I hate my dad..??!
Question: I hate my dad!.!.!?!?
Umm!.!.!.you see!.!.!.i always have but in the last 2 -3 years its gotten really bad!.
Like it got to the point that i was asking my mum to please leave him!.
&& then she did thank god!. Not because of me tho!.!.!.because hes a really bad alcoholic!.
But ever since she left him ive felt really pressured to go up to see him!. But I hate it!. Like my nan lives in the house next to him!. && whenever i go up my nan spends all her time with me telling me to go && see him coz i dont see him enough && when im with him it gets really awkward && tense until one of us eventually blows!.!.!.like we have these amazingly crazy arguments about like everything!. Like ive achually gotten so angry ive had to walk out!. Like just leave!.!.!.without telling anyone!.!.!.&& walk to my mums house!. Most of the arguments start because he tells me im lying!. Everything i say im lying about!. Its because hes so drunk all the time he dosent remember anything!. Like he achually has almost a timetable in the pub!. I hate it!. Any advice!.!.!?!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Like it got to the point that i was asking my mum to please leave him!.
&& then she did thank god!. Not because of me tho!.!.!.because hes a really bad alcoholic!.
But ever since she left him ive felt really pressured to go up to see him!. But I hate it!. Like my nan lives in the house next to him!. && whenever i go up my nan spends all her time with me telling me to go && see him coz i dont see him enough && when im with him it gets really awkward && tense until one of us eventually blows!.!.!.like we have these amazingly crazy arguments about like everything!. Like ive achually gotten so angry ive had to walk out!. Like just leave!.!.!.without telling anyone!.!.!.&& walk to my mums house!. Most of the arguments start because he tells me im lying!. Everything i say im lying about!. Its because hes so drunk all the time he dosent remember anything!. Like he achually has almost a timetable in the pub!. I hate it!. Any advice!.!.!?!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
As long as he is an active alcoholic, Irish, the best thing you can do for him is to suggest he do something about his problem by going to AA or another help source!. If he will not even consider this, the best thing you can do for yourself is sever ties and tell him you do not wish to serve as a witness to his deliberate self-destruction!. I have been on my own since early teens due to both parents being abusive, dedicated alcoholics and I literally escaped with my life and prevented the possible murder of my mother's husband by my own hand and something from his gun collection!. Fifty years later, I have lived a useful, productive life without marriage, had to defeat drug, alcohol and smoking addictions of my own and hope you will be able to live a less complicated life than mine!. I do not miss what I never had as far as relationships with the opposite sex go, but maybe you will feel differently than I and get out before abuse curdles your natural instincts as it did mine!. My mother never believed me so I left but did contact her when she got a terminal illness!. I never did forgive her husband and mayhaps am risking a consignment to Hell for being so non-Christian, but if there is such a thing as Hell, in this case I'd rather taker my chances with the Devil I don't know!. Not knowing your age, I'll start with "teen" and suggest you contact AA yourself and go to an Alateen meeting in your area if you do not drink yourself, and there are good support groups for "Adult Children of Alcoholics" if you are adult!. You do need some pro help through school, pastor or mentor and there is no shame in getting it!. Was not so readily available when I was young and living with alcoholics is IMHO worse than risking eternal damnation!. Best of love and luck to you, sis!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
lol I've never known anyone to actually write 'like' so many times!.!.!.
This is a really difficult situatio and you aren't alone!.!.!.if youre dealing with someone who has a problem with alcohol it really isn't fair for you to be pressured into seeing that person!. The people you have to talk to are your mum and nan, explain how you feel, and they should understand and stop making you see him!.!.!.its YOUR choice not theirs :)Www@Answer-Health@Com
This is a really difficult situatio and you aren't alone!.!.!.if youre dealing with someone who has a problem with alcohol it really isn't fair for you to be pressured into seeing that person!. The people you have to talk to are your mum and nan, explain how you feel, and they should understand and stop making you see him!.!.!.its YOUR choice not theirs :)Www@Answer-Health@Com
Could you not channel all that energy you useing up hating by rying to help him!. Why is he an alcaholic!. What made him do that!. Does he want help!. You can only try!. Give him a chance!. If he blows it then walk away and dont think about him again!.
I hope it works out for you!. You only get one dad in life!. I wish I had mineWww@Answer-Health@Com
I hope it works out for you!. You only get one dad in life!. I wish I had mineWww@Answer-Health@Com
Sounds right a right knob!. Dont do anything to extreme because you will have a feeling of guilt forever but i advise getting him back somehow!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
My friend hates her dad and she loves staying with her mum because its just the 2 of them, if you hate him tell your mum and gran how you feel and if they think your being stupid show them that your not!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I have some advice, stop using dual-ampersands!.
It only takes one "&" to make people realise what you mean with it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It only takes one "&" to make people realise what you mean with it!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't know why you bother with him!.Unless your feeling
parent guilt!.Some parents are good some bad!.He is bad!.
Do for yourself -not your gran or others!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
parent guilt!.Some parents are good some bad!.He is bad!.
Do for yourself -not your gran or others!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Don't we all!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
you should just distance yourself from him!.
i know you hate him right now but you will miss him when hes gone!.
Im not gonna say your lucky your dads in your life because thats not always the situation!.
you should tell him how you feel and leave it at that!.!.!.and tell him when hes sober so he will remember!.!.!.!.if he thinks he might lose his daughter he might stop!.!.!.!.!.but if he already lost his wife!.!.and marriage, theres probably nothing you can do for him!.!.!.!.!.all you can do is stay away and better yourself!.
and tell your grandma shame on her for making you feel guilty!.!.!.you shouldnt be forced!.!.!.ever!. ecspecially when it causes you to put yourself in harms way!.!.!.!.like walking home without telling anyone!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
i know you hate him right now but you will miss him when hes gone!.
Im not gonna say your lucky your dads in your life because thats not always the situation!.
you should tell him how you feel and leave it at that!.!.!.and tell him when hes sober so he will remember!.!.!.!.if he thinks he might lose his daughter he might stop!.!.!.!.!.but if he already lost his wife!.!.and marriage, theres probably nothing you can do for him!.!.!.!.!.all you can do is stay away and better yourself!.
and tell your grandma shame on her for making you feel guilty!.!.!.you shouldnt be forced!.!.!.ever!. ecspecially when it causes you to put yourself in harms way!.!.!.!.like walking home without telling anyone!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
He sounds like a selfish man!. I suggest you write a letter to your nan and your dad telling them how you feel and why you don't want to see him!. No wonder you hate him!. Send them the letters and leave the ball in their court!.
Tell your nan that you love her but you feel that your visits to her are spoiled by her going on about your dad and you think its a shame because you like going to see her!.
Tell your dad that he needs to take responsibility for himself!. The reason he goes off at you is more than likely because he feels guilty about what a terrible dad he's been!. Tell him if he wants any kind of relationship with you then he needs to get his act together!. Your sister will find out soon enough what he is like and i know you love her but it is not your responibility to hide from her what your dad is really like!. Good luck this is a terrible situation!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Tell your nan that you love her but you feel that your visits to her are spoiled by her going on about your dad and you think its a shame because you like going to see her!.
Tell your dad that he needs to take responsibility for himself!. The reason he goes off at you is more than likely because he feels guilty about what a terrible dad he's been!. Tell him if he wants any kind of relationship with you then he needs to get his act together!. Your sister will find out soon enough what he is like and i know you love her but it is not your responibility to hide from her what your dad is really like!. Good luck this is a terrible situation!!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I cannot experience your pain n sufferings as we are al individuals !.!.!. but trying to understand!.!.!. I would say!.!.!.
Give yourself n your dad space, keep visits minumal!.!.!. Time heals!.!.!.Your dad may constantly drink bcos he may be suffering also, he may have his own troubles n failures that haunt him!.!.!.not saying dat drinking is ok!.!.!. but we need to be understanding to both you's!.
Do take care!.!.!.Please dont HATE !.!.!.it is such a powerful emotion, it can take over you!.!.!.
GoRa NeatEyeWww@Answer-Health@Com
Give yourself n your dad space, keep visits minumal!.!.!. Time heals!.!.!.Your dad may constantly drink bcos he may be suffering also, he may have his own troubles n failures that haunt him!.!.!.not saying dat drinking is ok!.!.!. but we need to be understanding to both you's!.
Do take care!.!.!.Please dont HATE !.!.!.it is such a powerful emotion, it can take over you!.!.!.
GoRa NeatEyeWww@Answer-Health@Com
i feel rly bad 4 u!u need 2 tell some1 that u don't want 2 c him and explain y!call ur dad and tell him wat he's doin wrong and if he doesn't get better u won't c him anymore!he might realize that it is gettin outta hand!pray,and trust that he'll get better!and hate is a strong word!and don't b afraid 2 stand up 2 him!i rly hope things get better 4 u,take care!Www@Answer-Health@Com
its really hard - i have had some experience with this - and i also get extreemly angry with him for it - and, for that matter, at other people that really dont understand what it's like to be around someone like that, especially having to live with them!. But i do know that he probably has his reasons, unknown to you, and maybe unknown to himself!. It is an illness, and its an awful situation to be in!. Part of me will never stop hating him for it!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.but luckly my experience is relatively contained!.!.!.!.if it was an ongoing thing then i would seek out counselling to help deal with it!. I love the stuff, it allows you to modify your behaviour and way of looking at things so that you can be happier!. Hope i've helped a little bit!. Oh - and you don't have to like you family, its your choice!. xxWww@Answer-Health@Com
Hi,
I to have a father who is drunnk all the time!. i'm 21 years old right now!. alot of parents don't relize the toll there relationship takes on the children which is sad!. So me, I decided to get out on my own , get my own and explore the world!. I'm going into the airforce!. best thing i could do!. The best advice i think i can give you is to not let it stress you out to much!. and as soon as you go try to go your own seperate path in life!. It's hard but it can be done with hard work and effort!. tough situation!. But u'll get through it!. The awkward ness comes from "someone" forcing you to do something you don't want to do!. if you want to see if fine!. if not maybe just write him a letter!. watever you feel is right than do it!. Talk to that someone about ur emotions when your forced to speak with him!. !! good luck sweety !. i wish you the best!Www@Answer-Health@Com
I to have a father who is drunnk all the time!. i'm 21 years old right now!. alot of parents don't relize the toll there relationship takes on the children which is sad!. So me, I decided to get out on my own , get my own and explore the world!. I'm going into the airforce!. best thing i could do!. The best advice i think i can give you is to not let it stress you out to much!. and as soon as you go try to go your own seperate path in life!. It's hard but it can be done with hard work and effort!. tough situation!. But u'll get through it!. The awkward ness comes from "someone" forcing you to do something you don't want to do!. if you want to see if fine!. if not maybe just write him a letter!. watever you feel is right than do it!. Talk to that someone about ur emotions when your forced to speak with him!. !! good luck sweety !. i wish you the best!Www@Answer-Health@Com
i was in the exact same position as you my dad was a raging violent alcoholic, i never wanted to see him much only popped round birthdays and xmas i was always calling the police on him when he was violent, he became terminally ill and died last year!.!.!.!. the moral of my story is at the end of the day hes still your dad but dont be pressured into something you dont want to do, but he wont be there forever xxWww@Answer-Health@Com
that must be really hard for you
its very hard to deal with any alcoholic, never mind if the alcoholic is your dad!. until an alcoholic admits he/she is the one with the problem, talking to them can be almost impossible sometimes
my advice would be try to remember you have done NOTHING to feel guilty about, its your dads responsibility to look after you til youre 18, not the other way round
and maybe think about counselling!. it can help you to deal with your feelings and "off-load" to someone who doesnt know your dadWww@Answer-Health@Com
its very hard to deal with any alcoholic, never mind if the alcoholic is your dad!. until an alcoholic admits he/she is the one with the problem, talking to them can be almost impossible sometimes
my advice would be try to remember you have done NOTHING to feel guilty about, its your dads responsibility to look after you til youre 18, not the other way round
and maybe think about counselling!. it can help you to deal with your feelings and "off-load" to someone who doesnt know your dadWww@Answer-Health@Com
i know its very difficult and to be honest i would refuse to see him at all without even discussing about it, but if u really have to see him when you are with him try to keep in mind that YOU ARE OUT OF THE PROBLEM, he is drunk, you dont lie and you are there just to check on him and see if he is ok!. Be calm and try not to be the one that blows at the end, if he does just walk away!. Its a tactic that i had to follow many times, like a shield that helped me protect myself somehow!.!.!. Its hard but taking a step back (mentally) helps u see things clearly!. xWww@Answer-Health@Com
best advice is to totally avoid him he seems very unstable and i would hate for u to be there if he is drunk because ur arguements might lead to him hitting you which is so wrong,it seems very hard for ur lil sis but at the same time ur putting yourself at danger if u are going there by yuorself!.!.!.!.!.!.if he drinks and shouts at u then he dosent deserve to know u and im glad ur mother got rid of him u deserve betetr than that i hope it works out with u but please saty away from him!!!! drink +anger = NO NO NOWww@Answer-Health@Com
Very hard for me to answer!. Because I am a father, and my 21-year-old daughter hates me!.
I do not smoke, drink very little and spend hardly any time in the pub (maybe on average an hour a month), we never really have arguments, and I am always interested in what she is doing!.
No, it is because her mother and I separated in 1991 when she was little - she had an affair with another man, made a baby with him, and she wanted me out of the house so that he could move in!. It was mostly because my career was getting nowhere, and so she lost all respect for me!.
I tried to keep contact with my two children (I have a son aged 19 too)!. At first I wanted to put them to bed several times a week, even if meant travelling 40 miles each time, but their mother said she would only let me see them once a week!. She used to arrange friends to invite them over on the days they were due to come to me, and then make a big thing about me "forcing" them to see me, when they wanted to be with their friends!. Then one day she said I could only see them once a fortnight, and we had a blazing row, so she stopped all contact and I went to court!.
I got a court order in the end, which lasted a few months, and then she started stopping the contact again and I had to go back to court!. In the end, the children had had enough and told the court officer they did not want to see me again!. I last saw my daughter and my son when they were 13 and 11!. My daughter's last words to me were "Dad, you're not really important to us any more"!. They then changed their surnames to their stepfather's surname without my consent!.
I miss them terribly, even now they are grown up!. I managed to track them down on their YouTube and FaceBook pages, but as soon as they discovered I had found them, they deleted them!.
So maybe as someone who, like my daughter, hates her dad, you could advise me what I could do to win her and my son back, or will I just have to give up on them, find a young wife, faithful this time, a good Catholic like I have become, and start again!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
I do not smoke, drink very little and spend hardly any time in the pub (maybe on average an hour a month), we never really have arguments, and I am always interested in what she is doing!.
No, it is because her mother and I separated in 1991 when she was little - she had an affair with another man, made a baby with him, and she wanted me out of the house so that he could move in!. It was mostly because my career was getting nowhere, and so she lost all respect for me!.
I tried to keep contact with my two children (I have a son aged 19 too)!. At first I wanted to put them to bed several times a week, even if meant travelling 40 miles each time, but their mother said she would only let me see them once a week!. She used to arrange friends to invite them over on the days they were due to come to me, and then make a big thing about me "forcing" them to see me, when they wanted to be with their friends!. Then one day she said I could only see them once a fortnight, and we had a blazing row, so she stopped all contact and I went to court!.
I got a court order in the end, which lasted a few months, and then she started stopping the contact again and I had to go back to court!. In the end, the children had had enough and told the court officer they did not want to see me again!. I last saw my daughter and my son when they were 13 and 11!. My daughter's last words to me were "Dad, you're not really important to us any more"!. They then changed their surnames to their stepfather's surname without my consent!.
I miss them terribly, even now they are grown up!. I managed to track them down on their YouTube and FaceBook pages, but as soon as they discovered I had found them, they deleted them!.
So maybe as someone who, like my daughter, hates her dad, you could advise me what I could do to win her and my son back, or will I just have to give up on them, find a young wife, faithful this time, a good Catholic like I have become, and start again!?Www@Answer-Health@Com