How can I get my friend to back off?!
Question: How can I get my friend to back off!?
A lot of the times she'll act motherish towards me!.
She even knows that she does(one time she was like,"Wow I sound like a mom!.")!.
I use to talk to her about how I felt angry for no reason, talk to her about how some people were pissing me off and making me sad!.
You know, personal stuff and what not!.
Now, like every other time I talk to her(we talk on the phone around 6-3 times a week), she'll tell me I need to talk to someone about my problems!.
I haven't talked to her about any personal stuff for months, since a couple of months ago was when she started telling me all this!.
I thought she'd back off if I kept my mouth shut about everything!.
And look, I know she's just trying to help me!.
But I'm gonna get help on my own time!.
When I feel that I'm mentally ready, and when I find someone I can trust, I'll get help!.
I really just need her to back off!.
It's annoying and frustrating, and it's kinda making my mental state worse than it was before!.
I've dropped hints for her to back off, like jokingly saying,"What are you, my mom!?"
But that hasn't worked!.
Should I just flat out tell her to back off!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
She even knows that she does(one time she was like,"Wow I sound like a mom!.")!.
I use to talk to her about how I felt angry for no reason, talk to her about how some people were pissing me off and making me sad!.
You know, personal stuff and what not!.
Now, like every other time I talk to her(we talk on the phone around 6-3 times a week), she'll tell me I need to talk to someone about my problems!.
I haven't talked to her about any personal stuff for months, since a couple of months ago was when she started telling me all this!.
I thought she'd back off if I kept my mouth shut about everything!.
And look, I know she's just trying to help me!.
But I'm gonna get help on my own time!.
When I feel that I'm mentally ready, and when I find someone I can trust, I'll get help!.
I really just need her to back off!.
It's annoying and frustrating, and it's kinda making my mental state worse than it was before!.
I've dropped hints for her to back off, like jokingly saying,"What are you, my mom!?"
But that hasn't worked!.
Should I just flat out tell her to back off!?Www@Answer-Health@Com
Answers:
Like you said shes just trying to help
But I think she's trying to help you TOO much by like!.!.
ermm hard to explain!.!.
by trying to i guess!.!.
take control!.!.like!.!.own the situation
and consider it her own
She's trying too hard to FIX your problems that it feels like she's intruding which in my opinion she is, when you just want her for comfort!.
If I were you, I would maybe tell her that she is kind of intruding and trying to tell you what to do when you just want support, not instruction!.
I know what kinda situation your in, I've felt like this before too!Www@Answer-Health@Com
But I think she's trying to help you TOO much by like!.!.
ermm hard to explain!.!.
by trying to i guess!.!.
take control!.!.like!.!.own the situation
and consider it her own
She's trying too hard to FIX your problems that it feels like she's intruding which in my opinion she is, when you just want her for comfort!.
If I were you, I would maybe tell her that she is kind of intruding and trying to tell you what to do when you just want support, not instruction!.
I know what kinda situation your in, I've felt like this before too!Www@Answer-Health@Com
Yea that's annoying!. I have a friend who did that to me ALL THE TIME!. I tired to just stop talking to him about anything that could cause him to go off about how to fix things, which kinda worked!. I ended up telling him how much it upset me and he apologized (I felt bad cause he means well, you know what I mean obviously lol)!. He still does it sometimes and I have to admit that I still stop myself from talking about alot of things because I think he will try to fix things or get judgmental!. I honestly think that it is one of the reasons we aren't closer, it sucks!.
If she is a close friend that you want to keep as a close friend then tell her how you feel and that you are afraid that it could have a negative effect on your friendship (well, it actually IS having a negative effect so let her know that too)!. Let her know that if she doesn't stop doing it then you will have to stop talking to her about really personal stuff and that you really don't want to have to censor what you say to her!. Make sure that you don't make it into a fight, cause then it will be a huge issue even if you guys make up!. If you don't sound serious she might not take you seriously or she might not understand what a big deal it is to you, so make sure that she knows that you're not kidding and it is a big deal!.Www@Answer-Health@Com
If she is a close friend that you want to keep as a close friend then tell her how you feel and that you are afraid that it could have a negative effect on your friendship (well, it actually IS having a negative effect so let her know that too)!. Let her know that if she doesn't stop doing it then you will have to stop talking to her about really personal stuff and that you really don't want to have to censor what you say to her!. Make sure that you don't make it into a fight, cause then it will be a huge issue even if you guys make up!. If you don't sound serious she might not take you seriously or she might not understand what a big deal it is to you, so make sure that she knows that you're not kidding and it is a big deal!.Www@Answer-Health@Com