Help a guy who's gf has an eating disorder?!
Question: Help a guy who's gf has an eating disorder!?
My best guy friend wants to know how to deal with my best girl friend!.!.!. his girlfriend!. She has had eating disorders since I have known her (15+years)!. He reads all the articles but still doesn't seem to understand her!. He doesn't understand why she wont just get 'fixed!.' So he comes to me!. I'm not a guy so I really don't know what to tell him!. I've just always been supportive and tried to help her care more about herself!. But a person can only do so much!. Her life doesn't seem to be in danger and she gets regular check ups!. Any advice for a girl to give a guy about a girl!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
It is common for men to think that they just want to fix it (my dad had the same problem)!. Tell him the only thing he can do it wait for her to fix it herself!. She should be in treatment if it is still active!. Or at least therapy!. But in the meantime, he can just not nag her about anything involving her eating or the eating disorder, it will just make it worse!. He might want to avoid 'body' comments too!. They can be very triggering!. And make himself open to her talking about it!. It is probably a very large part of her mind right now and that is hard to not be able to talk about!. The most she talks about it, the more he might understand!. It is basically like a bad-conscience that tells us not to eat and that we are horrible people!. If he can remember it is not a person thing, he will be much better off!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
There is a support community for those who have loved ones with eating disorders!. It is arguably the best on the web!. If your friend's bf is looking for support, ideas, and advice, this is the place to go:
http://www!.something-fishy!.org
Best of luck,
~M~
p!.s!. This girls' parents MUST be informed!. Eating disorders KILL teenagers and adults every!.!.!.single!.!.!. day!. After that, there is no second chance!. If no one has yet informed the parents, be a TRUE FRIEND, and let them know!. Only when she gets high quality treatment, will she be free of this!. Otherwise, she is looking at a LIFETIME of misery!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
http://www!.something-fishy!.org
Best of luck,
~M~
p!.s!. This girls' parents MUST be informed!. Eating disorders KILL teenagers and adults every!.!.!.single!.!.!. day!. After that, there is no second chance!. If no one has yet informed the parents, be a TRUE FRIEND, and let them know!. Only when she gets high quality treatment, will she be free of this!. Otherwise, she is looking at a LIFETIME of misery!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Yes- tell him to take her to any of the "third world" countries, The sight of starving children will help her overcome her condition!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Question is is she anorexic or bulemic!. Trying to "fix" her is not going to help!. Eating disorders are very dangerous and hard to fix!. They are in the mind!. Every girl looks in the mirror at some point in time and says ohh I dont like my tummy or my legs are fat or whatever!. Girls that have eating disorders dont like anything about them!. They could way 100 pounds soaking wet and what they see is a 400 pound elephant staring back at them!. She needs to put into a hospital that deals with eating disorders so they can weigh her and make her get to a healthy weight!. Eating disorders can cause a number of things!. But heart problem is the most serious!. She needs some kind of an intervention!. Her parents or someone of importance needs to be told!. It could be the difference between her dying or saving her life!. Do the right thing and tell someone!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
please, he needs to understand that there is no way to just "get over it:"
this disease is crippling to your social life: it gets to the point where you cannot meet friends, or even hang out with a guy because you get so paranoid, and feel so insecure about the way i look!.!.!.!. i broke up with a boyfriend because he kept telling me i wasnt fat, i couldnt see what was wrong with me, and i saw everything but the truth!. he needs to be there for her, and realise that although the biggest hurdle is over (realising she has a problem), it is going to be an ongoing battle for the rest of her life, to look in the mirror each morning and see what is really there!.
get him to go to her support group!. hear their stories!. (if she hasnt got a support group, reccomend it!. it helps so much, to hear that you are not alone)
he needs to realise that she is trying!. that to even admit that it is her with the problem, and to realise that it is not everyone else lying to you (honestly your perceptions get so warped, it seems like everyone MUST be lying to you, or that they are just jealous)!. every compliment can feel false, every single comment and word spoken by those around is twisted by the way your thinking!.
he needs to be there for her!. this is the hardest thing she will ever go through!. it will never end!. she will have days where she will wake up and see herself as the fattest, ugliest person imaginable!.
just being there helps!. my thoughts are with her, every day is a struggleWww@Answer-Health@Com
this disease is crippling to your social life: it gets to the point where you cannot meet friends, or even hang out with a guy because you get so paranoid, and feel so insecure about the way i look!.!.!.!. i broke up with a boyfriend because he kept telling me i wasnt fat, i couldnt see what was wrong with me, and i saw everything but the truth!. he needs to be there for her, and realise that although the biggest hurdle is over (realising she has a problem), it is going to be an ongoing battle for the rest of her life, to look in the mirror each morning and see what is really there!.
get him to go to her support group!. hear their stories!. (if she hasnt got a support group, reccomend it!. it helps so much, to hear that you are not alone)
he needs to realise that she is trying!. that to even admit that it is her with the problem, and to realise that it is not everyone else lying to you (honestly your perceptions get so warped, it seems like everyone MUST be lying to you, or that they are just jealous)!. every compliment can feel false, every single comment and word spoken by those around is twisted by the way your thinking!.
he needs to be there for her!. this is the hardest thing she will ever go through!. it will never end!. she will have days where she will wake up and see herself as the fattest, ugliest person imaginable!.
just being there helps!. my thoughts are with her, every day is a struggleWww@Answer-Health@Com