19 year old with no ambition. Could it be depression? I always choose the best a!
Question: 19 year old with no ambition!. Could it be depression!? I always choose the best answer! HELP!!?
A friend of mine has a 19 year old daughter with seemingly no ambition!?This 19 year old dropped out of high school and then returned to drop out again!. She got fairly good grades but lacked the desire or drive!. My friend owns a gymnastics gym, and upon her retirement the business would be run by her 2 or 3 kids (if they wanted to)!. This 19 year old is a trained gymnast but chooses to work for free tanning rather than to help out at the gym, because she doesn't get 'paid'!. She lives at home for free room and board, and has been kicked out several times, to sleep on the doorstep!. She steals, lies and cannot hold a job!. What advice do you have for her and/or her mother!?
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Answers:
I'm a psychiatrist and it's pretty difficult to know what's going on from the info you give without knowing more!. There are a wide variety of things, everything from depression to personality disorder to simply trying to find her way in life and trying a bunch of different strategies to work out what direction she wants to go in!. It's pretty common to see adolescents get stuck for a while till they find a direction in life that motivated them!. A counsellor might be able to her her find direction!. Having responsibility for her own welfare and mistakes if she was kicked out of home might help the process!. A GP should be able to get a grip if there is an underlying psychiatric problem or not if she's willing to see one!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Its hard to give advice based on just what you covered!. You need to get deeper into the mother/daughter relationship!. Has mom been pushing her rather than encouraging her to do things!. Is she just a stubborn/spoiled brat!? Sounds like she's acting rebellious!. Get family counsseling!. 19 is too young nowadays to expect anything from a child!. Encourage her to go to college than kicking her out of the house this early!. She needs parental love and support!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It is not at all depression, it is a mental disorder that leading her to promote ample amount of mistakes without realising enough!. The only solution to it is taking advices from a good psychiatrist who can heal her and giving the paents enough materials which will surely give her a frution energy and thus I am sure she will be out of this !.!. and will soon start to act well again !.!.!.
dont forget to check her daily activities and the reason she's bit out !.!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
dont forget to check her daily activities and the reason she's bit out !.!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
With nineteen years she should be able to do whatever she wants to do without being judged by anyone!. You do not write she is unhappy!.!. so for me it seems like her family / community make her take all the "normal" steps in life without asking her!. If she is not mature enough, she surely will not learn it by being directed "for her own good' all the time!. She needs to feel that she is responsible for her own life!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Have her see a doctor!. There are medications that can help that!. A therapist could also help!. And yes, it could very well be depression!. If there is no drive to succeed, or try what so ever, it's very unhealthy, and is wasting time in her life!. Have it taken care of sooner than later, before it escalates!. There are some scary consequences!. Be very gentle about the situation and her help fast!.
Hope I helped!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Hope I helped!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Talk to her in person!. Spare time with her so that you can talk about her personal problems!. Perhaps, she needs attention from her close family!. Business or money is not a solution for this problem!. Teenagers this time needs parental guidance and someone they can talk to!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
Where is the father figure in this girls life!? Does the Mom take time for this young lady and really talk to her about how she is feeling!?!?
She is a product of what her mom has allowed her to be!.!.!.!.Lazy!.!.!.!. Why!?!?!? Guilt maybe who knows but for some reason she has been allowed to live this way and it will only stop when the gravy train stops!.!.!.!. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free so to speak!.!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
She is a product of what her mom has allowed her to be!.!.!.!.Lazy!.!.!.!. Why!?!?!? Guilt maybe who knows but for some reason she has been allowed to live this way and it will only stop when the gravy train stops!.!.!.!. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free so to speak!.!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It most likely depression and it sounds like it!. It sounds a bit like me when I get really down so I know what she feels like to an extent!. You should either talk to her or let her sort it out her own, it depends if she is the type of person to listen to you or not!.!.!.!.
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sometimes in these situations its hopeless!. im sorry!. some people like this come to their senses when something tragic or influential happens!. a death maybe, an illness, or w/e!. they need a motivation in life!. and you can probably help her find that!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
she's bored with everything!.!.!.!. she needs a new atmosphere, a change that would really mean change so that she starts perceiving things differentlyWww@Answer-Health@Com
She needs help, maybe a psychiatrist to know why she's doing all those things!. She may have a big problem or something happened that she does'nt want anyone to know!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Xanax!.
Best solution!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Best solution!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
well!.!.!. its just my opinion
if she wants to be happy or wateva!.!.!. shes gt to giv herself a purpose or a mission!.!.!. she cud try to make to the netball team or wt nt!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
if she wants to be happy or wateva!.!.!. shes gt to giv herself a purpose or a mission!.!.!. she cud try to make to the netball team or wt nt!.!.!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Sounds like a pothead to me!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
antidepressants!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
sounds like a personal problemWww@Answer-Health@Com
you are right where you suppose to be honey don't worry!. you will get pregnat and start making babies soon!. me! me! me! for best answerWww@Answer-Health@Com
I advise her mom not to let her just live their for free if her daughter isn't doing anything!. That will cause her to never go and get a job or get out of the house or anything!. Her mom should show that she'll be there for her, but needs to be strong enough not to let her daughter overpower her authority and mooch off her!.
As for the girl, it sounds like something personal that may be keeping her from striving to achieve something!. Someone should sit down and have a talk with her!. It may not work well if her mom did it, but maybe you!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
As for the girl, it sounds like something personal that may be keeping her from striving to achieve something!. Someone should sit down and have a talk with her!. It may not work well if her mom did it, but maybe you!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
In regards of the daughter, it very well could be a mild depression, but it sounds a little more complicated that that with the law-breaking and all!. I would say she definitely needs help to straighten out her life before she encounters legal problems!. It seem to reach beyond what her mother is able to handle!. My best suggestions for the daughter are psychological help, Peace Corps, or something to teach her to be a better person in general!.
With the mother's situation, I'm sure she has a over-full plate with the gym and all the family things!. I think that it's never a bad time to evaluate your priorities and how far you are willing to go to help someone you love!. The mother could turn the daughter in to the local law enforcement if she won't clean up her act!. Only issue with any ultimatum is both options need to be valid!. Your friend should not make any threat she will not carry out!. I learned in parenting class, (provided it was for toddlers) that you can not control the actions of others, only your reaction to them!. She could simply give her a goal, like "get your GED", a time frame (6 months), and a consequence that she can and will stick to (eviction) if that goal is not reached!. It could be discussed and re-evaluated mid-way through!.
Or, she could require that the daughter earn her keep!. It's not too much to ask that time not spent at the tanning job be spent taking care of household duties or helping at the gym!. It might be inspirational for the daughter to help others!. Just thoughts!. I wish y'all luck!. Oh, BTW, the parenting course does have help for parenting teens!. It's the Love & Logic series!. It's a bit pricey, but I found it fairly well-rounded and helpful!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
With the mother's situation, I'm sure she has a over-full plate with the gym and all the family things!. I think that it's never a bad time to evaluate your priorities and how far you are willing to go to help someone you love!. The mother could turn the daughter in to the local law enforcement if she won't clean up her act!. Only issue with any ultimatum is both options need to be valid!. Your friend should not make any threat she will not carry out!. I learned in parenting class, (provided it was for toddlers) that you can not control the actions of others, only your reaction to them!. She could simply give her a goal, like "get your GED", a time frame (6 months), and a consequence that she can and will stick to (eviction) if that goal is not reached!. It could be discussed and re-evaluated mid-way through!.
Or, she could require that the daughter earn her keep!. It's not too much to ask that time not spent at the tanning job be spent taking care of household duties or helping at the gym!. It might be inspirational for the daughter to help others!. Just thoughts!. I wish y'all luck!. Oh, BTW, the parenting course does have help for parenting teens!. It's the Love & Logic series!. It's a bit pricey, but I found it fairly well-rounded and helpful!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
I don't know all of the details, but part of it sounds like the parenting circumstances could be affecting her ambition!. Firstly, you mention that she doesn't work at the gym because she doesn't get 'paid'!. She should get paid as an employee, just like anyone else would!. The fact that she's the daughter of the gym's owner shouldn't mean she has to work without any pay; and, the parents shouldn't reason that they don't have to pay her as she's living at home with free room and board and so it all "evens out!." This situation deprives her of the learning process of working to earn a living!. I agree with the daughter, she should get paid!. If she were to work at the gym without any pay, then this would have no real motivation for her (by not paying her, the parents are kind of like extending their parental rule to the outside world when they should be treating her as a paid employee - this has the effect of her seeing the outside world as "capped")!. So, she probably doesn't have much ambition, not because she's lazy - but rather because she's not able to see (and hasn't learned) the virtue of an honest day's work for pay whereby, over time, she could learn to have her own independence (her own place, her own sense of making it in the world and navigating the way she wants)!. So, I think that the parent's are partly to blame for creating this situation!. By not offering to pay her to coach, and also telling her that she will inherit the family business later on if she wants - again, it just "caps" her under her parent's umbrella!. I'm not saying they're bad parents or anything like that, but just some of their decisions on handling the situation may have stifled their daughter's ambition!. She probably does want her independence (as indicated by the fact that she's willing to work at the tanning salon for free), but she's kind of like in a "stunted" situation!. Going out into the real world and getting a job probably seems very uncertain and perhaps scary for her - she doesn't have much work experience besides coaching, and she hasn't learned the process of earning her own money and the value of a dollar!. On the other hand, she could coach at the gym which she's familiar and comfortable with, but she has no motivation to do that because she doesn't get paid and so she doesn't see it as a worthwhile job (which is why she'd rather work for free at the tanning salon because, even though she doesn't get paid, she has her independence there)!. So, she's kind of "stuck!." Until she's able to get respect as an employee at the coaching gym and be paid for it - I don't think she will likely go about seeking a paid job on the outside world!. This is the reason I feel she has no ambition because, as I mentioned before, she probably feels "stuck"!. It's perhaps why she may be depressed (and consequently, why she may be stealing and lying)!. The coaching job is an appropriate starting point because it's intertwined with parental teaching (it's a bit of a delicate situation because her parents are also acting as her employers)!. Once her parents give her the proper respect and start paying her for coaching, her ambition will improve!. She will learn the value of a dollar and eventually how to manage her money as well!. Later on, she'll probably want to get an apartment of her own - the parents should give her enough time (and pay her enough money) to allow for this to happen (I'd say about 2 years time from when she begins working should allow her adequate time to save enough money)!. If she's still living at home after say 2 years of working, then the parents could think about charging her a nominal fee for room and board and she will eventually get the hint that it's time to move out!. By then though, she will be more mature and have a better sense of her own responsibility!. Also, she will have more self-confidence in finding another job on the outside world or even going back to school - if she so chooses!. In any case, she would be well on her way to becoming a responsible adult and capable of making it on her own!.
Good luck to your friend and her daughter!. If you need any follow up advice, feel free to email me!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Good luck to your friend and her daughter!. If you need any follow up advice, feel free to email me!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm not exactly sure but depression might be a possibility,other than that,it sounds alot like this girl might not have as high of a self-esteem as she leads on!.Was her self-esteem maby damaged in high-shool or elementary-shool!? Well I really don't know what's causing this,but if it's low self-esteem,positive reinforcement,tough love,and support are often helpful!.Or maby she just hasn't figured out what she wants to do in life yet,because that was what I went through!.I really don't know though because I've never met her before,in truth it could be a number of things!.Just make sure that she knows that she IS a capable person,that's what helped me,but it may take awhile for it to stick,just make sure that their is someone in her life that is there for her emotionally and that won't give up on her,but this person must give alot of tough love and not tolerate her slacking off so much!.Or maby try to figure out her interests and help her to fid an occupation in that area,or try and spark a new interest!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Depression is possible, but it's hard to tell!. I'm no psychologist, but because she steals, lies and cannot hold a job, that suggests there might be a personal problem, might be something more than simply depression; just because someone is depressed doesn't mean they'll turn to crime!.
Depression is not always the case; for example, I was in a similar situation!.!. I used to think that there was no future for me, life was going to suck, and while I wasn't necessarily depressed, I felt like school was pointless, that I had no future but a life of crime!. Luckily my life has turned around since and these days life's never been better!. From what you told us, it seems that this could be the case; she has no ambition, resorts to crime!.!.!. seems like she doesn't care about her future to throw it away, which is a really sad thing to see as I've traveled down exactly that path, and there's nothing but misery and poverty down there!.
It could also be drugs, or it could be low self-esteem, or abuse of some sort she experienced (rape or bullying perhaps!?)!.!.!. there is many, MANY possible reasons!. The best way to find out is by simply talking to her, if she is willing!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
Depression is not always the case; for example, I was in a similar situation!.!. I used to think that there was no future for me, life was going to suck, and while I wasn't necessarily depressed, I felt like school was pointless, that I had no future but a life of crime!. Luckily my life has turned around since and these days life's never been better!. From what you told us, it seems that this could be the case; she has no ambition, resorts to crime!.!.!. seems like she doesn't care about her future to throw it away, which is a really sad thing to see as I've traveled down exactly that path, and there's nothing but misery and poverty down there!.
It could also be drugs, or it could be low self-esteem, or abuse of some sort she experienced (rape or bullying perhaps!?)!.!.!. there is many, MANY possible reasons!. The best way to find out is by simply talking to her, if she is willing!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
It sounds like to me that her mother is hurting her more then helping her and doesn't even realize it!. Maybe her mother needs to giver her daughter a reality check!. Just next time she screws up don't go to her rescue!. Also help her get into college!. Its never too late to get a GED, go to community college and then after saving for a few years a university!. with a education under her belt she can get a job a place and be independent!. But if you think its something more then her mother babying her, maybe her mom should take her to a therapist so the therapist can tell you what is really going on inside her head!. You can't help someone that doesnt know how to help themselves!. I hope I helped you!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
FOR HER THE ADVICE I COULD GIVE HER IS TO SHOOT HERSELF WHT THE **** IS SHE STILL BREATHING AIR IF SHES A PARASITE OF SOCIETY N FOR HER MOM TO FORGET ABOUT HER DAUGHTER N DONT DO THE SAME MISTAKE SHE MADE WHIT HER Www@Answer-Health@Com