Borderline personality disorder and sexual abuse...please answer!
Question: Borderline personality disorder and sexual abuse!.!.!.please answer
there are days were i feel GREAT!.
there are days were i feel Nothing
there are days were i just feel sad like i do today!. does this ever stop i feel so sad that i cry inside and nothing happens to be good for me in my life and i have vivid dreams about my abuser that sexually abused me over 15 years ago when i was 11 years old!. it was so bad that he held me at gunpoint!.!. i lost my kids they are in care of the department of child safety and with no contact at all its killing me i hope things get better!. it just seems no end at all but to GIVE UP DOES IT GET BETTER!? anyone with BPD!? its only been 6 months and yet i have improved and my doctors and social worker say so yet i don't feel it like days like to day!.!. i'm on 20mg of zyprexa and 225mg of effxor xr
thanks for lettting me Vent! the sexual abuse is just getting to me i know it was so long ago but it still affects me and me and the social worker are working through it slowley but it was still frighting at 11 years old at gunpoint being raped from both my private area's and made to perform acts on him and it still makes me sick to this day and i still have nightmares about the trauma caused because of him!.
and i wish things were better between me and my husband but i guess things can't be that way at the moment with BPD i need to learn to live with it first!.
i have read the books and the movies etc and nothing helps!
thanksWww@Answer-Health@Com
there are days were i feel Nothing
there are days were i just feel sad like i do today!. does this ever stop i feel so sad that i cry inside and nothing happens to be good for me in my life and i have vivid dreams about my abuser that sexually abused me over 15 years ago when i was 11 years old!. it was so bad that he held me at gunpoint!.!. i lost my kids they are in care of the department of child safety and with no contact at all its killing me i hope things get better!. it just seems no end at all but to GIVE UP DOES IT GET BETTER!? anyone with BPD!? its only been 6 months and yet i have improved and my doctors and social worker say so yet i don't feel it like days like to day!.!. i'm on 20mg of zyprexa and 225mg of effxor xr
thanks for lettting me Vent! the sexual abuse is just getting to me i know it was so long ago but it still affects me and me and the social worker are working through it slowley but it was still frighting at 11 years old at gunpoint being raped from both my private area's and made to perform acts on him and it still makes me sick to this day and i still have nightmares about the trauma caused because of him!.
and i wish things were better between me and my husband but i guess things can't be that way at the moment with BPD i need to learn to live with it first!.
i have read the books and the movies etc and nothing helps!
thanksWww@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Sometimes we fight it when we feel sad!. Like it is wrong to feel anything other than happy!. I think its ok to feel sad! You have some good reasons for getting upset! Perhaps if you look at it that way, you wont beat yourself up and you won't try to fix it, like trying to think different or trying to get your husband to help you feel better!. Just tell yourself its ok to feel sad about your past, your current situation!. Give yourself a hug!. You have quite the challenge trying to deal with bpd!. I know meds can take a while to start helping so hang in there with that!. Perhaps you could do what the japanese do and get two ducks when the couple is getting along they face each other when they are not getting along, they turn the ducks back to back!. Perhaps you could have some symbol that you could have like that!. It's ok to grieve, then on the better days you can rejoice!. I sense that your putting pressure on yourself!. I don't know if any of this is helping you, I am sorry that I dont know exactly what to say!. I think its good that you have counselors!. Take care!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I'm not too informed about the BPD, heck I might even have it myself!. But what I do know is it's not an easy road!. Just for the moment, think of things you are thankful for!. Genuinely give thanks, even just in your head, for something or someone!. do the books and movie include "The Courage To Heal!?" and the workbook that goes with it!? It helped me re-focus off of my past rapes and make a safe place to deal with it!. also, you can look up Rape Trauma Syndrome, Post-Tramatic Stress Disorder, and one web site, for future reference is "aftersilence"!. I wish you the best, and try not to stop your treatment and any kinds of therapy!. I just got Child Protective Services out of my life and let me tell you, it's not gonna be easy, but you know it's worth it!. Www@Answer-Health@Com
Things will get better - they only do! You can never stop believing in the goOdness of life - the goodness of you - Its so hard to stay positive - but its like 'training' - the more you believe in yourself to persevere through each day - the easier each day will become - One thing at a time!.!.!.one day at a time!.!. When everything starts to unwravel - just remember where you've come from - and where you want to be - Don't take your mind off it for a second!.!.!. Gotta Focus your energy into something positive - no matter how hard it is - the payoff is priceless! one thing at a time!.!.!. just one thing!.!. You need to work through your issues slowly - and talk about this with somebody - maybe your husband!? maybe he doesn't know how to help you!? but this could be a way!.!.!. If the meds are working - wonderful! don't be afraid to ask your pharmacist what he thinks! i am a pharmacy technician - its good to make sure of the hefty side affects and combinations - and they could work differently in your body!.
Your body holds stress- from all your years! 'memory cells' if you'd be open - I would suggest having a 'bio feedback' done - this is more along the lines of a 'herbal healing' treatment center - some sort of wellness center - also something called an 'energy healing' its so wonderful - my family and i have been going for quite some time off and on - should look into it possibly!? - Know yourself, Love yourself - and let yourself live - slow but sure! you'll find your happy mediumWww@Answer-Health@Com
Your body holds stress- from all your years! 'memory cells' if you'd be open - I would suggest having a 'bio feedback' done - this is more along the lines of a 'herbal healing' treatment center - some sort of wellness center - also something called an 'energy healing' its so wonderful - my family and i have been going for quite some time off and on - should look into it possibly!? - Know yourself, Love yourself - and let yourself live - slow but sure! you'll find your happy mediumWww@Answer-Health@Com
I have been diagnosed with BPD, but I feel a lot better now, because I did Dialectical Behavior Therapy!. Look into it!.
I change slowly!. It took me five years to decide to go on antidepressants, and five years of switching around to know that meds weren't the answer!. My family constantly triggers me, but I only JUST NOW, in the last week, decided to tell them all to go to hell until I can learn to ignore thier behavior!. I hate having long hair, but I only recently decided to cut it all off because I realized that keeping it long in case I found a man was stupid and self-hating!.
Everyone's journey is different!. The one thing that I KNOW will help you is DBT!. And don't learn to live with it!. Conquer it!. You are not a disease!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
I change slowly!. It took me five years to decide to go on antidepressants, and five years of switching around to know that meds weren't the answer!. My family constantly triggers me, but I only JUST NOW, in the last week, decided to tell them all to go to hell until I can learn to ignore thier behavior!. I hate having long hair, but I only recently decided to cut it all off because I realized that keeping it long in case I found a man was stupid and self-hating!.
Everyone's journey is different!. The one thing that I KNOW will help you is DBT!. And don't learn to live with it!. Conquer it!. You are not a disease!.Www@Answer-Health@Com