It should go as her problem dies, don't let her sit on her problem!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Because she's a self-indulgent, self-obsessed brat!.
Sorry if that sounds mean - but there it is!. The more you pander to her silly little habit, the more you legitimise it!.
Tell her that it's daft, childish, and not somehting any rational individual would respect!.
EDIT: all these thumbs-down merely confirm that the internet has a high proportion of whining emos!. It's not a "cry for help", people - it's a pathetic vanity!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Sorry if that sounds mean - but there it is!. The more you pander to her silly little habit, the more you legitimise it!.
Tell her that it's daft, childish, and not somehting any rational individual would respect!.
EDIT: all these thumbs-down merely confirm that the internet has a high proportion of whining emos!. It's not a "cry for help", people - it's a pathetic vanity!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
emooooo0O0O0O0OOOOOOWww@Answer-Health@Com
Kiss her alot!. That would make her happy and cut less, until she stops completely!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Mate, there are more fish in the ocean!.Www@Answer-Health@Com